Telling name choices

[Leanna]

Okay so last time we didn't tell *anyone* our name choice(s) at first, and then didn't tell our name choice once we had picked. So we told everyone David's name after he was born and didn't hear any objection or any whining. We're under a lot of pressure to tell our names this time and I am not sure I want to. I already mentioned the possibilities online, and I think I shouldn't have done that, thinking about not telling anyone offline in our life but there's soooooo much pressure to tell. Has anyone else waited until birth to tell people, and how did they react? What do you think are the advantages of telling or not telling? I just want to avoid hearing "well... I don't really like that...." from people because its not their baby and I don't care.

 

[seamonster]

It shouldn't matter if you tell before or after birth. So what if people don't like your names? It's your child -- not theirs. We'll tell if people ask but I really don't care what they think. My relatives have given their children some absolutely hideous names (Reed Ivan, for one) so they have no room to talk. Just my 2 cents.

 

[RoseofLima]

You could just keep saying that you haven't come to a final decision yet.??

I am lucky people have a much greater issue with how many kids I have than what they'll be called

 

[seamonster]

You could just keep saying that you haven't come to a final decision yet.??

That's a great idea Only problem with that one is then people will keep giving suggestions

 

[Linnis]

People will always think they have a right to an opinon even when they don't. My MIL doesn't like ANY of my middle name choices and likes george after her Dad...uh no, not happening.

I keep telling people unless I ASK for advice I won't be listening to it.

 

[Beth1231]

Leanna, you are a strong person. Your family must know that by now. For that reason, I would absolutely stick to my guns and let them know as kindly but firmly as possibly that "you will find out when the baby is born." In fact, I would just keep repeating that phrase to whoever asked. If your family senses you are at all about to give in, they will just keep pressing you. Since you really don't want to hear their opinions of your list, be nice, be firm, be strong

 

[Cright]

My SIL told for her 1st two and regreted it.. for her 2nd two children (she has 4) she did not tell until they were born. She said it was MUCH easier to deal with the pressure of name telling than it was to deal with the family trying to get her to change names because they don't like the ones her and her hubby picked.

My son's name isn't a secret, and now I understand what SIL went through. Most people I tell say they like it, but my MIL is driving me insane. She has told me on mutiple occasions she doesn't like the name. It's my grandpa's name.. a family name. It means something to me, and she's just giving me flack. Next time, NO name announcement will be done til baby's born. I'll end up loosing it!

 

[sioleabha]

For me it has never mattered. I know that my family doesn't like that I'm pregnant, doesn't like any of the names we pick, doesn't like how we raise them... blah, blah, blah. So it doesn't matter whether it's before or after the kid's born, I know I'm gonna hear it regardless. I tune it out.

But if you don't want to tell, why should they make you? They aren't going to convince you to change your mind on the name, so why should they change your mind on the timing??

 

[RoseofLima]

I keep telling people unless I ASK for advice I won't be listening to it.

You go girl!!

 

[Linnis]

My son's name isn't a secret, and now I understand what SIL went through. Most people I tell say they like it, but my MIL is driving me insane. She has told me on mutiple occasions she doesn't like the name. It's my grandpa's name.. a family name. It means something to me, and she's just giving me flack. Next time, NO name announcement will be done til baby's born. I'll end up loosing it!

I so hear you, my MIL keeps saying Joseph doesn't sound good and the only good middle name is her dad's which I don't like. Joseph would probably sound better is she could actually pronounce it. Then again no matter what my MIL has her nasty comments that's why NOBODY likes her.

 

[Leanna]

My SIL told for her 1st two and regreted it.. for her 2nd two children (she has 4) she did not tell until they were born. She said it was MUCH easier to deal with the pressure of name telling than it was to deal with the family trying to get her to change names because they don't like the ones her and her hubby picked.

