That's bad advice....

[Leader of the Banned]

LOTB: I've got high blood sugar, what do I do?

GreenThumb: Throw out your insulin and eat a bowl of marshmallo ice cream!

and so on. I'll start....

I'm a thousand dollars in debt, what do I do??

 

[AliveIndeed]

Quit your job, travel around the world for a year, and max out your credit cards! And it would be a good idea to see if you can get several more credit cards before you go, so you have lots to max out!

My garden isn't growing well, what would help?

 

[Leader of the Banned]

You keep watering them but you're not giving them any motivation to grow, a couple gallons of gasoline should do the trick

I've dislocated my patella, what should I do?

 

[Greenthumb]

Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

There's a squirrel digging up my garden, what should I do?

 

[QuickandSilver]

Run out and offer to help.

My kitty just spat at me, how should I react?

 

[Leader of the Banned]

Stir fried with teryaki sauce

My daughter likes to wear half shirts with mini skirts, what should I do?

 

[QuickandSilver]

Easy, just ask her if that really is cellulite on her legs and why is her tummy sticking out like that.

My neighbors have three teen-agers and it took four deliverymen to haul in four speakers the size of stonehedge megaliths!!!!!

What to do?

 

[Leader of the Banned]

Give them the new P.O.D. and enjoy the music

My dad drinks too much, what should I do?

 

[QuickandSilver]

Ask him to join you at your next AA meeting.

All my Exes are from Texas and they are after me.
What should I do?

 

[rosemoss]

Invite them to your wedding.

My son has girls calling him all of the time and its driving me crazy, what do I do?

 

[QuickandSilver]

Always answer the phone first and tell them how proud you are that your son will join the Police Department.

I just found out my identity was stolen three years ago and I am getting huge bills, arrest warrants, and death threats from somebody else's enraged spouses.
Some quick advice, please!!!!

 

[Greenthumb]

Call them all back and offer your services...for the mob!

I found some chicken at the back of the fridge...it's only partially green...

 

[Leader of the Banned]

so just eat the green parts, it'll be good for your thumb

I'm nine monts pregnent, what should I do???????

 

[QuickandSilver]

Notify Mayo Clinic and brace yourself for about a billion dollars and a difficult delivery.

I just found out that insanity runs in my family and I have already been crazy for years.
How to proceed?

 

[Greenthumb]

Paint the nursery yellow...that way it'll be okay whether it's a boy or a girl.

There's a funky smell in the kitchen...I think there's a mouse in the wall.

 

[Leader of the Banned]

Paint the nursery yellow...that way it'll be okay whether it's a boy or a girl.

There's a funky smell in the kitchen...I think there's a mouse in the wall.

Probably just a lizard.....

I just found out that insanity runs in my family and I have already been crazy for years.
How to proceed?

 

[Greenthumb]

Probably just a lizard.....

No geckos allowed!

Notify Mayo Clinic and brace yourself for about a billion dollars and a difficult delivery.

I just found out that insanity runs in my family and I have already been crazy for years.
How to proceed?

Crazy? I was crazy once...they put me in a room...a rubber room...with rats...rubber rats...they drove me crazy...crazy...I was crazy once...:o

I've got a toothache, but I'm afraid of dentists...

 

[Leader of the Banned]

so take a hammer and chisle and go for it

The Cops are pretty worthless where I live and somebody broke into my house! What now?

 

[rosemoss]

Turn your house into a donut shop and the cops will be there anytime you want!

I need to mow my grass but its muddy outside, what shall I do?

 

[QuickandSilver]

Buy a goat to eat the grass and a pig to enjoy the mud.


My car won't start, but the fuel gauge is broke, so how can I tell if I am out of gas?