The dangers of talking to little kids

[Andrew4jesus]

I notice a poster mentioned he would take issue with someone talking to his child. If that child is walking around unattended and unsupervised and taliking to whoever is around I would take issue with the parent if they had the cheek to say this to me.

 

[Andrew4jesus]

WRONG! Jesus loves children. He rebuked the disciples from keeping children from coming to Him. Some of Jesus' strongest words in the Bible are against people who would hurt children. It is better to cut off your hand, foot, or pluck out your eye than to hurt a child. Jesus, our gentle Saviour said a person who hurts a child would be better off tying a mill stone around his neck and drowning himself.
The
Jesus said that unless people humble themselves as children, they will not enter Heaven. In order to be saved, one has to have child like faith.
Matthew 18:10 "Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in Heaven their spirits do always behold the face of my Father which is in Heaven."

Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children and forbid them not, to come unto Me: for of such is the kingdom of Heaven."

Mark 10:15 "Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein."

The Bible uniformly speaks of children as a blessing, with the exception of the ones calling Elisha a bald head, of course.

Psalm 127:3-5 "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."

As a parent, I would take issue with a grown man who is a stranger to me and my family befriending my children. If it was me and I found out I would take immediate action and talk to you about that.

Now, if this is just a friendly hello and nothing more, no big deal. But if this is an attempt to build a friendship with a child then that is really not appropriate. What could a grown man possibly have in common with a kid?

I understand that. I probably would too.

Well that's all the kids are doing is just saying hello. And that even scares me with everything that goes on in our society. I'm just afraid of being hurt by a very protective parent.

if the parents are not supervising their children they in my mind are the guilty party.
The guilt passed to a man who is just going about his daily business and has come into contact with unattended children is ridiculous. The real problem lays within lazy parenting and fearmongering.
Just saying
Don't let the world and its corrupt ways spoil your life my friend. You are a Christian and a believer in Christ. Hold your head up and speak to whoever you like. If these lazy parents want to get funny give them both barrels about their tardy parenting. You are risen in Christ and shall walk in that valley as our Lord commandeth

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

if the parents are not supervising their children they in my mind are the guilty party.
The guilt passed to a man who is just going about his daily business and has come into contact with unattended children is ridiculous. The real problem lays within lazy parenting and fearmongering.
Just saying
Don't let the world and its corrupt ways spoil your life my friend. You are a Christian and a believer in Christ. Hold your head up and speak to whoever you like. If these lazy parents want to get funny give them both barrels about their tardy parenting. You are risen in Christ and shall walk in that valley as our Lord commandeth

Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

But I still feel like I can't just talk to kids. But at the same time I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells at a place where I'm paying rent. And I do agree that if there are protective parents it is their responsibility to make sure their kids don't talk to strangers.

Also thank you very much for what you said about me being in Christ. I do Doubt my salvation sometimes. I still have sin in my life I need deliverance from.

God bless you. Thank you for all your encouragement.

 

[Andrew4jesus]

@IAMABELIEVER1979

Don't let the world tell you how to feel. You must question the validity of all things in your life. Question your feeling of guilt.
You will see it's the world trying to control and dominate you through lies and deception. Let everyone know the truth, these children are walking up to you a stranger and talking to you, who's fault is this? Not yours and not the child's.
Jesus taught us to search out the truth and the truth is usually just behind the lie but we have to search for it sometimes, even in our heads.

 

[Andrew4jesus]

Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

But I still feel like I can't just talk to kids. But at the same time I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells at a place where I'm paying rent. And I do agree that if there are protective parents it is their responsibility to make sure their kids don't talk to strangers.

Also thank you very much for what you said about me being in Christ. I do Doubt my salvation sometimes. I still have sin in my life I need deliverance from.

God bless you. Thank you for all your encouragement.

Let him without sin cast the first stone buddy, I won't be throwing any stones lol. but those parents would get some of my righteous anger lol.

 

[GirdYourLoins]

In response to some comments on here, the OP said this is in his apartment building. Is it really so bad that kids talk to someone who lives in the same building in what I would assume is a reasonable building and not a slum in a ghetto with shootings every night or anything like that. Im in England and assume this is in America so a different country, but most places here kids being inside the building with the building doors locked wouldnt be such an issue.

There is another point I have though. Being a loner and not being comfortable in dealing ith people is often a sign of lack of confidence in yourself and an area that needs healing. In my younger days I was very much like this and found it difficult to talk to people I didnt know. I had a few friends and everyone else I knew tended to be through them. It was because I was brought up with 2 older brothers by my dad. My mum wanted to keep us but my dad said he'd kill her and us if she took us so she thought we would be better off being alive with him than dead. As you can tell already, my dad was not a nice man and was always violent towards me and one other brother (the oldest brother was his favourite and could do no wrong). My older brothers also used to beat me up. My dad was also verbally abusive telling me all the time that I was worthless and would never amount to anything, should never have been born and stuff like that, usually working himself into a rage so it became violent as well.

