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The Avoidant Personality Club

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Spike511

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Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
I didn't know their was a name for it. I just thought of myself as quiet. I answered YES to every question in the little "Your an avoidant if" thing...
Who in your family, is an avoidant? I don't think anyone. My younger brother, mom, and dad are all really social.
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? Ehh, a few.
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0/1
How many emails do you receive a day or week? 10ish a day.
How many online friends have burned you? Alot.
How many offline friends do you have? I have a fair amount of "aquaintances", but only maybe 5ish friends.
How many "aquaintances friends do you have? Maybe 10ish, a fair amount I guess.
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 1
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? Well, I'm IN highschool, so elementary/middle school? Maybe 1-2. Football help's me be more social.
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? Jocks, but I'm the quiet one.
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? I used too.
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? USED to be stuffed animals, now friends I guess...
What do you avoid the most? I hate standing out in the crowd.
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose, because I don't make friends often.

--
Eric
 
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belorba

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Hello, everyone! I am interested in personality types and disorders, and while I haven't sought professional advice, I believe that I have APD. I would like to learn about growing as a Christian with (and in spite of) this disorder.

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Since age 12. One day I "shut down"; my friends were perplexed and hurt by my sudden silence, and very soon they weren't my friends anymore.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? I'm probably the only one
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 0
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week? Besides subscriptions, 1 or 0 per week
How many online friends have burned you? I don't spend much time online
How many offline friends do you have? 3 or 4
How many "aquaintances" friends do you have? many
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 1, my mother
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? almost none
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? I'm a homeschool graduate; I WAS the clique! (P.S. I am not APD because I was homeschooled. There are many opportunities for homeschoolers to socialize and to be involved with their community.)
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? Yes
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? No stuffed animals. I love my family, and I am close to the cat, and to a favorite author who died over 100 years ago.
What do you avoid the most? arguing; being seen as stupid
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them; I am oblivious to subtle social skills necessary to maintain friendships.
 
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j_kid_82

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Me too! I just joined and noticed there was a forum for APD sufferers.
How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant? Since just a few months ago, when my mom pointed it out to me. I just assumed I was socially phobic or something.
Who in your family, is an avoidant? I have it in that I avoid people like the plague but cling to the two or three I feel absolutely comfortable with; my brother is friendly to most people but when it comes down to being friends, he drops them and spends time alone
How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? 0
How many PM's do you receive a day? 0
How many emails do you receive a day or week? Maybe 1 or 2 other than junk mail
How many online friends have burned you? Half a dozen probably
How many offline friends do you have? About three
How many "aquaintances" friends do you have? Maybe one or two
How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? Five including family members
How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? Usually one or two at any given time
What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? The losers/dorks
Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? I'm sure I did
What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Friends
What do you avoid the most? Conflict, being around people I don't know
Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose them, most people irritate me and/or I lose interest
 
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Mr. Teeny

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How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
Didn't know there was a name for it but I guess since high school

Who in your family, is an avoidant?
Dad most definitely


How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?
I hate internet chats, facebook, twitter all that, I prefer email or forums

How many PM's do you receive a day? 0

How many emails do you receive a day or week?
Um are we including spam coz if we are about 100 a day (I really need to do something about that) if we are talking about relevant emails about 2 a day.

How many online friends have burned you?
Yeah not too many, 2 I would say, both girls, I feel bad about that. I don't really have online friends

How many offline friends do you have? 3

How many "aquaintances friends do you have?
Most of my church I guess so...I'm bad a estimating

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
3 close family members, 3 close friends

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?
Same friends 3

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
Totally addicted to playstation and violent movies clique


Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
um no

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
Not one for stuffed toys, I'm a bit of a writer so I probably spend a lot of time with my characters, so perhaps that's in the same realm of imagination


What do you avoid the most?
Getting into situations I can't get out of

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them?
Neither, I don't quite remember how I got my friends but I don't think I'll be losing them soon.

