The 7 a.m. 6 pack

Zoooma · Apr 9, 2010

Oy. Laying in bed, music in my ears, depressed outta my skull, and I got that feeling again -- why not begin the day with a 6 pack? Why not indeed. The convenience store just opened and it's just a 2 minute walk away. I know alcohol won't solve anything, it'll just be a waste of money. If anything it'll help me push aside my problems for a little while. Then what? Sober again and the problems are still there; nothing is fixed. Hating life is hard enough, having to deal with these feelings of getting needlessly drunk, I don't know whether it matters or not. Drink? No drink? What does it matter? Crap. Crap!!!

BlessEwe · Apr 9, 2010

Well there is one promise with addiction, it Will get progressively worse. Recovery is not only about the stop drinking/drugging action it is about total life change/mind change, learning new tools to talk to ourselves!
I sounded just like you, and my life was at a point where alcohol/drugs had a hold of my life and everything I did was with the pre-occupation of the next high.
I would suggest finding a meeting, and start going. You may find that thinks just click for you. Perhaps look one up at
http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.com/ and go to a meeting this morning in your area.

YoDude · Apr 9, 2010

Living sober is worth it, alcohol will eventually destroy everything you have - you cannot win, you must stop.

Its a hard pill to swallow for those who drink too much, but you have to quit forever - moderation typically is a big failure for those who have an issue and just try to cut back.

The worst part about alcohol is quitting the first week, if you are in deep, you are going to experience some very unpleasant side effects, you may need to take a week off work to convalesce properly. You will be extremely sick (if you are bad off), likely sicker than you have ever felt in your life, but it will pass, and then you will be healthy.

Don't let drinking destroy you, it can, and it will, if you let it - don't give up, don't let alcohol dominate you, you cannot control it, just get away from it, and be healthy. Right now you may be trapped by a cycle of staving off 'sickness' by having some morning booze, that means you are in deep, and you are going to have to suck it up and be tough in order to quit.

I doubt you are this sick, but some actually need barbituates from a doctor to avoid seizures upon quitting, but avoid that route if you can, I think seizures upon quitting happen to people who drink a half gallon of hard liquor every day. I doubt you'd even be posting this thread if you were that bad off. Take care of yourself, your vessel is a gift, don't let it be destroyed by some stoopid drink, you don't need it, God will help you get away from it, your problems will only get worse if you don't quit soon. You have to decide: A shortened life with alcohol, or a long one without it. Don't be foolish, the choice is real, you are playing games with your health - take care of your vessel, its the only one you have got, don't destroy it, don't damage it, you will need it, STOP NOW, DON'T WAIT, YOU CAN DO IT. CALL OUT TO GOD NOW. Peace, brother in Christ.

AddictedPersonality · Apr 9, 2010

I can really only add that I really relate. It is so hard to fight the urge when you start getting the itch to use or drink. I really hope you don't get drunk though. I did exactly what you want to do today yesterday and all it did was get me face first in a toilet a few hours ago.

BobW188 · Apr 9, 2010

Between BlessEwe, Trish, Hotsauce, me and some other regulars here, you're talking to people who know exactly what you're talking about. We did it. Maybe beer, maybe wine, maybe mouthwash. Aqua Velva tasted pretty good.

I don't think he'll mind. Go to the thread "My name is hotsauce" and read it from beginning to end. His story can be yours, too. Give AA a call and hit a meeting. If you need detox, treatment, counselling; these guys and gals can get you where you need to go. And if you stay with them, they'll stay with you. For life.

I wasn't there personally; but at the last meeting I attended some guys were talking about an open meeting where a 92 year old man got a 62 Year medallion. It's a road worth taking. Check it out.

RuthD · Apr 9, 2010

I am praying for you to be healed.

Zoooma · Apr 9, 2010

Urges, urges, urges. I'm a terrorist to myself. Strange way to put it.

If I had unlimited wealth I'd drink myself silly.

I hate this. Life's beating the holy crud out of me . . . all I wanna do is get back to right again so I wouldn't have the urge to drink myself silly . . . but since getting back to right again is hardly a possibility, all I wanna do is be oblivious to the pain.

But no morning 6 pack today. Maybe an evening one. Maybe not. Hopefully not.

I hate these urges.

BobW188 · Apr 9, 2010

Three of us have offered you advice based on experience every bit as bad as yours.

Get honest with yourself. Do you or do you not want to stop drinking.

If you do, there are ways: AA, detox, clinics, counselling in many forms including pastoral, inpatient and outpatient programs, Celebrate Recovery ... the list goes on and on. This forum itself has helped people; and I again refer you to the "My name is hotsauce" thread.

