- Mar 4, 2005
- 13,639
- 2,057
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Word of Faith
- Marital Status
- Single
Hard hard hard.. painful and strange.. but I do believe and know and experience the wonder of GOD walking me through this.. and I do not know how anyone could go through this without HIM..
NOT what I wanted.. but every message... scripture.. sign right now is that this is the way I must walk.. but never alone.. I have done counselling.. talked alot to my husband and am willing to do whatever it takes.. but he is not wanting to return.. walked out over 20 months ago.. not wanting the commitment at all to me.. he is not a believer either..
I have done all I can... physically.. mentally and spiritually.. GOD has this.. I have cast my cares to HIM.. this is the way I am led.. I have peace.. though still sad and strange.. and painful..
Can talk to my parents.. but too many have thier own problems.. and no one else around except a few very special friends.. you mention divorce and people just kinda stop talking..
My parents are helping.. make phone calls as I am hearing impaired.. my counsellor knows of course.. it will take months apparently till it is final.. and thankfully I get it cheap because I am disabled.. so there is a blessing..
gotta count my blessings.. I sent a message to family and friends sharing my heart.. but only online friends replied though my parents have been helping.. I know my sister is going through her own marriage probs so I understand she is not in a good place to reply..
People turn away... well my marriage has had problems for many many years.. up and down.. up and down.. many many prayers.. heaps of messages on CF over the years.. yes you could search if you do not believe me.. it has almost destroyed me.. but slowly healing and finding myself again.. hard because we have children too.. and I prayed and prayed and prayed for this man.. I will not stop praying for his salvation.. I just cannot mentally hold on.. and I have held on and on and on.. it saddens me when people say.. just keep believing.. do not let go.. well that would be humanly impossible.. but I trust GOD and still even now believe for healing.. restoration and all.. I just have to let go but to HIM... letting go and letting GOD.. this will not be about me saving it.. but GOD saving it or moving me on.. and I praise HIM for the very very very close and wonderful intimate relationship I have with HIM through all this.. I have also helped many people along the way and that blesses me and keeps me hoping for whatever GOD has in store for me.. encouraging others because GOD has so wonderfully helped me through and I have had lots of encouragement too..
I do not want to burden people.. but I do need to release what I am feeling as I go through this.. hence this post..
I had to come back and add.. I do love my husband very much no matter the things that have happened... I completely forgive him for hurts done to me.. And I will no matter what never stop praying for him and blessing him..
NOT what I wanted.. but every message... scripture.. sign right now is that this is the way I must walk.. but never alone.. I have done counselling.. talked alot to my husband and am willing to do whatever it takes.. but he is not wanting to return.. walked out over 20 months ago.. not wanting the commitment at all to me.. he is not a believer either..
I have done all I can... physically.. mentally and spiritually.. GOD has this.. I have cast my cares to HIM.. this is the way I am led.. I have peace.. though still sad and strange.. and painful..
Can talk to my parents.. but too many have thier own problems.. and no one else around except a few very special friends.. you mention divorce and people just kinda stop talking..
My parents are helping.. make phone calls as I am hearing impaired.. my counsellor knows of course.. it will take months apparently till it is final.. and thankfully I get it cheap because I am disabled.. so there is a blessing..
gotta count my blessings.. I sent a message to family and friends sharing my heart.. but only online friends replied though my parents have been helping.. I know my sister is going through her own marriage probs so I understand she is not in a good place to reply..People turn away... well my marriage has had problems for many many years.. up and down.. up and down.. many many prayers.. heaps of messages on CF over the years.. yes you could search if you do not believe me.. it has almost destroyed me.. but slowly healing and finding myself again.. hard because we have children too.. and I prayed and prayed and prayed for this man.. I will not stop praying for his salvation.. I just cannot mentally hold on.. and I have held on and on and on.. it saddens me when people say.. just keep believing.. do not let go.. well that would be humanly impossible.. but I trust GOD and still even now believe for healing.. restoration and all.. I just have to let go but to HIM... letting go and letting GOD.. this will not be about me saving it.. but GOD saving it or moving me on.. and I praise HIM for the very very very close and wonderful intimate relationship I have with HIM through all this.. I have also helped many people along the way and that blesses me and keeps me hoping for whatever GOD has in store for me.. encouraging others because GOD has so wonderfully helped me through and I have had lots of encouragement too..
I do not want to burden people.. but I do need to release what I am feeling as I go through this.. hence this post..
I had to come back and add.. I do love my husband very much no matter the things that have happened... I completely forgive him for hurts done to me.. And I will no matter what never stop praying for him and blessing him..
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