The halloween predicament

[bluegreysky]

I know I'm almost 2 months ahead of schedule on this but,
I don't know what to do for our first Halloween!

Because of money and scheduling, I start planning special occassions early. I'm also already considering how we will spend Thanksgiving but I'll get to that next month.

Well, Oct 31 is a Friday. That means it's the weekend! I don't work that Saturday. But hubby doesn't really care about this holiday as much as I do, so he has a huge list of limitations for it.
1) He doesn't want to go to a party. As much as I would love to get dressed up and go to a nice tame party with church friends, he just doesn't like to socialize that much. I could go alone, which I often do with social stuff because I'm the extrovert... but I want to spend it with him. It's OUR first halloween.
2) We don't go out drinking. We used to. In past years, just dating, we dressed up and went to a bar. We don't do that now. Drinking isn't good for him.
3) He's sick of haunted houses. We went to those for 3 years straight.
He said even though it's all supposed to be good fun, they mess with his PTSD
4) He doesn't want to watch a scary movie this year. We've done this too, and this year he said he has enough anxiety without getting his butt scared off of him because we watched a slasher with the lights off. One year we went to a scary movie at the movie theater. THAT WAS FUN! (it was silent hill 2). There isn't one coming out that I'd want to see. I get a bad feeling about "ouija". Just too close to something (demonic) that could ACTUALLY happen. I only like movies that are so fake it's scary. hahah
5) He doesn't want to go trick or treating. We've "too old". I don't think so, but he does and he's the "leader" so.....

That pretty much means we'd have to do something like have a fall or halloween themed date night.
He might be willing to consider dressing up and going out to dinner somewhere fun like Buffalo Wild Wings or Chilis, "as long as we don't look too stupid". AAAH HELLO!? SUPERHEROS ARENT STUPID
Maybe we could just go as ourselves and not dress up.
Then we go home and -- ?
Watch a spooky but not scary movie?
watch a kid's halloween movie like "The Nightmare Before Christmas", the soundtrack from which he loves? "This is halloween! this is halloween!"
We've seen that too many times though.

So any ideas from someone out there who doesn't have kids or at least not young kids? as in they don't have to be entertained on holidays such as this?

 

[Inkachu]

How about spending the day at a hayride, apple-picking, and corn maze? Most sizeable farms do lots of fall and Halloweeny themed events. Go pick pumpkins, carve and decorate them! Go crazy making your house (do you live in a house?) all spooky-fun on the outside with spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns! I love-love-love fall and there's soooo much you can do.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

1) He doesn't want to go to a party. As much as I would love to get dressed up and go to a nice tame party with church friends, he just doesn't like to socialize that much. I could go alone, which I often do with social stuff because I'm the extrovert... but I want to spend it with him. It's OUR first halloween.

Get dressed up and go out to eat somewhere. Lots of adults do it and it's a trip to see the servers and such dressed up.

2) We don't go out drinking. We used to. In past years, just dating, we dressed up and went to a bar. We don't do that now. Drinking isn't good for him.

See above.

3) He's sick of haunted houses. We went to those for 3 years straight.
He said even though it's all supposed to be good fun, they mess with his PTSD

How about a corn maze or hayride? Even cities have events like that.

4) He doesn't want to watch a scary movie this year. We've done this too, and this year he said he has enough anxiety without getting his butt scared off of him because we watched a slasher with the lights off. One year we went to a scary movie at the movie theater. THAT WAS FUN! (it was silent hill 2). There isn't one coming out that I'd want to see. I get a bad feeling about "ouija". Just too close to something (demonic) that could ACTUALLY happen. I only like movies that are so fake it's scary. hahah

Then try a non-scary Halloween movie. Charlie Brown, "The Nightmare Before Christmas," "Beetlejuice," "Coraline," Corpse Bride," "Garfield Halloween Special." There's a ton of them.

5) He doesn't want to go trick or treating. We've "too old". I don't think so, but he does and he's the "leader" so.....

