Yes, I do know enough about deities, speaking metaphysically.

Ok.
That's because physical stuff has multiple causes, and epiphenomenal and spiritual stuff doesn't have multiple causes.
What is epiphenomenal stuff? Byproduct is the direct translation of ephiphenomonon.
Why can't there be a physical unity? A singularity? Did you skip the step where you explained this?
You say "blatant assertion" like I'm just picking it from the sky. But the fact is that if God had multiple causes inherent to him, this would assume he has a cause as well. Which opens up the door for multiple creators. Which makes you beg the question.
The question is already begged if you define God as being singular because he can't start the universe if he isn't, and then say the universe was started by God because God is singular.
Multiple creators aren't begged here either as 0 creators is a possibility with a caused God.
Oh, and is also avoiding my conclusion with the infinite regress problem. And what the heck does it even *mean* for God to have multiple causes? You haven't defined that, and are blaming me just for jiving with common sense.
Common sense? We are talking about something that has practically no basis in our experience.
You neglect the possibility that God can exist and be caused.
I know it wouldn't occur to you, but something we would still call God can definitely exist and not be the creator of the universe.
That's exactly what you're doing, when you say: Once you assert the nature of "God" you've gone beyond the scope of this argument.
I'm saying that an exacting definition of God is not supported by THIS argument.
You would require some other argument.
That's because anything with consciousness exists as a unity. I exist as a unity.
Dubious.
You do? What about your physical body is it unified? Does this mean that physical things can't cause consciousnesses?
You would have to extrapolate further.
Or anything abstract exists as a unity. Numbers exist as a unity. God is conscious but without the physical stuff (by definition), which means he's pure abstraction, like numbers. Unity city. Also see the stuff above.
God is pure abstraction? Abstraction has substance? This gets better and better.
I turn over one assumption and find a better and bigger one underneath.
The universe was caused by an abstraction. Pure abstractions can cause physical events. Interesting idea.
By reasoning from these constraints.
We would know what the constraints are by reasoning from them? Really?
I have sincere doubt that our metaphysics agree.
I think abstractions don't exist independently of minds and I don't think minds exist independently of bodies, so obviously I don't think God exists because it is some independent pure abstraction.