Life has always been too overwhelming for me. I hid it as best I could from people all my life. But there is something missing, something wrong with me. I can't handle the realities of life. And now they (those realities) are coming down on top of me like an avalanche and there's nothing I can do about and no one to turn to for help. I just shut down inside, pull back and am unable to take action. Asking for help in this world is a joke. Even christians are harsh and critical when you show weakness. And the world is downright cruel and viscious; they'll rip you to shreds if they smell blood. If I could, I'd just end my life, but then that would just bring eternal punishment. So I have no choice but to keep going, even if it's just doing the minimal amount that I can do to get by.
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*T* Nowhere to turn
- Thread starter hurtnlonely
- Start date
It doesn't matter. I've been completely alone all of my life. Nothing I've done has been able to change that. It's not as though I didn't spend most of my life trying. Don't know why I even bother to keep trying to reach out. No one cares. Maybe I'm in the Twilight Zone. . . I'm invisible and no one can see me, and I just don't know it.
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And it's not like I'm feeling sorry for myself or want anyone's pity. Heck, I never even was able to show this weakness, or defect, or whatever it is, to anyone. When I finally started trying, it was like I was from a different planet and no one could understand what I was saying. They would only reject me all the more, or misunderstand my feeble efforts at trying to communicate what can't be communicated. If my eternity will be like this life, then it will truly be HELL.
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Even now, I am speaking to no one. No one is listening. And even if someone is, they can't help. Or won't. What good are words?
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
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Ariel
Servant
Hello hurtnlonely,
It's true that some Christians are hard and critical when they see another person's weakness, but not every Christian is this way. When I was ill I met both kinds. Some people condemned me--but others helped me in so many ways. I will always be grateful. As for those who hurt me--I choose to forgive them. I realize that often their ignorance and fear kept them from reaching out to me and trying to understand.
I am sorry for all you've gone through. Life is not easy, there are times when we go through extended trials, and sometimes it feels like we are absolutely alone. But God said that He would never leave us or forsake us, Heb. 13:5. So in this way at least we are never alone.
God loves you. He hasn't left you. You haven't lost your salvation, and you are not going to hell. Draw strength from the fact that you are a child of God, His beloved daughter, and He loves you with an everlasting love.
As for the present problems--even in this you can find your God. Call out to Him. He says that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved, Romans 10:13. Take your Bible and read. There are so many promises, and many of them are for you. The Lord is your Shepherd, Psalm 23. You don't have to be afraid, Is. 41:10; Psalm 27. The Lord is your hiding place, He will protect you and guide you, Psalm 32:7-8. See also Psalm 91--look at all the promises for protection and ultimate salvation.
Also, find those Christians who have a heart to help others. Many of them have been hurt themselves--and some of them are here in this forum. Reach out to them in love--they will love you back.
We are all challenged, therefore we learn to hold hands and help each other. I believe that if at least one of us is holding onto God, then all of us can be helped. Here is my hand.
Be blessed,
Ariel
It's true that some Christians are hard and critical when they see another person's weakness, but not every Christian is this way. When I was ill I met both kinds. Some people condemned me--but others helped me in so many ways. I will always be grateful. As for those who hurt me--I choose to forgive them. I realize that often their ignorance and fear kept them from reaching out to me and trying to understand.
I am sorry for all you've gone through. Life is not easy, there are times when we go through extended trials, and sometimes it feels like we are absolutely alone. But God said that He would never leave us or forsake us, Heb. 13:5. So in this way at least we are never alone.
God loves you. He hasn't left you. You haven't lost your salvation, and you are not going to hell. Draw strength from the fact that you are a child of God, His beloved daughter, and He loves you with an everlasting love.
As for the present problems--even in this you can find your God. Call out to Him. He says that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved, Romans 10:13. Take your Bible and read. There are so many promises, and many of them are for you. The Lord is your Shepherd, Psalm 23. You don't have to be afraid, Is. 41:10; Psalm 27. The Lord is your hiding place, He will protect you and guide you, Psalm 32:7-8. See also Psalm 91--look at all the promises for protection and ultimate salvation.
Also, find those Christians who have a heart to help others. Many of them have been hurt themselves--and some of them are here in this forum. Reach out to them in love--they will love you back.
We are all challenged, therefore we learn to hold hands and help each other. I believe that if at least one of us is holding onto God, then all of us can be helped. Here is my hand.
Be blessed,
Ariel
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LovebirdsFlying
My husband drew this cartoon of me.