Your profile says you're 27 years old... You're about 15 years too old for trick-or-treating. He's right to shoot you down on that one. Trick-or-treating, unless it's at someplace like Disney World or another location designated for adult trick-or-treating, is for children. I've started to turn away the college students, older teens, and full on adults who come to the door asking for candy. /rantover

That pretty much means we'd have to do something like have a fall or halloween themed date night.
He might be willing to consider dressing up and going out to dinner somewhere fun like Buffalo Wild Wings or Chilis, "as long as we don't look too stupid". AAAH HELLO!? SUPERHEROS ARENT STUPID
Maybe we could just go as ourselves and not dress up.
Then we go home and -- ?
Watch a spooky but not scary movie?
watch a kid's halloween movie like "The Nightmare Before Christmas", the soundtrack from which he loves? "This is halloween! this is halloween!"
We've seen that too many times though.

Do you realize that you two have the same exact complaints about each other in terms of how to spend the holiday?

When we didn't have kids, we went to the mall, sometimes dressed up, sometimes not, and watched the kids trick-or-treat. Then we'd go walk the neighborhood, then go back home and dress up and hand out candy while Halloweeny music and movies played in the background. Then we'd watch "Rocky Horror Picture Show" while having my traditional Halloween dinner and call it a night.

Honestly, if he loves the soundtrack it sounds like it's a favorite movie. I think the nice thing to do would be to watch it with him. Perhaps he's not excited because he feels like the things you have planned or want to do aren't interesting to him and/or what he wants to do feels unimportant.

 

[bluegreysky]

How about spending the day at a hayride, apple-picking, and corn maze? Most sizeable farms do lots of fall and Halloweeny themed events. Go pick pumpkins, carve and decorate them! Go crazy making your house (do you live in a house?) all spooky-fun on the outside with spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns! I love-love-love fall and there's soooo much you can do.

WEll, Friday is a workday for me so we only have to worry about how we spent the evening. (he doesn't have classes on Friday just his work-at-home stuff he calls the shots).
We live somewhere that apples don't grow on trees, they only grow in bins at the store but the churches have big pumpkin patches so we should carve some. good idea! We live in a condo where we're not allowed to have decor on the outside of the door and who would see it on the third floor? but we could photograph the pumpkin, then give it away to someone who can put it outside their house

 

[Inkachu]

Why can't you celebrate over the whole weekend? I know it's not "technically" Halloween after Friday, but you could still do fun stuff, who's gonna care?

I spent many years in an apartment, sad that I couldn't get trick or treaters or scare people with a spooky front yard. I feel you! You can't have decor on the door? Why the heck not?

What about the corn maze idea? I LOVE corn mazes. Would being "lost" bother your husband?

Get on Netflix and browse the Halloween movies. Maybe there's something spooky but not too scary, that you two haven't seen yet?

Maybe you could find some Halloween-themed snacks or desserts to make together How about some fun costumes to wear in the bedroom?

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi there!

Try doing something do do with carving pumpkins!

(see this)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtkvDJFSzig

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Once I told my wife what Halloween was she had no interest in celebrating it. Usually before I was married I just sat in the basement and watched movies with the lights off everywhere else so no one came to the door.

 

[Boidae]

Your profile says you're 27 years old... You're about 15 years too old for trick-or-treating.

I disagree with this. I do not think that you are ever to old for trick-or-treating.

The above is only my opinion though.

 

[HannahT]

Since he has this huge list of limitations, and has shot down everything so far? I think its only fair that he come up with some suggestions. lol no that doesn't mean home in front of the tv either!

 

[.chrys.]

Maybe spend the evening with another young couple at their home? Help them give out candy to children who come to the door?

It might be good to start forcing small social situations.

 

[Shane R]

I am from Ohio. Where I grew up that time of year is as much a celebration of the harvest as it is Halloween. I love fresh pressed cider and decorative gourds, pumpkin carving and so on. My wife is more into the Halloween vibe. She loves horror movies and costumes. We too are conflicted on how we will spend that time.

 

[Inkachu]

Double post, yay.