If you don't, there's not much we can do for you but pray. As the AA ad I answered back in 1984 said, "If you want to drink, that's your business. If you want to quit, that's ours." That's pretty much the bottom line.

I'll add, and anyone here can tell you this, that as you follow the path of sobriety you'll be surprised to find how many of your problems you think alcohol is helping you cope with are actually caused or made worse by it. If you're doing 7AM six packs, you're to the point where alcohol has substantially taken over your whole life.

We're here. We'll help. But we can't do it for you.

Hammster · Apr 9, 2010

Go to the Cross. Alcohol abuse is a sin issue, and the only cure for sin is the crucified, buried, and risen Savior.

mont974x4 · Apr 9, 2010

Trust me, this will pass. It is early stages that are the toughest.

I was killing a case a day...on average. The volume dropped, for the most part, when I was in Germany but then the strength of the beer went up.

BobW188 · Apr 9, 2010

As for going to the Cross, of course. But Jesus has different paths for different people; and AA has proven to be the right one for millions. Also, though AA is not a specifically Christian program, many have come to Christ or returned to him through it.

We can debate this both ways. Hammster and I can each make a persuasive case. I would argue that, for some of us, the misuse of alcohol is beyond our power to control. It's the consequences of that abuse which are sinful; and we must take the responsibility to change! Then only can we get help from any source.

Go to the cross; and get help.

Hammster · Apr 10, 2010

Then let me be a little more specific. Alcohol abuse is a sin issue (something I haven't seen mentioned much around here). The Gospel deals with that. And the local church is what Jesus set up to help sinners. I think God knew what He was doing. So I would only recommend AA to someone if it was under the shepherding of a pastor.

YoDude · Apr 10, 2010

Strangely I felt very close to God while I was still drinking, I only quit because I did not want to die early and lose everything (I got really sick), otherwise I may still be doing it (if the consequences had not been there).

That was my 'bottom', unfortunately most will not quit until a major roadblock or 'bottom' is reached. I went through several cycles of quitting and restarting, each getting worse, each time getting sicker, until I got so sick I could hardly even function - it really sucked, I never want to experience the sickness I felt with alcohol again.

One time after a long break, I grabbed a couple of cases for just a quick weekend of fun - I was basically sick by the end of the first beer, but that didn't stop me, I kept on that weekend binge, and by the end I could barely drive home, Sober, now that's sick. I never want to feel that way again, helpless, almost like you belong in a death bed, that feeling of illness was my 'bottom', and I will never feel that way again if I can help it. My vessel is way too important to me, and I want to grow to be an old man, God is not done with me yet, I will fulfill my Destiny, and its not lying in an alley vomiting in shame destroying myself; a voice said you have to stop, or you will die, and I believed it.

BlessEwe · Apr 10, 2010

Hammster said:
Then let me be a little more specific. Alcohol abuse is a sin issue (something I haven't seen mentioned much around here). The Gospel deals with that. And the local church is what Jesus set up to help sinners. I think God knew what He was doing. So I would only recommend AA to someone if it was under the shepherding of a pastor.

Guess what Hammster did you know over eating, excessive use of electronics, extreme exercising, gossiping, judging, shopping, sex, basically any endorphin seeking activity is a sin dude. Changing the way we feel is a sin and is a very well known fact in the AA community.
For some who struggle with faith we try not to push them as AA is a God centered program that for many leads them to Christ, some don't.
AA encourages Christ, but it is a seed placing program allowing members to seek for themselves, not cramming it down your throat program of guilt and shame.
There are many programs that are in churches.
Some reaching out for recovery feel uncomfortable with churches or pastors. The key is finding recovery, some find God right away, some it takes a while, some never do.

Hupomone10 · Apr 10, 2010

I don't see "Hammster"'s replies here. I don't know why. Maybe they were taken off, or maybe you can't see them if you're a "newbie". Anyway...
I want to encourage you, Zoomba, if I can make it you can make it. If you do choose the AA route, don't judge it by one meeting. There are lead meetings where someone shares their story, there are topic and book meetings where a chapter of the AA books are discussed, and there are discussion meetings where any topic affecting sobriety is often brought up.

How was your Christian walk prior to alcohol? It may be important.