Judging from the questionaire I'm not sure if it seems like I have and Advoidant Personality because I'm pretty close to my friends but characteristics 1, 3, 5 and 7 definitely describes me
 
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aflower4God

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Hi to all the new comers.
Thanks for joining.
I think that this is a great topic to discuss. I have so many questions and stories to share with you all about this topic. Feel free to repond to them if you would like. Hopefully talking about our experiences and what we have learned from them will help us all to grow and to understand that one we are NOT alone and two to understand more about AVPD. I will soon be coming back here to share some of my stories. I look forward to talking about this. I find that talking things out is therapeautic for me. Thanks again for joining and know that we are ALL here for you. Hope to talk to you all soon! Lots of love and God bless
 
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belorba

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Hi, aFlower4God! I look forward to reading some of your questions and experiences, and everyone else's, too! Thanks for starting the thread!

Is this "group therapy" in Avoidant-style, with everyone lurking safely behind their computers? :-D
 
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belorba

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Does anyone experience Depression along with AVPD?

If so, do you think that you are Avoidant because you are Depressed, or is the Depression caused (or made worse) by AVPD?

Is anyone HAPPY to be an Avoidant? I'm occasionally depressed, especially in winter, but I often find this monk-ish life hilarious and beautiful! And unlike a monk, I don't have to get up at 3:00 am!!!
 
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aflower4God

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Welcome everyone. I am sorry that i have not been on here in a while.
belorba,
Yep I have depression and I think part of it may be cause of AVPD. Great question. Let me think about this.....Yep I would certainly say that I am an avoidant cause of my depression, I hate the deep rooted pain ESPECIALLY the pain of rejection. I am only happy being an avoidant cause I don't have to get hurt.
I love sleeping cause sleeping I NEVER get hurt. I live in my dream world, even if the dreams are bad I go back to sleep and have another dream, most of the time I will have a better dream. That is the nice thing about sleep you don't have to worry about getting hurt by anyone.
I have been hurt SOOOOOOOOOOO much this year, and in the past, that I find myself sleeping up to 11 hours a day.....I get up in the middle of the night go on the computer, go back to sleep wake up eat breakfast and then sleep some more. My other roommate say that I am weird cause of it, but hey I LOVE IT, they can say whatever but seeing how I don't have a job (as of Thurs. long story) nor am I in love with a guy why not sleep. Great way to avoid things for me mostly the deep hurt
How about you all, how do you find yourself avoding things? Do you play video games, read, listen to music work a one man job, what? Please share your story, I would love to hear it.
Lots of love to ya.
 
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adwayk

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In some ways I can relate to this survey and in others I can't. I am more picky and selective as I get older and I am also starting to realize a lot of people I considered to be close friends God has seperated me from them because our connections were toxic to others. I definitely like the known and the familiar....I can experience new things but I am usually drawn back to what I know. I am loyal and show major concern when it comes to my closest friends and family members. Whether this qualifies me or not I am unsure. I hate to confine myself to any given stereotype especially when trying to define my personality. It's nearly impossible
 
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aflower4God

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HI there dear sweet sister,
Welcome aboard. PLEASE feel free to come anytime you want and feel that you want to vent, talk or share your stories. I am glad that you came.
God bless you and lots of love to ya.
 
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Faith87

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I've been really beaten by this. I was treated for major depression and psychosis at 17 (22 now), but the medications left me with unfortunate side effects, so I stopped taking them. I have no life. Most of the time just ready to crawl into a hole.

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?

My whole life. The first day in kindergarten teacher/dad spent an hour chasing me around school. She dismissed me for the day and I ended up being in class about 2/3 times a week that year.

Who in your family, is an avoidant?

Grandpa, Grandma, dad, three cousins, sister, one aunt, and two uncles. They have been (or are) being treated for multiple personality disorders/diseases.