 

[Inkachu]

I guess it would be kind of tricky if you lived in a tropical climate like Florida. You don't get the apples and cider and crisp air that induces bonfires and stuff

I love spooky, macabre stuff, but I am NOT in "horror". I think the world has more than enough REAL horror. If you crave blood and guts and misery and pain, just watch the news. I don't think those things are entertainment in the least. The extent of Halloween for me, is like an old empty house with wind howling and mysterious creaking floors. I love that, because it perks my imagination and smacks of the unknown. But blood, guts, monsters, demons... no, not fun.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I disagree with this. I do not think that you are ever to old for trick-or-treating.

The above is only my opinion though.

Yeah, you're too old at 27. Trick-or-treating is just for kids. Any older than that, I'm sorry, it's basically panhandling. Plus, in areas like mine (we get *well* north of 500 kids), if I'm giving candy to adults, it means that there are kids towards the end of the night that won't get candy... Or I'm spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars to hand out candy to people who're perfectly capable of buying their own. The adults are taking candy that should be for the kids. Unless it's something like Disney World where they specifically say that adults can trick-or-treat, or it's an adult-aimed event, going door-to-door trick-or-treating is not cool.

It's like Santa... There's a point in our lives where we're the receivers of Santa's magic, then there's a point where we become the givers. And with Halloween, there's a point where you get the candy and the point where you give it. When we were growing up it was unheard of for anybody over 12 to go trick-or-treating and I understand that's changed now and "kids" who are in high school go out now with no problem... But full on adults, college students, and older teenagers? No way. That's where I draw the line. It's just greedy.

I'll go with the kids while they trick-or-treat, meaning I'll stand behind them as they go up to houses and get their haul, but I'm not out there with a sack getting candy and no adult should be either.

Edit: looking online, it looks like our town actually specifically says that trick-or-treating is for children 15 and under, but kids 13 and up are encouraged to attend alternate events for teens. I'm perfectly OK with this. You're old enough to drive, you can drive yourself to the store and get your own candy.

My husband's plan this year is that when older teens, college students, and adults come by "trick-or-treating," he'll give them apples. LoL!

 

[bluegreysky]

He likes movies, candle light, pumpkins, going out to dinner for a date but not in costume...and that bedroom idea

 

[mkgal1]

What about a costume and that bedroom idea? After carving pumpkins (I like that idea).

 

[LinkH]

Halloween, the way many celebrate it, is basically a pagan holiday: monsters, witches, jack-o-lanterns used in the old Druid religion to scare ghosts away. The holiday is named after all hallow's eve, but it is the celebration of a pagan holiday about the same time. So why should Christians do that? Reformation day is the same day, btw.

If a missionary came to your church and told about some tribe who had converted but were still offering sacrifices of food to their ancestors, would you be in favor of the tribe continuing? What if he told you about them still celebrating pagan holidays to honor false gods? Would you be in favor of that? Why should holidays from our own country's dominant culture be okay, but not the other culture's?

 

[Autumnleaf]

Does he go to the VFW or American Legion? I know a few veterans who find solace in such places.

 

[akmom]

You could both dress up in costumes that didn't have a scary mask. Having costumes that go together is fun. Does he have a theme he likes, like a TV show or movie that you could dress up as characters in?

Then go to a restaurant that isn't likely to be haunted-house type scary.

Another thing you could do is decorate your place with cobwebs and giant fake spiders and a Jack-o-lantern and whatever else you like. That's always fun. Pass out candy to the kids who come by (they always hit up the decorated houses), either before or after you go out to dinner. Leave a small bin of treats outside the door when you leave, so as not to disappoint trick-or-treaters. If you watch a movie at home, leave your costumes on so you can answer the door in costume for trick-or-treaters!

Personally I would never give candy to adults who were trick-or-treating, because it's a kid thing. I've never encountered anyone try though.

 

[Verve]

Our church does Fall Fest for the kids in our community.
Does your church do anything like that?

You could dress up and volunteer.

I'm personally on board with watching scary movies.
Thunder isn't so much a scary movie guy, so we'll usually settle on a sci-fi thriller.