I had walked with the Lord for many years prior to alcohol, but had faced no major difficulties. Along came a marriage and certain issues were more than I was prepared to handle. I went back to my favorite friend - alcohol. It got worse, and before I knew it I had become a severe alcoholic and lost my wife and two children. I spent 6 years in AA before I realized that my problem was one of faith. I stepped out in faith in Christ alone, by His grace alone, in the power of the Spirit alone, and began to get better. It is not an easy road. But I can assure you it was well worth it. The last part of time I was in AA I stayed sober 4 months, 4 months, 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 weeks; and finally decided that "insanity is trying the same behavior and expecting different results." That's the walk I had to take; but it won't be the same for all. But for this reason, and not apparently the one Hammster may use, I do not just recommend people "go to meetings" although they can't hurt. That to me is just like telling someone "go to church" when they're caught in a stronghold. If I don't have anything better than that to offer; I really haven't gone very far. But why don't you try it, and then come back and let's discuss it. For now, realize that you're just a garden variety alcoholic, many of us are there with you. Even though recovered, we're there with you in the trenches, and believe me we can remember it all too well.

Zoooma · Apr 11, 2010

Hupomone10 said:
How was your Christian walk prior to alcohol?

I've always drank. Teen years, early 20's: stupidly, immaturely. Late 20's -> 30's: much more maturely, not to get drunk but to just enjoy a finely crafted pint of beer.

Me & God since 2000: been good for the most part and alcohol didn't affect that.

Past 8 months: life's been hell on earth. Each day brings no happyness. There's temporary joy in music, movies, baseball . . . but all that's just a rather hollow substitute for true joyfulness in living that should be there, just a distraction from the pain.

My faith has remained strong. My drinking, though, that's been way more than just an occasional pint. I don't believe a person can be close to God when drunk. We're not to have an impairment getting in the way. But I wanna drown out the pain related to the garbage in my personal life. Drinking does that . . . temporarily. God I'll say sorry to and seek forgiveness from. That relationship isn't detrimentally affected. With a 6 pack I guess I push Jesus away, but not out of the picture.

The urges are just horrible. Like now. 2 a.m. and all I wanna do is drive to the nearest 24 hr convenience store and buy a 6 pack of garbage beer and drink. My tolerance is kinda low and by the end of #4 I'd be sufficiently buzzed. But I know tomorrow nothing will be better.

This sucks.

Hammster · Apr 11, 2010

Here's what the word of God says. It might be helpful to meditate on it.

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,
21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

madison1101 · Apr 11, 2010

Sorry I have not been here to reply as of yet. I can tell you that the ONLY thing that has been of any help to me in developing a sobriety I can live with it AA, which I believe is from God to help people of all faiths get sober and from there they can find their walk with Him.

Zooma, are you serious about wanting to quit, because AA will help you, if you want it. If you want to come here and complain about how bad it is, while you drink, that will be torture for us, as we watch you kill yourself with alcohol.

Go to Alcoholics Anonymous : and read the Big Book and the Step Book and see if you can relate to the Big Book at all.

God bless as you seek His will.

Trish

Hupomone10 · Apr 11, 2010

Zoomba:
Maybe it will help if you know that it's often said that "the only requirement for membership" in AA "is a desire to stop drinking." That's why several people already have asked you that question. From my perspective, and I was also in AA for 6 years, I'm glad you're writing it down. These are your thoughts and temptations, and I wish I had started writing them down much sooner than I did. I recommend doing so, in a form you can go back later and review.

You haven't mentioned AA yet, after all the encouragement to go there; and I guess I'm wondering, along with obviously several others here, what your response is to that suggestion. However, it will not be torture to me if you don't embrace it. It will be disappointing if you do not desire to step out toward recovery. I sense you want to; but I also sense there is a great struggle letting go of the thought of drinking normally once again. I believe that ship has sailed. I will leave you with a quote:[FONT=&quot] Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. "Alcoholics Anonymous" p 30[/FONT]

hotsauce5000 · Apr 13, 2010

zoooma,

i think you have the desire to stop drinking. it took me sitting in jail for 12 days and a court order. ive been n AA almost 19 months and it makes a huge difference in how i think and is an excellent reminder of how alcohol affects a person.
its really kool, you meet people and hear things that really jump out at you. you will be surprised at what you can learn there. find all the groups in your area, and keep going back. thats how it works, you keep going back. you may like one group more than others, keep on till you feel like you have found your home group.

at first i wondered why some of those people have been there so many years, until i got it. they keep involved because they understand that it helps keep their mind clear and away from putting alcohol in themselves. thats why i keep going back, i have things in my life that make me want to be numb. going to meetings is like medicine, i always feel better after i go, without dealing with a hangover!

your first few meetings will probably be awkward, trust the advice here and stay with it. make sure you listen very closely, what you need to hear will come to you.

BTW, the first step is very easy. the twelve steps should be posted on a big poster, you will see..............................

The 7 a.m. 6 pack

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