A few weeks before the first year of my husband day of death, I began to feel the worst anxiety all over again. Couldn't kick it, got very nasty to some good people at work, but realized what was going on in time. Apologized and asked to have the day that my husband had died off from work. I had a 45 minute ride to work each day and seriously thought that I would die on that day also. So I didn't want to die while on the road, possibly injuring someone else. They gave me the day off, I went to bed that night believing that I would not wake up in the morning and was glad it was soon to be over.
I remember opening my eyes that morning and wondering where I was.. Looked like the bedroom.. but it was very hard to move.. afraid to move or something.. Slowly I would start to move, felt for the floor and got onto my feet.. Looking around very cautiously, wondering if I was dead or alive.. looking to see my husband or what, where was I?.. Made my way into the kitchen and eventually took a deep breath. Made a cup of coffee as I realized I had made it through the first year.
I remember opening my eyes that morning and wondering where I was.. Looked like the bedroom.. but it was very hard to move.. afraid to move or something.. Slowly I would start to move, felt for the floor and got onto my feet.. Looking around very cautiously, wondering if I was dead or alive.. looking to see my husband or what, where was I?.. Made my way into the kitchen and eventually took a deep breath. Made a cup of coffee as I realized I had made it through the first year.