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Hurtnlonely, I just want to say that I've felt the way you said you feel. I've posted things, gotten no response, and wondered if people cared. Sometimes on these forums it can take several days to get a reply. I wish it were more active than that, but that's the way it is.
I would suggest not relying on any message board to cope with a crisis. It's going to be too slow, when you need an immediate response. If you need help right away, it would be better to call a crisis center. These forums are wonderful when the immediate danger is over and you need help maintaining, rather than improving, your state of mind. I guess it's kind of like a rehab center as opposed to an ER.
You're right about some Christians being harsh and judgmental when you show weakness. I really get judged for having been divorced and remarried. Or for having a depressive illness, which some claim I wouldn't have if I were "really saved." My response to those who criticize is that I'm glad God is my judge, and they are not.
I would suggest not relying on any message board to cope with a crisis. It's going to be too slow, when you need an immediate response. If you need help right away, it would be better to call a crisis center. These forums are wonderful when the immediate danger is over and you need help maintaining, rather than improving, your state of mind. I guess it's kind of like a rehab center as opposed to an ER.
You're right about some Christians being harsh and judgmental when you show weakness. I really get judged for having been divorced and remarried. Or for having a depressive illness, which some claim I wouldn't have if I were "really saved." My response to those who criticize is that I'm glad God is my judge, and they are not.
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Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. Emotionally I'm doing much better since I wrote last. Sometimes it gets very hard when you are alone in this world and feel incapable of taking care of yourself. Sometimes I get angry at the world in general because of the cold-heartedness and cruelty I encounter when I reach out in desperation. And because I am cut off, unable to have meaningful relationships, I really have no one.
I bounce back and cope the best I can. I guess sometimes my hormones take me down lower than normal and it's just too much for me. Anyway, there's way too many "I's" in this. Don't mean to be self-centered. It's just awfully hard for me to reach out and ask for help. Don't seem to be the kind of person that other's tend to respond to lovingly and compassionately. Sometimes it just really gets to me and makes me mad. But then I get over it and keep on trudging along the best I can.
To everyone who wrote, thank you.
I bounce back and cope the best I can. I guess sometimes my hormones take me down lower than normal and it's just too much for me. Anyway, there's way too many "I's" in this. Don't mean to be self-centered. It's just awfully hard for me to reach out and ask for help. Don't seem to be the kind of person that other's tend to respond to lovingly and compassionately. Sometimes it just really gets to me and makes me mad. But then I get over it and keep on trudging along the best I can.
To everyone who wrote, thank you.
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LovebirdsFlying
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It's OK to be self-centered sometimes. When you're hurting, you have to take care of yourself. Because if you don't, you won't be any good for anybody else. It would be like running around driving everybody everywhere, and not stopping when necessary to get gas and do general maintenance. If you let the car run down, you can't continue to provide service for others, can you? It isn't really selfish, then, to say "No, not right now. I have to get gas and fix my car." The people who wouldn't expect you to take care of yourself first, when you need to--"Hey, no fair, you're putting gas in your own car and not thinking of me!"--they're the ones who are really being selfish and unreasonable.
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Good companionship, a sympathetic caring heart, some wise insights and people who will give you time are keys in turning that sort of negativity around. But the foundation of any change is you believing what God believes about you. He is totally positive and supportive of you, but I suspect you aren't too sure about that?
John
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John
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kat
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hi,i have had years of people in church trying to help me and being hard on me and counselor after counselor helping me somewhat but like everyone had a deaf ear and couldn't hear how deep it was - the help I needed - and even in hospitals I tried to get help and the psychiatrist -since I was good at acting like I was fine - released me... In saying all this, I learned God is the only faithful & understanding one to trust completely. I hung on to promises in His word to keep me going... I had to be real with Him and let Him speak to me personally and cling to that... and some people He can bring into your life at the right time, not all people are insensitive, nonunderstanding... I just about fell over when I saw Ariel's post on PTSD and someone that actually understood and there was help and a lot for me has been being willing to face the pain, to not try to be strong and hide it and when it hurts too much to process it push it back down...
this was all my issues anyway, Journaling has helped so much and allowing God to lead you to the help that will help.
i had always wanted to end my life too, and that is what kept me is i wanted to be able to be with Jesus and that would separate us.
And I believe there is just so much pain in this world sometimes when we keep going and going and hold onto the pain and not have a way to release it, our mind gets more negative... I have an imbalance and If I don't take my zoloft I get way negative and irrational thinking...
Some people are well meaning and will say things that make you feel more misunderstood too... I learned to recognize them and maintain a good boundary...
