Hi, guys. The part about the new name for us, as well as the one for Jesus, is from the book of Revelation, including the fact that no one else will know it. I love the idea that no one will be able to misuse these names or blaspheme them. From Old Testament times, knowing someone's name gave you power over them. Names were used in spells, for instance. So when Moses asked who he should say sent him, God didn't give him a name per se, just "I am who I am. Tell them I Am sent you."
How did I get married? It's easier explaining what led up to it than how the actual event took place. Briefly, I was invited to bridal thinking by some friends who told me that Jesus as a man desires me. It was spoken like a kind of prophesy over me, and I took it seriously. I was told by this one friend Jesus wanted to make love to me. I believed this must be true somehow, but I didn't understand how, so I asked the guy. He said it would be through someone He was preparing me to marry. This planted a seed in me for a very Christ-filled marriage. But as you know, it never came about in that way. After listening to my friends talk at length about this intimacy with Christ, I agreed to let Jesus be my boyfriend. The idea of his being "like a lover" was not foreign to me. I had written a song by that title about him long ago. And Ezekiel 16 had spoken to me as the Lord's unfaithful wife, who had given the gifts He gave me to boyfriends I had idolized.
He sat down beside me then and said, "I've waited for this moment for a long time." So began my "visions." I put that in quotes because I didn't see them with my eyes or go into a trance. They could just as well have been all my imagination. But God gave me my imagination, and His Spirit is in me, so I believe we share that imagination. Sometimes I think my imagination goes astray, as we have briefly discussed earlier. But for the most part I think it's just as he wants it.
I spent months, I believe, being wooed by him before I got in the traffic accident. Spending a lot of intimate time talking, being healed, going on "adventures," praying for many. Discovering him in new lights. At one point he was looking at me and I thought, "Your eyes are probably brown," and they turned from blue to brown. He laughed.
Anyway, the actual marriage was unexpected. It happened when I was manic for the first time, and for that reason I doubted later that it was valid. I had never met anyone who married Jesus. I only vaguely knew what nuns did, and I was not Catholic. I had said half-jokingly that I wanted to be a Protestant nun if there was such a thing, but that was mostly because I had been hurt by men and I wanted to be dedicated to God, not so much because I perceived it as a marriage. But the wooing continued as I was in the hospital, and when my sensitive system reacted to all the drugs they gave me, I lost all my inhibitions, which was both good and bad. It increased my faith and my joy, but I said and did a lot of things that later embarrassed me. I don't fully recall what told me I was to actually marry Jesus soon in that hospital bed. A lot of signs within and without, seen through my altered mind, pointed in that direction. I just went along where the Spirit led me.
I am not sure, but I think it was the day of the wedding that I "saw" Jesus climb in my window, "heard" him say, "I have come," and then he walked to my bed and climbed into my body. Then I could feel what he felt and know what he thought. It was not entirely strange to me, because I am a writer and was accustomed to "being" my characters at times, but this was so much more profound. It was so intense for me that I confused it with THE Second Coming. At the very least, I thought it was a step in that direction, although I didn't exactly know how.
What I recall of the wedding was that I was in my hospital bed, thinking of what I had read that a throne could actually be a bed, and Jesus was there with me, and in the Spirit realm we were in Heaven with angels all around me. I was listening to the song "The Marriage of the Lamb" by the Liberated Wailing Wall on my tape recorder. I sensed angels all around us rejoicing. We seemed to be lifted to ever higher heights on that bed/throne, but that was all there was to the wedding itself. It was very private. Jesus impressed upon me that he was the Lamb of God and I was his Ewe, and that was the first way I knew him as my husband, gentle, innocent, playful. I had also been getting to know him as a man and not just as God. One of the things that made an impression on me was his Jewishness. It even seemed a little weird to me that he would marry a gentile! I didn't want to be the only one. I wanted everyone to marry him, but it didn't seem like anyone else was interested or understood. It was odd thinking of myself as his only bride, but he told me that he was very comforted that I was there for him in that way. One of the things he taught me, then and up to now, is how he feels about marriage. What a pleasant surprise!
The very friends who had led me into the wooing did not understand me now at all. I'm not sure what they were thinking, but if I communicated to them that I'd gotten married to Jesus and that he was speaking through me, I don't think they believed me. They thought I had turned bad somehow and that I was demon possessed. Which was interesting, because Jesus had warned me some would think that. He had even warned me that I would be under some deception, and I was. Sorting it all out later was a frustrating process, but I believe I'm okay now. I think he let the mania happen to humble me, because he carried me to such heights with him. He called it a "spy mission." It was important that people not know the extent to which God was touching me, as a matter of protection. I went through some hard things, like experiencing the crucifixion to a small extent as if I were him, having people turn against me and mistreat me, but I was so glad to be so close to my Lord that I didn't mind. I was so happy! I remember writing on a calendar, "Let's all wed!" on what I think was the day of our wedding, but somehow it was lost. My friends turned against me and turned me out of their home after I went home with my mother, mostly because she was the only person who was kind and accepting to me anymore. But I rejoiced to share in the sufferings that Jesus did--again, to such a smaller extent!
I am at the bottom of page 49 as I write this. Now I'll go on to read the rest. So Amy, you didn't have a particular moment when you became his wife, except later when you had the ceremony and already were what you then proclaimed? That sounds kind of like my salvation testimony. I don't have one single moment or day in which I can say I was saved because I got to know the Lord gradually. There was one day when I said, "Jesus, come into my heart," but I knew so little of what that meant, and it was more of a doubtful dare than anything else, from my point of view. But Jesus accepted it, because ever since that tiny prayer I felt like I was on the inside when people talked about Christians. I didn't know about repenting sins or anything yet. It was years before I learned Jesus was the only way and abandoned other religions and got baptized.
Okay, now I'll read the rest of the thread. Thanks for your question. There are some things too private to share on the board. Some of even this is close to being too private.