coffee4u
Well-Known Member
- Dec 11, 2018
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If they don't know what "no" means, then why do they tell their parents "no" when they clearly mean to disagree? The fact that they use "no" so unerringly and so early means that they had actually known the meaning of the word long before they deliberately used it.
Because they have an inbuilt drive to be autonomous, not only over their own body but over their decisions; it's why a baby does try so hard to turn over. Yet at the same time they don't know what being autonomous and in control really entails and each gain can cause fear or uncertainty. Of course some toddlers handle this better or worse than others. Some babies after they learn to pull up will cry until you place them back sitting and then they will stand up again. The drive is to stand, but once that autonomy is gained it can come with uncertainty. Toddlers need safe choices. Deciding every thing for them isn't healthy but allowing them a say in everything isn't healthy either. They need little bites of autonomy done in a safe environment.
Autonomy is important because you wouldn't want your child to grow up and not to be able to say no when they needed to. They need to be able to say no to peer pressure or to that guy in the van while still being obedient to your house rules. Some people do grow up being too easily swayed or saying yes that they end up in trouble. It's a delicate balance and toddlers are not known for subtlety.
Apart from showing autonomy its also a lot easier physically to say "No" than "yes"
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