My son's name isn't a secret, and now I understand what SIL went through. Most people I tell say they like it, but my MIL is driving me insane. She has told me on mutiple occasions she doesn't like the name. It's my grandpa's name.. a family name. It means something to me, and she's just giving me flack. Next time, NO name announcement will be done til baby's born. I'll end up loosing it!

Yes, thanks, that solidified to to me. I feel that before birth there's the opportunity for them to talk me out of it or scrunch their noses for a while and hope that we'll change, but if I wait it'll be too late and all they can do then is sigh and accept.

Nice ticker by the way

 

[katelyn]

I can definitely understand waiting to tell, but I actually had a good experience of telling ahead of time. DH and I got it narrowed down to four name choices last time and then did one of those silly baby name polls on BabyCenter, where everyone got to feel like they put in their two cents (although the nice thing was that there was no space for write ins ) and those who voted for Natalie got to feel like they "helped" us pick the name. So then when we announced our decision everyone was fine with it.

 

[jgonz]

We always said, "we're thinking of ____ for a girl, and ___ for a boy." No one ever said anything negative... but then again I did threaten to flatten anyone being negative with my last 3 pregnancies... lol

 

[CrystalBrooke]

before i found out what Emily was we had decided on Nicholas for a boy, my mom hated it...but i just told her that if she wanted to name a baby that she should have another....if you dont want to tell then dont. i cant keep a secret so i had to tell...i even accidentally told mom that emily was a girl before i meant to. if people ask why you're not telling them just be honest, tell them that you dont want to hear about how they dont like it or this name would be better...if they get mad, so what.

 

[giddybiscuit]

I can't believe people, including relatives, feel so free to say they don't like the name someone has picked for their own child! We freely shared our ideas for names and nobody said anything negative. Well...other than my SIL, but she was 11 and slightly lacking in tact. What annoyed me, though, was when my DH told his brother one of my suggestions for a boy's name and he (BIL) told him it was horrible. DH already wasn't very thrilled with the name but I had some hope of turning him, until my BIL had to open his mouth. Blah!

We'll probably tell again next time, but maybe not until we've made our final decision.

 

[lin1235]

My sister just had her second baby and both times they only announced the name on the day of the birth.

We're going to announce ours beforehand though. My husband wants to start calling the baby by her name, instead of saying "junior" or "the baby" all the time. Make her a part of the family from now on, you know? But I think that will work because we'll say "this is her name", and not "we're thinking about..." which will just invite suggestions.

If anybody doesn't like her name they'll have a hormonal pregnant woman to deal with, anyway!

 

[RooMama]

Hmmm, We told names with both kids, and no one complained at all or said anything critical. Maybe I should be a little more thankful for my family.

 

[Singin4Him]

We've mentioned our ideas but we're not set on anything for the boy yet, though we know the girl's name. We've been careful about who we talked about the name choices with, if it gets to my cousin who is currently pregnant she may use one of our names out of spite. She's really been pressing me to find out what we're thinking but we just say we're not sure yet. When we find out what we're having we will have our name set in stone and tell everyone.

I wouldn't worry about what others think of your name, it's your baby and your choice.

 

[GolfingMom]

I waited until the baby was born. We didn't have final names picked out until the baby was about 2 days old.

 

[ChristusG]

I guess I am different. I could care less what anyone thinks of the names that we choose. It's my kid and I will name them what I want. Other people had their chances to name their own children. I'm very very stubborn LOL! Dh and I chose our DD's name before we found out whether we were having a boy or a girl. We had a name for each picked out. When we found out the sex of the baby (which wasnt until 30 weeks cause the little squirt had her legs crossed LOL) we also told the name as well. We chose an uncommon name....Paisley Rain....but we didnt get any negative responses or anyone trying to change our minds about the name. My parents said "we will have to get used to that." But now they admit, she is definitely Paisley and could not be anything else. We will probably tell the name at the same time this time around. I'm too impatient to wait until the birth. Plus, I got a lot of personalized "Paisley" things at some of my showers, and that's really cool.