Over many years as a Christian, God has healed me, maybe not 100% yet as there are still some psychological scars there, but not far off. I can now speak to anyone with confidence and in my work, church and personal life have dealt with all levels up to chairmen of multi billion pound companies, top corporate lawyers, government officials, politicians, Lords and other aristocracy, etc and am also happy dealing with the other end of what society judges of people including many years of volunteer work with the homeless which includes a lot of people who are mentally ill.

It doesnt matter who I talk to now, I see everyone as, like me, a person. No more or no less. Maybe circumstances and genetics have enabled them to be lifted high in the world or be at the bottom of the pile. Gods love for them is no different so the way I treat them is no different. We are called to share Gods love and the gospel.

Being a loner does not do this, so I would recommend you pray for opportunities to share His word and His love. And also pray for peace in talking to people. Maybe start in your church. It will take pushing yourself to do something you may not want to, but God wants us to grow and live in the fullness of Christ. For me at least, being able to deal with other people is part of this.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

In response to some comments on here, the OP said this is in his apartment building. Is it really so bad that kids talk to someone who lives in the same building in what I would assume is a reasonable building and not a slum in a ghetto with shootings every night or anything like that. Im in England and assume this is in America so a different country, but most places here kids being inside the building with the building doors locked wouldnt be such an issue.

There is another point I have though. Being a loner and not being comfortable in dealing ith people is often a sign of lack of confidence in yourself and an area that needs healing. In my younger days I was very much like this and found it difficult to talk to people I didnt know. I had a few friends and everyone else I knew tended to be through them. It was because I was brought up with 2 older brothers by my dad. My mum wanted to keep us but my dad said he'd kill her and us if she took us so she thought we would be better off being alive with him than dead. As you can tell already, my dad was not a nice man and was always violent towards me and one other brother (the oldest brother was his favourite and could do no wrong). My older brothers also used to beat me up. My dad was also verbally abusive telling me all the time that I was worthless and would never amount to anything, should never have been born and stuff like that, usually working himself into a rage so it became violent as well.

Over many years as a Christian, God has healed me, maybe not 100% yet as there are still some psychological scars there, but not far off. I can now speak to anyone with confidence and in my work, church and personal life have dealt with all levels up to chairmen of multi billion pound companies, top corporate lawyers, government officials, politicians, Lords and other aristocracy, etc and am also happy dealing with the other end of what society judges of people including many years of volunteer work with the homeless which includes a lot of people who are mentally ill.

It doesnt matter who I talk to now, I see everyone as, like me, a person. No more or no less. Maybe circumstances and genetics have enabled them to be lifted high in the world or be at the bottom of the pile. Gods love for them is no different so the way I treat them is no different. We are called to share Gods love and the gospel.

Being a loner does not do this, so I would recommend you pray for opportunities to share His word and His love. And also pray for peace in talking to people. Maybe start in your church. It will take pushing yourself to do something you may not want to, but God wants us to grow and live in the fullness of Christ. For me at least, being able to deal with other people is part of this.

I am sorry that you were abused growing up. I'm very happy what God has done and is still doing in your life.

Thank you very much for sharing.

And yes I live in America.

 

[2Timothy2:15]

if the parents are not supervising their children they in my mind are the guilty party.
The guilt passed to a man who is just going about his daily business and has come into contact with unattended children is ridiculous. The real problem lays within lazy parenting and fearmongering.
Just saying
Don't let the world and its corrupt ways spoil your life my friend. You are a Christian and a believer in Christ. Hold your head up and speak to whoever you like. If these lazy parents want to get funny give them both barrels about their tardy parenting. You are risen in Christ and shall walk in that valley as our Lord commandeth

I never leave my children unattended. You have no idea how I parent my children and I doubt you have any of your own. Sorry, but grown men should know better and there is absolutely no reason to befriend a child without the knowledge of the parent.

 

[Code Phox]

I am a loner....
I do not talk to any of my neighbors...
But every once in a while I come across really friendly kids that like to talk to me...
Right now in my apartment building there two kids that always talk to me: a boy and a girl....
I notice it but I don't respond....
I never smile. I am not friendly....
I have got to protect myself....

I know that it says we are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves, but I can't be friendly to a child that doesn't know me. That's not very smart. Most child offenses, like 94% of them, are done by men.

Again, will I ever hurt a child? Of course not. But I have to look at it through the parents eyes.
If your child is talking to a stranger, would you be very upset about that, even if it was your neighbor that you barely know?
Again I ask how do I handle this without offending anyone?

