The Blame Game

[GenemZ]

I’m sorry you experienced that and happy to hear the Lord vindicated you. Did you make any changes in your interactions after the incident?

~Bella

Definitely changed ... There was an element of naivete in my thinking that ceased. I never realized how downright deceitful some people can really be. That job was a time in my life when veils were coming down and seeing some people for what they really are. I love people. But, I learned that idealism is not the way.

 

[GenemZ]

Yeah.. we can't get pass the biological urge to treat women like innocent children.

Some can not pass the biological urge to treat women to having innocent children as well.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, SLANDEROUS, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people." ~2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV)

I think it's only going to get worse. With social media, you can have your own personal army to back you up by going public with your claims. That makes it especially perilous.

This is also one of the reasons why I'm not comfortable dating at this time. This is akin to starting and spreading rumours in middle and high school but the punishment is so much worse than detention.

The bolded..yep 100%. There's this one guy I know that's kind of well known in the sci-fi convention circles. Works the conventions. This has been going on for YEARS and it all started with an ex-wife that accused him of sexually harassing women at the conventions. This total falsehood spread through the social mediasphere like wildfire.

It had caused cosplay women who were once friendly with him, now when they see him, they look at him with discomfort and avert their eyes, pretend he isn't there.

The lies still continued. I found out about it when some woman on FB said she was disappionted how some of her mutual friends on FB had not unfriended this "creep". I was wondering who she was talking about, as a name was not mentioned. The comments populated her page, and someone let it slip his name. I was like "What in tarnation?! What kind of lies are these people making up".

The reason HIS friends aren't UN-friending him, is because they know better than to believe people who fall under the same category as flat Earthers. So he does have backers.

One time, a guy did an interview/article on his craft...people in the comments section said, "Don't glorify this pervert! He's a predator at the conventions!" the author of the article had his back though.

Apparently this niche' community has always been known to be toxic in a Jerry Spinger kind of fashion. He noted most in this area of hobby interest tend to be uneducated, mentally unstable, alcoholics, and so on. Apparently, these people never had a reunion of sorts, because they are so caught up in the toxicity and talking crap about each other.

 

[Not David]

Not sure. When I was younger, I met this girl in high school that we were friends, then she blocked me, then friends, then romantic interest, then she blocked me, then friends again and she blocked me again like last year. All of that in a 5 years period.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I understand the warnings. But I can’t wrap my mind around the malice and vindictiveness. We see things occurring on the Internet and offline. It’s like crazy is the norm and you’re looking for sane people who understand the difference.

Example, the flat Earthers and climate change deniers. It's like we're Alice in Wonderland. We now live in a fake outrage culture. People are looking for reasons to be outraged about something. It's fun for them.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Call-out culture is on the rise,

Aka...the court of public opinion.

 

[bèlla]

Definitely changed ... There was an element of naivete in my thinking that ceased. I never realized how downright deceitful some people can really be.

The loss of innocence is an unfortunate consequence of dealing with diabolical people. Your rational mind cannot fathom the lengths they’ll go to have their way. We’re seeing new lows now.

That job was a time in my life when veils were coming down and seeing some people for what they really are. I love people. But, I learned that idealism is not the way.

In a world full of wolves and few sheep; idealism is hazardous to your health. We’re meant to pursue His truth not ideals.

 

[bèlla]

Example, the flat Earthers and climate change deniers. It's like we're Alice in Wonderland. We now live in a fake outrage culture. People are looking for reasons to be outraged about something. It's fun for them.

Wonderland is a good descriptor.

I’ve seen mob action on the Internet long ago and it ruined someone’s career option with the CIA. They had questionable images and threatened to expose him. These were the sort you couldn’t talk your way out of.

Pack mentality thrives in this environment. Many are itching to wreak havoc. Its a malicious spirit at work.

~Bella

 

[Citanul]

One problem this sort of thing can lead to is the potential difficulty in prosecuting actual rape cases. Only a small percentage of rape claims are false accusations, yet the amount of publicity they get (which to be fair is understandable) has the danger of making it seem like false claims are far more prevalent than they actually are. And if too many people start to buy into the narrative that a substantial number of rape claims are false then it becomes easier for a good defence lawyer to sow enough doubt to get a guilty client off.

 

[bèlla]

I’ve edited the OP to add protective prayers for your benefit.

~Bella

 

[bèlla]

Not sure. When I was younger, I met this girl in high school that we were friends, then she blocked me, then friends, then romantic interest, then she blocked me, then friends again and she blocked me again like last year. All of that in a 5 years period.

That’s very passive aggressive. She uses blocking as a form of lashing out and punishment. That’s unhealthy.

~Bella

 

[ThisIsMe123]

One problem this sort of thing can lead to is the potential difficulty in prosecuting actual rape cases. Only a small percentage of rape claims are false accusations, yet the amount of publicity they get (which to be fair is understandable) has the danger of making it seem like false claims are far more prevalent than they actually are. And if too many people start to buy into the narrative that a substantial number of rape claims are false then it becomes easier for a good defence lawyer to sow enough doubt to get a guilty client off.

You should watch the Netflix true story doc "Unbelievable" it addresses this very issue.

 

[Not David]

That’s very passive aggressive. She uses blocking as a form of lashing out and punishment. That’s unhealthy.

