BF and I are both Divorced on biblical grounds.
I have 2 kids (ages 10/11)
He has 2 kids (ages 25/28)
We are clueless about Step-issues
BF and I had a discussion Sat. morning. He thinks because he worked hard, raised his kids (on his own), payed for their college educations and new cars that he needs to take that into account for my children. I think, just because he did that for his kids, doesn't mean he has to do that for mine. I planned on my kids getting school loans in their name and I will ASSIST in paying for it. I also planned on buying them used cars, as I had growing up. I told him that I am not after his $$ (which he has none anyway). I told him his expectation of himself as a Stepfather are too high but he wants to know what Biological Dad will do to help. I told him I don't expect anything but the bare minimum CS from him...if I couldn't trust him when I was married to him I can't trust him as a divorcee.
Along that same line (finances), I used to make triple what I make now. I'm searching for a job to return to that salary. However, I am happier and more content now than I ever was when I was making all that money. BF set goals to make a LOT of money over the next 5 - 10 years then retire. I, however, want to live my life one day at a time. I told him, even IF I get a job making a lot, that if I'm not happy I have no problem returning to the salary I am at because to me, its my sanity that is most precious to me. My last marriage, I was the breadwinner and my ex saw my value in the money I make. In his last marriage, he made a lot of money and his ex squandered it all away.
Is there anything I can say to alleviate his fears, is there anything you guys can say to help me see more realistically about it?
To me I am happy and content no matter what I make. I have asked him if he has a lust for money. He said no, but 2 people should have similiar goals when uniting in marriage. Sat. a.m. we agreed to take a break for a week and seek the Lord in prayer. He is supposed to call me Fri a.m. for us to discuss this further.
Help!
I have 2 kids (ages 10/11)
He has 2 kids (ages 25/28)
We are clueless about Step-issues
BF and I had a discussion Sat. morning. He thinks because he worked hard, raised his kids (on his own), payed for their college educations and new cars that he needs to take that into account for my children. I think, just because he did that for his kids, doesn't mean he has to do that for mine. I planned on my kids getting school loans in their name and I will ASSIST in paying for it. I also planned on buying them used cars, as I had growing up. I told him that I am not after his $$ (which he has none anyway). I told him his expectation of himself as a Stepfather are too high but he wants to know what Biological Dad will do to help. I told him I don't expect anything but the bare minimum CS from him...if I couldn't trust him when I was married to him I can't trust him as a divorcee.
Along that same line (finances), I used to make triple what I make now. I'm searching for a job to return to that salary. However, I am happier and more content now than I ever was when I was making all that money. BF set goals to make a LOT of money over the next 5 - 10 years then retire. I, however, want to live my life one day at a time. I told him, even IF I get a job making a lot, that if I'm not happy I have no problem returning to the salary I am at because to me, its my sanity that is most precious to me. My last marriage, I was the breadwinner and my ex saw my value in the money I make. In his last marriage, he made a lot of money and his ex squandered it all away.
Is there anything I can say to alleviate his fears, is there anything you guys can say to help me see more realistically about it?
To me I am happy and content no matter what I make. I have asked him if he has a lust for money. He said no, but 2 people should have similiar goals when uniting in marriage. Sat. a.m. we agreed to take a break for a week and seek the Lord in prayer. He is supposed to call me Fri a.m. for us to discuss this further.
Help!
