The big "What If"

[simonsays89]

So I posted a thread earlier about my struggle with what I believe is HOCD. I met with my pastor for some counseling while I wait for my psychologist appointment. The big thing that I took out of my talk with him is that I am most definitely a slave to the big "What if."

I wonder if this is something characteristic of OCD and if you guys here have experienced this. Often times when my "pure O" as I've diagnosed it seems to spike, I have a million "what ifs" race through my head. Even if I look at my day to day life, "what if" thoughts are fairly common. I find myself having to convince myself of things I shouldn't, or getting really scared due to uncertainty. Anyone else have that problem, and if so how do you combat it?

The biggest what if (not related to HOCD) lately is "What if I'm/we're wrong?" regarding faith. It's really affecting my relationship with God. I'm trying to rely on him and recommit myself to my faith, but I feel a definite separation from him. As I type this my heart feels really sad and empty. I can't wait to meet with my psychologist on Tuesday for the first time so I can discuss all of this.

 

[ThankGod]

Oh, brother..

Listen, KNOW THIS: God is real. Period. God is love. God loves you infinitely, so much so, that He sent His son Jesus to die for your sins... That's incredible to me, just incredible..

Also, understand that no matter what, it is in God's will. I will say it once again; no matter what happens to you, my brother, it is in God's will. That being said, don't worry about things you cannot control. Just do your best.

For instance, I used to be afraid of dogs before I found God. Now I realize that whatever happens is God's will; meaning, if I get bit, it is in God's will. So don't fear anything, even if you're about to die... Because EVERYTHING IS created by God.. So you fear NOTHING but not following what God says...

Just put your faith in God; put your faith in goodness; put your faith in doing the right things; KNNOOOOOWWWW that no matter what, you're going to be okay, even if you get bitten in the butt by a dog, or in a car accident, or are about to die. Life is all about seeing the positives and not the negatives.

One more thing-- before Adam and Eve sinned, we KNEW that we were with God. We knew like we knew like we knew like we knew that God was amongst us, all of the time. After we sinned, we "gained" the ability to see the positives and negatives of life-- the Godly things and devilish things of life-- instead of simply focusing on the positives. Things never changed; we're still amongst God all of the time, it's just that people have lost the ability to know.

With that being said, KNOW my brother, KNOW. KNOW that God loves you and has your best interest at heart, and put your faith in Him and Jesus, that no matter what, they are steering your life into their direction, if you can keep this in mind.

KNOW my brother. KNOW.

Ask God, in Jesus' name, to strengthen your faith in Him, and help you to see Him everyday. Understand that God is keeping you alive right now... And that He LOVES YOU SO MUCH HE GAVE HIS SON FOR YOU. Know this, brother..

In Jesus' name, I will pray to God that He strengthens your faith in Him. Amen.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Yes, OCD is definitely big on asking "what ifs!" I think you finally have to get to a place you no longer entertain the question and accept some ambiguity and uncertainty, the things OCD doesnt want to do!

 

[CrossPilgrim]

@ThankGod: Amen on the strengthened faith, brother.


Hey simon,

The "What-ifs", or "the doubts" as I call it do come around with these unwanted thoughts. They were the ones that hit me the most at first.

Concerning the distance, I have found that a couple things can cause distance. Now be very careful when considering these, as they tend to attract these pesky thoughts. Ask God to guide you as you consider them.

Okay then...

1) Sometimes God will trust us with "a silence," that is He will purposefully hold back for our own good. Perhaps it is to build our faith and trust in Him. Or maybe He seeks to test us. Either way, we can trust that if our Loving Father has entrusted us with "a silence," that He has good intentions.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

2) This is the tricky one that can attract the thoughts. Get prayed up before you continue, please.





Our sins can create a barrier between us and God.

But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. Isaiah 59:2

We are covered by the Blood of Jesus Christ, which takes away our sins and cleanses us of all unrighteousness.

However, Christians can sometimes stumble into sinful patterns, which can create barriers.

Allow my example for explanation. I was into weightlifting. At first it was a fun hobby, but in time it became an addiction and sin began to creep, oh so deceptively, into my life. I became covetous, vain, selfish, etc. However, it was never my intention to do so. Over time, my relationship with God began to wax cold, and I didn't know why until He revealed to me the thorns I had allowed to stagnate my relationship with Jesus. But God, being our perfect, loving Father, has restored me and is even now helping me escape the bondage I stumbled into.

3) When the raging sea tosses all around us, we (or at least I) tend to panic. In doing so, God could be standing right in front of me and I wouldn't notice it. Like the disciples in the raging sea, I am too focused on the problem. Once I stopped listening to the chaos and realize that my Lord has never left the boat, I find that His peace covers me.


You say you are going to the psychologist. I have no problem with that, but I urge you, make God your #1. He is our Great Physician. He sympathizes with your weakness and knows you are but dust. Those who draw near to Him, He shall not turn away.

If you would allow me a quick personal testimony. I have never taken any medication nor utilized any Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. All I have done is pray. And it works!! God is more than able to help you, my friend. You just need a little faith. Believe me; when I hit rock bottom, I had about as much faith as the most faithless, but He still answered. Maybe God will use medication and therapy in your life, but know this, that unless He is in control of it, whatever you do will just be like putting a bandage over a bullet wound.

Now I know that with these thoughts it is incredibly difficult, but the alternative route is much more painful. I found that my sufferings were alleviated when I got on my knees. That's where the battle of faith is fought.

Ask God to strengthen you in Christ Jesus. It's what worked for me. He is able to get you out of this and help you fight against the stream of flaming darts the enemy shoots at you.

May God's grace keep you and allow you to experience His perfect peace.

 

[ThankGod]

Trust Cross Pilgrams wise words; he certainly knows what he's talkin' about.