~Bella

Most of the blocking happened when I thought we were getting along so I am suspicious even if I think everything is going well. It was probably my fault to allow her to do it in the first place because I thought she needed a patient and understanding person ( I was an ignorant teenager back then).

 

[GenemZ]

In a world full of wolves and few sheep; idealism is hazardous to your health. We’re meant to pursue His truth not ideals.

I was pursuing truth..I just graduated Bible college around that time.. That is why it was surprisingly easy to adapt to.

Understanding of the old sin nature caused me to snap on my seat belt and step on the gas... It was perfect testing from the Lord and a time for real transformation. It did not make me sad as it can with people going through the same. I was just aware and having the knowledge to understand what was going on. Having that understanding avoids the usual confusion that can come from that sort of thing. No time was wasted being disillusioned like can happen to those who remain ignorant of truth. I saw it as a training course in application of learned truth.I just learned that I had some remnant ideal attitudes working in me because that's how I was brought up to be. Had to make some changes, and move on.

My crushed ideals was not really concerning those deceitful people I mentioned. I instantly understood them once they were exposed. My ideals were crushed (really a bit disappointed) with Bible believers who should have known better. That was the part I did not like seeing. But, the Lord moved me on with that too, a bit wiser than I had been before. My only hope at that point was to keep growing in grace and knowledge, awaiting the Lord to deliver me to a place in my soul that would have its own sufficiency. People to me then became like part players in a movie. Never to know what they really are like until after the clapboard was slapped and hearing the word..."Cut!"

 

[bèlla]

Most of the blocking happened when I thought we were getting along so I am suspicious even if I think everything is going well. It was probably my fault to allow her to do it in the first place because I thought she needed a patient and understanding person ( I was an ignorant teenager back then).

We do silly things when we’re young and inexperienced. Given your disposition, someone with a gentle and fun loving spirit is probably a better fit.

Kind-hearted men can be lured by damsels and ill treated. There’s a push and pull dynamic taking place. They need a lot of prayer and healing before they’re ready to relate in a healthy manner.

~Bella

 

[bèlla]

No time was wasted being disillusioned like can happen to those who remain ignorant of truth. I saw it as a training course in application of learned truth. I just learned that I had some remnant ideal attitudes working in me because that's how I was brought up to be. Had to make some changes, and move on.

I’m glad you accepted the lesson and didn’t remain as you were. That would have led to a lengthy wilderness and further discomfort.

I had a similar experience last year with someone I dated. We had a lot in common. But I couldn’t shake the feeling my calling would be an issue down the road. He’d tolerate my work and that wasn’t enough in my mind.

My aunt had a dream which confirmed my suspicion. My attire and behavior were different. The clothes were items I’d never wear and I moved without a care. I knew it was a warning and stepped away. The connection could lead me astray and that isn’t the Lord’s intention.

My ideals were crushed (really a bit disappointed) with Bible believers who should have known better. That was the part I did not like seeing. But, the Lord moved me on with that too, a bit wiser than I had been before.

I’ve made peace with that and ardently pray for a wise partner and friends. We all have blind spots and I hope to have loving companions who help me with mine and I with theirs.

~Bella

 

[Rigatoni]

We’re becoming more base and animalistic in our nature.

Not me though, I'm well behaved.

I understand the warnings. But I can’t wrap my mind around the malice and vindictiveness. We see things occurring on the Internet and offline. It’s like crazy is the norm and you’re looking for sane people who understand the difference.

I think we've officially entered the Twilight Zone.

It definitely seems irrational, and is deeply rooted I'm sure, with multiple factors involved. Although, I think there's a reason for this rampant, extreme self-vindication.

Internet scrubs are another option. They’re performed by private agencies. They’ll research your footprint and remove damaging elements.

That's another great option I wasn't aware of.

 

[Kenny'sID]

How do you protect yourself from falling prey to wily people? What advice would you give to others less prepared?

Psalm 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

And that is something that can be helped along tremendously by your suggestion of protective prayers, and simply staying close to God

A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. —Proverbs 6:12-15

Hate to say it, but that can be a comforting thought to some of us.

 

[bèlla]

Not me though, I'm well behaved.

You’re quite the gentleman and very kind-hearted.

It definitely seems irrational, and is deeply rooted I'm sure, with multiple factors involved. Although, I think there's a reason for this rampant, extreme self-vindication.

That’s correct. I updated the OP with helpful prayers for spiritual warfare and the demonic elements influencing these events.

This isn’t solely relegated to secular audiences. I’ve encountered similar behavior in Christian groups and shared the virulent reviews I’ve read for Christian books. How does a book make you hateful?

When religious people adopt these behaviors they can become very dangerous. They see their actions as God-driven and often possess an end justifies the means mentality which enables them to cross lines others won’t.

I think we've officially entered the Twilight Zone.

I like that show. I don’t want to live it! We’d better discuss that bunker.

That's another great option I wasn't aware of.

It’s a popular suggestion for people entering the workforce. You can prevent lost opportunities or sabotage down the road. We’ve seen the problem that comments (made years ago) have created for many people.

~Bella

 

[bèlla]

Psalm 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Excellent reminder! I’ll add it to the list.

Hate to say it, but that can be a comforting thought to some of us.

I included it for a reason.

As men of God, you must utilize the tools at your dispense to stand your ground and walk in the knowledge their defeat is imminent. Christ won the battle. The minor skirmishes are the enemy’s way of lamenting his fate.

~Bella