I trust Ariel with all my heart and know there are good people that do understand and just this week I felt impressed to go to this counselor and it was divine intervention - he totally understands and relies on Jesus for the healing... I always tried to fix myself.. and it doesn't go very far... its hard sometimes to let go and let God...
I hope this helps you not feel alone...
a lot of people here care,His Lil Lamb
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MoeSzyslak
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HurtandLonely,
I've been exactly where you are. The taking of the life thing, but afraid due to eternal damnation. (who says a little fear of God isn't a good thing.) I even debated living real risky so perhaps I would die in an accident, but then it wouldn't be my fault. Or would it, God judges the heart of men.
You need to take care of yourself first. Don't ever think it is self centered. It is not self centered. I once heard a great sermon that was along the lines of "how can you tell others about Gods love for them, if you don't feel that love yourself." Take care of yourself.
I'm glad to hear your feeling better.
If per chance you live the KC area, we have some great ministries in our church to reach out to hurting people. Is there a celebrate recovery in your area? Some are better then others. (wait, they are all good. Some may associate with you personally better.)
I've been exactly where you are. The taking of the life thing, but afraid due to eternal damnation. (who says a little fear of God isn't a good thing.) I even debated living real risky so perhaps I would die in an accident, but then it wouldn't be my fault. Or would it, God judges the heart of men.
You need to take care of yourself first. Don't ever think it is self centered. It is not self centered. I once heard a great sermon that was along the lines of "how can you tell others about Gods love for them, if you don't feel that love yourself." Take care of yourself.
I'm glad to hear your feeling better.
If per chance you live the KC area, we have some great ministries in our church to reach out to hurting people. Is there a celebrate recovery in your area? Some are better then others. (wait, they are all good. Some may associate with you personally better.)
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onebit
Regular Member
Hi there...
I too am hurt and lonely... but hey I want to share... for one you are not alone. The biggest thing you have got to realize is that you need mercy and truth. Mercy for the things you cannot deal with and truth to start you off in the right direction. The bible says that mercy and truth purge iniquity. I have come to the place through Jesus' patience with me and at time direct concern... He showed me that rather than placing blame on a cruel world that I need to get the beam out of my own eye and start looking at my own sin and come to God to heal me so that I can effectively walk in power against the forces of darkness. Jesus has been showing me the romance he has with the weak through his words in the Bible. He came to comfort us and console us but not leave us in that condition. No he understands how others have hurt us, but he also directs our minds into truth to cut the chains of the lies that have kept us bond. We have need of his mercy and his truth in our own lives, because they are the only ones we can control. Start reading the Gospels. Jesus outlines positive things to those who were poor and afflicted. He also said that if you don't take heed to the words of truth and his mercy for speaking to you that the cruel winds of this world would blow down your house and know one is to blame but you. I know that sound stern. But God's love is often stern when we need to be prodded out of places we stay in that hurt us and others. Take his words seriously. Ask him to show you the power to forgive and bless those who have hurt you. That is power over the devil. God can and will make you stand and walk you through the Valley of Death and I promise you he will see you through. Take his hand...
I feel the Lord wanting you to prompted out of unbelief and despair which are blind folds of the enemy to keep you from seeing the salvation of God. Sometimes in our weakness we need a firm word to hear that we too can be healed and see newness of life. Sterness can be gently applied. Here the word of God...
Isa 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Fear NOT! God is with you. Now wait. I didn't say check your senses to see if it's true. HIS WORD is true. Be not bewildered. God has waited 48 years for you to come to him and say MASTER I am weak, but I heard you love the weak by someone who is weak. Trust me I am weak. But he loves us. His power can be made perfect in our weakness. Why? Not because He loves to see us suffer. But because God created us to walk one with him, completely supplied by him. It is only the lies we believe that keep us from the abundance he has promised. Take firm hold of God's hand and let him lead you through the obstacles. Honey I know it's tough... But Jesus said you will overcome. He said be of Good Cheer I have overcome the world and now I want to do that in you and through you by MY POWER.
Joh 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Where is the Supply?
Phi 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Do you want the true riches of Heaven? The Glory of the Lord? If you have received Christ, then the riches of Eden are inside... Christ planted every tree for Adam and Eve. Now we can be led of the Holy Spirit in fellowship with God and eat of the Trees of the Spirit...
Gen 1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
Most people think that they don't have a Garden. But Sweety Jesus paid the price for all your sins and for the healing of all curses so that you could be restored to walk with him in heavenly places on the inside with Christ.
Here is his supply:
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
He has planted that Garden. You are rich on the inside if you have received the baptism of the Holy Spirit into Christ.
