Reading through these posts has helped me enormously. I've dealt with depression for more than thirty years now and I've learned things here. I became an alcoholic at 16 and it was my first attempt at self medication. Alcohol did everything but kill me although it wasn't for lack of trying. I've spent a total of over a year and a half of my life as an inpatient, between detoxes, treatment centers and locked wards. God took me to A.A. for treatment of the alcoholism and it's had the added benefit of bringing me into a much better relationship with God. I firmly believe that God has worked my depression and alcoholism for good in that it may well have been the only way He could have reached me.
I still carry the weight at times. Some days are dark and it's a struggle to drag myself around but I've learned that "this too shall pass" and I've gained a certain "strength" from dealing with this for so long. I'm presently not taking any meds but have ran the circuit as far as they go. My last was Effexor and Celexa combined and they worked like a charm, but I had the "brain shiver" response whenever I went past 24 hours. Plus, like so many others, I accepted the lack of pain as a substitute for joy.
I recently went through a really difficult time which let me back to the alcohol. I went through a divorce, foreclosure, my Mom died and a remarriage in a short time span and I let myself become overwhelmed. I wasn't leaning on God as I knew I should have been doing. I ended up back at a Treatment Center and got re-engaged in A.A. and things have gotten better, slowly. I'm closer to Christ than at any other time in my life. I feel as if I've crossed some tipping point where I can finally rest in Gods love and give over the darkness that seems to dog me. It also helps that me and my new wife are equally yoked and that's a first for me. This is my fourth marriage so I can't keep doing this. It's getting exhausting:o.
I look forward to hearing from y'all and helping where and when I'm able. Thank God for places such as these.
I still carry the weight at times. Some days are dark and it's a struggle to drag myself around but I've learned that "this too shall pass" and I've gained a certain "strength" from dealing with this for so long. I'm presently not taking any meds but have ran the circuit as far as they go. My last was Effexor and Celexa combined and they worked like a charm, but I had the "brain shiver" response whenever I went past 24 hours. Plus, like so many others, I accepted the lack of pain as a substitute for joy.
I recently went through a really difficult time which let me back to the alcohol. I went through a divorce, foreclosure, my Mom died and a remarriage in a short time span and I let myself become overwhelmed. I wasn't leaning on God as I knew I should have been doing. I ended up back at a Treatment Center and got re-engaged in A.A. and things have gotten better, slowly. I'm closer to Christ than at any other time in my life. I feel as if I've crossed some tipping point where I can finally rest in Gods love and give over the darkness that seems to dog me. It also helps that me and my new wife are equally yoked and that's a first for me. This is my fourth marriage so I can't keep doing this. It's getting exhausting:o.
I look forward to hearing from y'all and helping where and when I'm able. Thank God for places such as these.