How many online friends do you have that your regularly chat with? 0

How many PM's do you receive a day? 0

How many emails do you receive a day or week? 0

How many online friends have burned you? 0

How many offline friends do you have? 3

How many "aquaintances friends do you have? 0

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 6

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?

1 friend, 3 acquaintances.

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?

Loners and by myself.

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? No.

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals? Friends, family

What do you avoid the most? Too much.

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? Lose them.
 
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Lianthe

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Interesting, mind if I jump in...

Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?

Who in your family, is an avoidant? my brother

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with? not sure if I can answer, I just joined today

How many online friends have burned you? Not sure I ever had any

How many offline friends do you have? 1

How many "aquaintances friends do you have? not sure, does my fellow churchgoers count?

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)? 3: Sister, brother-in-law and one unrelated friend (the offline friend)

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)? 1 but she went off the join the "popular" kids, lol!

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School? none

Did you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid? no I had imaginary friends

What do you avoid the most? rejection

Is it easier for you to make friends or lose them? lose them, Why? it just is. People are disturbed when you don't act the way you expect them to.
 
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aflower4God

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WELCOME ABOARD Lianthe
I hope that you find this club to be helpful, I am so sorry that I have not updated this in a while, I will try to. You are not alone my dear sweet loving sister. GOD BLESS YOU and please feel free to post anytime.
LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU {{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}
And once again WELCOME!
 
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BRISH

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wow...interesting..timely




Avoidant Survey:

How long have you known that you have been an Avoidant?
possibly just since...today?

Who in your family, is an avoidant?
By the above "requirements" I would say:
wow, I don't think any of the directly related ones are. Actually, maybe my dad as he's aged.

How many online friends do you have that your reguarally chat with?
It varies. On average though about 1-2.

How many PM's do you receive a day?
Varies. 1 a day maybe. There have been days that exploded, but that correlates to the effort I put forth in it.

How many emails do you receive a day or week?
In a week, probably 1-5? With "forwards" it's like a couple hundred, but that doesn't count I don't think. ha The people I consider friends are mostly coworkers, so I see them daily anyways.

How many online friends have burned you?
wow....um, describe "burned". To keep from going into a negative direction, I'll just say I'm used to it and it's ok. We're all at different places of understanding.

How many offline friends do you have?
Actual friends? There are...about 10 pretty close, 3 really close

How many "aquaintances friends do you have?
tons

How many very close friends do you have (including family/spouse)?
3

How many friends did you have when you were younger (high school)?
1

What clique did you belong to when you were (are) in high School?
We were kind of difficult to describe. I would call it the neutral group. Everyone in it was a part of some other clique due to interests, but came to the "neutral" group for hanging out.

you talk to your stuffed animals alot as a kid?
didn't like them, so I didnt have any, so no. I was never the kind to pretend play? I couldn't, well I guess there was just too much real high stress life stuff around me to think that way?

What was/is closer to you, friends or your stuffed animals?
My mizzuno and Wilson head

What do you avoid the most?
This took some thought.....I avoid being, what I percieve to be a "burden" to others. I avoid being someone who will be seen as one to take a side. My mindset is that, "it just is what it is". That I'm here if needed, and here if I'm not. I'm the permenant spectator who thinks everything there's a lesson to be learned, and that it's going to be learned the way it's meant to be learned..without any controlling on my end. I go with the flow in other words. I'm starting to think though, that I'm kind of setting myself up for problems if I keep that "profile" in certain areas. I think it makes you too easily used as the proverbial "rug" or fall-back person. Or to one person, I can go from being beneficial to that person, to a "thorn" to avoid. It's strange when that happens because nothing on my end really changes. It seems to depend on where THAT person is at though, when honestly I've stayed the same in stances. I can say that without being egotistical, because I'm one of those people that will automatically (almost habit) apologize for something. I look to see what I couldve done wrong first, before anything else. So, with plain confidence I say... I give people too much credit sometimes.
 
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