It is time to stop looking at the barren land outside, and seek God inside and ask him to show you the Garden. Then you can start sharing after you are full of the fruits of joy, gentleness, faith, peace, and self control. These are healing fruits. Take a stroll with him in the Garden of the new mind in Christ. Then take those seeds and start planting new thoughts from the hope of the time spent in the Garden with Jesus. Plant faith into the world around. Patiently watch it grow. Find others who stroll in the Garden and share with them and the Lord. Grow stronger and plant some more. You were created to be a help to man in the Garden. Help Jesus multiply his love in the earth for his harvest. Start with spending time with him today.
Much love and hope for you in Christ,
Your brother!
P.S. PM me and I will check in with you in the future should God give me that opportunity. If you have questions, don't be afraid to ask. His gentleness made David mighty, and will make you mighty too. God has a romance with the weak, he has an obsession to heal the broken, when are willing to allow him to mend.
I too am hurt and lonely... but hey I want to share... for one you are not alone. The biggest thing you have got to realize is that you need mercy and truth. Mercy for the things you cannot deal with and truth to start you off in the right direction. The bible says that mercy and truth purge iniquity. I have come to the place through Jesus' patience with me and at time direct concern... He showed me that rather than placing blame on a cruel world that I need to get the beam out of my own eye and start looking at my own sin and come to God to heal me so that I can effectively walk in power against the forces of darkness. Jesus has been showing me the romance he has with the weak through his words in the Bible. He came to comfort us and console us but not leave us in that condition. No he understands how others have hurt us, but he also directs our minds into truth to cut the chains of the lies that have kept us bond. We have need of his mercy and his truth in our own lives, because they are the only ones we can control. Start reading the Gospels. Jesus outlines positive things to those who were poor and afflicted. He also said that if you don't take heed to the words of truth and his mercy for speaking to you that the cruel winds of this world would blow down your house and know one is to blame but you. I know that sound stern. But God's love is often stern when we need to be prodded out of places we stay in that hurt us and others. Take his words seriously. Ask him to show you the power to forgive and bless those who have hurt you. That is power over the devil. God can and will make you stand and walk you through the Valley of Death and I promise you he will see you through. Take his hand...
I feel the Lord wanting you to prompted out of unbelief and despair which are blind folds of the enemy to keep you from seeing the salvation of God. Sometimes in our weakness we need a firm word to hear that we too can be healed and see newness of life. Sterness can be gently applied. Here the word of God...
Isa 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Fear NOT! God is with you. Now wait. I didn't say check your senses to see if it's true. HIS WORD is true. Be not bewildered. God has waited 48 years for you to come to him and say MASTER I am weak, but I heard you love the weak by someone who is weak. Trust me I am weak. But he loves us. His power can be made perfect in our weakness. Why? Not because He loves to see us suffer. But because God created us to walk one with him, completely supplied by him. It is only the lies we believe that keep us from the abundance he has promised. Take firm hold of God's hand and let him lead you through the obstacles. Honey I know it's tough... But Jesus said you will overcome. He said be of Good Cheer I have overcome the world and now I want to do that in you and through you by MY POWER.
Joh 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Where is the Supply?
Phi 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Do you want the true riches of Heaven? The Glory of the Lord? If you have received Christ, then the riches of Eden are inside... Christ planted every tree for Adam and Eve. Now we can be led of the Holy Spirit in fellowship with God and eat of the Trees of the Spirit...
Gen 1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
Most people think that they don't have a Garden. But Sweety Jesus paid the price for all your sins and for the healing of all curses so that you could be restored to walk with him in heavenly places on the inside with Christ.
Here is his supply:
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
He has planted that Garden. You are rich on the inside if you have received the baptism of the Holy Spirit into Christ.
It is time to stop looking at the barren land outside, and seek God inside and ask him to show you the Garden. Then you can start sharing after you are full of the fruits of joy, gentleness, faith, peace, and self control. These are healing fruits. Take a stroll with him in the Garden of the new mind in Christ. Then take those seeds and start planting new thoughts from the hope of the time spent in the Garden with Jesus. Plant faith into the world around. Patiently watch it grow. Find others who stroll in the Garden and share with them and the Lord. Grow stronger and plant some more. You were created to be a help to man in the Garden. Help Jesus multiply his love in the earth for his harvest. Start with spending time with him today.
Much love and hope for you in Christ,
Your brother!
P.S. PM me and I will check in with you in the future should God give me that opportunity. If you have questions, don't be afraid to ask. His gentleness made David mighty, and will make you mighty too. God has a romance with the weak, he has an obsession to heal the broken, when are willing to allow him to mend.
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