I summarized your comment and made note of the things that stood out to me. The following is my opinion on the situation based on what you have said from my understanding.

You have antisocial personally traits. I don't judge, I have them too. I'll cut to the chase, as someone matures their social skills grow and their ability to examine others grows also. An adult is able to see if someone can be approached socially, children are innocent and are unexperienced in social pain.
They will attempt social engagements with anyone as they haven't learned discrimination yet. They are being genuinely kind to you and you are thinking your position is a "dangerous" one because you are inexperienced socially.

My advice on how you can handle the situation?
Love them and protect them! It's easy. Show the parents more respect. Tell the kids a joke every now and then, make them smile AND smile yourself. Keep an eye on them and protect them from the danger that you claim not to be.. Grow socially from a relationship with them. I understand you're a 'loner' but that's mostly because of habits NOT because you actually enjoy it. I can say without a doubt, you will enjoy social interaction.

 

[Andrew4jesus]

I never leave my children unattended. You have no idea how I parent my children and I doubt you have any of your own. Sorry, but grown men should know better and there is absolutely no reason to befriend a child without the knowledge of the parent.

I'm not talking about you I'm talking about the parents of the children that op is speaking of. This is not in anyway a slur on your parenting skills,I don't know your children so how would I know anything about your parenting? Lol

If I child Is unattended and speaking to strangers then the parents are to blame full stop.

 

[Code Phox]

I never leave my children unattended.
You have no idea how I parent my children and I doubt you have any of your own.
Sorry, but grown men should know better and there is absolutely no reason to befriend a child without the knowledge of the parent.

You speak about children as if they belong to the parents OR as if your children are 'yours' the way you use the word 'my'. I believe they are God's children, all a parent did was engagement in reproduction. A parents task is protecting and teaching until the child gets married..
I have no ill intentions for a child as Jesus described perfectly what will happen to those that hurt a child. I try to be genuinely nice and loving to anyone I meet so I dissagree with "grown men should know better and there is absolutely no reason to befriend a child without the knowledge of the parent".

 

[Andrew4jesus]

I never leave my children unattended. You have no idea how I parent my children and I doubt you have any of your own. Sorry, but grown men should know better and there is absolutely no reason to befriend a child without the knowledge of the parent.

I can't believe you have called my parenting skills into question? lol

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I LOVE KIDS! Which sadly in this backwards world could be taken the wrong way. I love talking with them, playing games with them, being silly with them. But I cannot really do that if I don't know the parents because the world focuses on being negative so people are always paranoid about someone being a pedophile who talks to kids. Which to be fair I buy into it to since for starters if I had kids I would be freaked out by someone playing with my kid and second having worked online with the FBI to catch pedophiles, they are more common then people realize. Or at least in the 90s they were.

Everyone who knows me though knows when I come over that they don't have to worry about what their kids are up to because I'll play with them. Of course now if kids only realized us "old" people can't play forever. lol. But yes in general I don't do anything with kids, not even talking to them because of how cautious people are (and probably should be anyways). Like if we are standing in line somewhere or at a restaurant and a kid is making faces at me I'll make some back. If the parent sees it they will smile and laugh probably because their child is near them so they feel safe.

Now my dad on the other hand.... he will get the kids in trouble sometimes. At restaurants kids tend to look around the room. So when they look behind themselves at us in the booth my dad will stick out his tounge and shake his head. SO the kid will do the same at which point the mom or dad yells at them "Turn around and stop bothering those people!". So being kids my dad will wait for the kid to look back and make a face at them again. And being a kid they react back again. At which point the parent usually yells at the kid louder and says they are getting in trouble. Mind you the parents don't realize my dad is making faces first.

Thankfully I outgrew my dads maturity when I hit 18.

 

[rockytopva]

I was in the youth ministry and would have children over for fellowship as I lived out in the country. I had to give it up for lack of help.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

I LOVE KIDS! Which sadly in this backwards world could be taken the wrong way. I love talking with them, playing games with them, being silly with them. But I cannot really do that if I don't know the parents because the world focuses on being negative so people are always paranoid about someone being a pedophile who talks to kids. Which to be fair I buy into it to since for starters if I had kids I would be freaked out by someone playing with my kid and second having worked online with the FBI to catch pedophiles, they are more common then people realize. Or at least in the 90s they were.

Everyone who knows me though knows when I come over that they don't have to worry about what their kids are up to because I'll play with them. Of course now if kids only realized us "old" people can't play forever. lol. But yes in general I don't do anything with kids, not even talking to them because of how cautious people are (and probably should be anyways). Like if we are standing in line somewhere or at a restaurant and a kid is making faces at me I'll make some back. If the parent sees it they will smile and laugh probably because their child is near them so they feel safe.

