terminate a relationship in depression?

[chrisschris]

HI There...

I hope I dont nerve anyone with this topic when its not in the right forum.

I had already written in a topic about me, and I think you people have the strength in fatih although you struggle and you have wisdom for a lot of topics, so thank you tha you are reading.

I got diagnosed severe depression 18 months ago and struggle with this since then.
in the meantime it s rather middle and and come through the day ( with work and study ) without medication ( I took some for a time)

I met my girlfriend in a rehabilitation center where she was with a "burnout" diagnose.
So since 1 year we re togehter and the feelings change a lot.
Right now i cant show here that she is 4worth to be my girlfriend./since 5-6 months)
I dont kiss her , I dont want to be intimate with her, and I dont have the feeling that I could be with her for the rest of my life.

The relationships I had before , were more as I expected them to be...
Ok, ...its not very christian but I had sex and wasnt married to anyone of the previous girlfriends (just a few ) I ever thought these girlfriends would be my future wifes...

OK..
right now I dont know what to do.
My girlfriend likes me, and has more feelnigs than I have, and she says that she doesnt know if its good to make a decision about a relationship when one is in a depression.

I dont know...she s a great woman, she s very wisdom, she has a strong faith, but something lacks...I dont know ... whatfor I have to wait...
I cant enjoy it ...
thanx for a advice...

 

[Angeldove97]

Thanks for sharing what you're going through with us. I think it is very kind of you to think about your girlfriend and what is best for her in this relationship-- to me that's a sign of genuine love right there.

Do you feel that this relationship has potential? Is marriage one of your future goals? Do you think that your depression is keeping your true emotions of genuine love and physical love for this person from surfacing?

You spoke about something lacking-- is it something lacking in the actual relationship between the two of you? Or is it something lacking in her-- personality wise?

 

[plumsink]

If you are having a serious bout of depression, you don't want to be making any major decisions if you can avoid it. I am hardly a relationship guru, these are just my impressions. I would think that having someone who is really motivated to be with you and is loyal to you is 8/10ths of a successful relationship. Honestly, in any relationship the initial rush is going to be gone at some point, there is a huge difference between "falling in love" and real love. The emotions and sex and so on of "falling in love" are fine, but they will never last, and unless you want to be doomed to an unending series of short-term relationships it has to transition to real love at some point.

I've been dumped before, it bites. Don't do that to someone without good cause. People say that this one and that one are not that perfect "Ms. Right", Ms Right doesn't exist. At the end of the day humans are just humans, they eat and cry and poop and dream each pretty much just like the other. If she has a negative behavior you can't live with, drug use or theft or something of that magnitude, breaking up with her is absolutely understandable - if you are breaking up with her because the initial thrill is gone I got to tell you, it will always be gone at some point. Don't throw away love just because it's not "in love".

Peace