Now my dad on the other hand.... he will get the kids in trouble sometimes. At restaurants kids tend to look around the room. So when they look behind themselves at us in the booth my dad will stick out his tounge and shake his head. SO the kid will do the same at which point the mom or dad yells at them "Turn around and stop bothering those people!". So being kids my dad will wait for the kid to look back and make a face at them again. And being a kid they react back again. At which point the parent usually yells at the kid louder and says they are getting in trouble. Mind you the parents don't realize my dad is making faces first.

Thankfully I outgrew my dads maturity when I hit 18.

Thank you very much for sharing.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

I summarized your comment and made note of the things that stood out to me. The following is my opinion on the situation based on what you have said from my understanding.

You have antisocial personally traits. I don't judge, I have them too. I'll cut to the chase, as someone matures their social skills grow and their ability to examine others grows also. An adult is able to see if someone can be approached socially, children are innocent and are unexperienced in social pain.
They will attempt social engagements with anyone as they haven't learned discrimination yet. They are being genuinely kind to you and you are thinking your position is a "dangerous" one because you are inexperienced socially.

My advice on how you can handle the situation?
Love them and protect them! It's easy. Show the parents more respect. Tell the kids a joke every now and then, make them smile AND smile yourself. Keep an eye on them and protect them from the danger that you claim not to be.. Grow socially from a relationship with them. I understand you're a 'loner' but that's mostly because of habits NOT because you actually enjoy it. I can say without a doubt, you will enjoy social interaction.

Thank you for your reply and your advice.

 

[IAMABELIEVER1979]

I never leave my children unattended. You have no idea how I parent my children and I doubt you have any of your own. Sorry, but grown men should know better and there is absolutely no reason to befriend a child without the knowledge of the parent.

I am sorry that you felt that somebody was questioning your parenting skills. I agree with you That grown men should never befriend little kids.

I hope you are not implying this when you read this thread. Of course I would never befriend a kid. That is very creepy, and just plain wrong. And that is not what is going on here.

But I would never question your parenting skills, and I'm sorry if you felt that your parenting skills was being questioned.

 

[2Timothy2:15]

I'm not talking about you I'm talking about the parents of the children that op is speaking of. This is not in anyway a slur on your parenting skills,I don't know your children so how would I know anything about your parenting? Lol

If I child Is unattended and speaking to strangers then the parents are to blame full stop.

Well you quoted me then made your comment, sure seemed like you were addressing me directly. That is usually how forums work lol.

 

[2Timothy2:15]

I am sorry that you felt that somebody was questioning your parenting skills. I agree with you That grown men should never befriend little kids.

I hope you are not implying this when you read this thread. Of course I would never befriend a kid. That is very creepy, and just plain wrong. And that is not what is going on here.

But I would never question your parenting skills, and I'm sorry if you felt that your parenting skills was being questioned.

I did not think you questioned anything, the other poster who quoted me then rambled on about lazy parents. Yes, I agree, befriending children is creepy and I am glad you agree. Just keep it at a polite hello and go about your business with these kids, simple as that.

 

[ChristianFromKazakhstan]

I am a loner. The extent of my dealings with people are through the internet, and the very few friends that I have.

I do not talk to any of my neighbors, except for maybe a very few that I have known for years, and some that are just extremely outgoing. But other than that I mind my own business and keep to myself.

But every once in a while I come across really friendly kids that like to talk to me. This does not happen often, but it does happen.

Right now in my apartment building there two kids that always talk to me: a boy and a girl. I know the boys parents a little bit, but I am not friends with them. And the girl's parents I don't know at all. Her father would not his head at me when he sees me every once in awhile but I ignore it; I notice it but I don't respond.

This girl will politely make comments to me, and I think she even asked me if I liked her dress.

The point that I am making this is very very dangerous for me. Would I ever hurt a child? Of course not. But the parents don't know that. The last thing I need is the parents to come at me with a baseball bat.

I never smile. I am not friendly. I don't do anything to bring this on.

What would be the appropriate way to handle a very friendly child, and to tell him or her that they shouldn't be talking to you without hurting their feelings?

I have got to protect myself. I know that it says we are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves, but I can't be friendly to a child that doesn't know me. That's not very smart. Most child offenses, like 94% of them, are done by men.

Again, will I ever hurt a child? Of course not. But I have to look at it through the parents eyes.

If your child is talking to a stranger, would you be very upset about that, even if it was your neighbor that you barely know?

Again I ask how do I handle this without offending anyone?

I think the unruly kids must simply be taught by their parents not to harass anybody without asking first. It's rude, it's shameless, it's improper. Why are they not minding their own business? What is their problem that they're stocking and bothering an adult they don't know and shouldn't know? Do they not have friends their age? Are they lonely? Are they not getting enough attention?

Poor, poor kids!!!! They must be psychological wrecks.