Swearing

[Tangnefedd]

How do others handle it when their little darling let rip with a swear word? My two year old grandson was singing happily when I took him for a walk the other day. I wasn't paying too much attention until I realised that he was chanting a swear word beginning with 'B' over and over again. He probably had no idea that it was a swear word, and having heard it on TV probably liked the sound of it! I thought it best to distract him with another word. There was no point in telling him that the word was unpleasant as that would have enouraged him to say it all the more! I wrote this article on the subject a while back.

Quozzicles​

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A mother asked advice on an Internet message forum after her angelic, two-year-old son came home from his day nursery and uttered an unpleasant swear word. Realising that it was causing consternation, he proceeded to use the word at every conceivable opportunity, delighting both in the sound and the resulting effect on his audience.​

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Many parents experience a ‘Beam me up Scottie’ moment when, in a quiet part of the church service, or when an elderly, intensely shockable aunt is taking tea, a fearful word is enunciated with utmost clarity! The usual advice is to try to ignore this behaviour, and at the same time distract the child with another more pleasurable activity.​

My suggestion is, that if all else fails, and on the basis of if you can’t beat them, join them, you need to find an even better made up word that would give the child freedom of expression!​

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‘QUOZZICLES’ has a nice ring to it. Let the child hear you saying it, when you have broken something, for instance. Look shame-faced and imply that ‘quozzicles’ is not quite nice. The chances are that the little darling will latch on to ‘quozzicles’ with gusto and forget the unpleasant swear word.​

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This is just another little incident on the assault course that is parenting. ​

 

[pmcleanj]

I wrote this article on the subject a while back.

Quozzicles​

My suggestion is, that if all else fails, and on the basis of if you can’t beat them, join them, you need to find an even better made up word that would give the child freedom of expression!​

‘QUOZZICLES’ has a nice ring to it. ​

That is brilliant!

Vulgarities don't bother me. Being both ex-army and an engineer, I can use profanities with the best of them. In those fields, it's a valuable skillset. But I made a commitment not to swear "in mixed company" (that means around non-military non-engineers) and especially not in the hearing of children. So I learned some time ago to shout "fiddlesticks" when I hit my thumb with the hammer, and my daughters both used it when they were smaller. Of course, engineers and soldiers laughed at me when I used that kind of "strong" language, but often they were more shocked by it than the ordinary profanity that they wouldn't have noticed.

Even though I do use profanity myself, one thing I find personally offensive is blasphemy. People often use "Christ" and "God" as fairly mild swearwords -- even pre-teens and elementary children. That, I do find offensive. When anyone, from colleagues to children, uses such words in my house I simply mention that it's unacceptable. If it's my children, I ask them to recite the ten commandments, and point out that we don't steal and murder, and we don't take the Lord's name in vain. When they use profanity they've picked up in the schoolyard, I say in the same mild tone "that's rather strong language. Please don't use it where it might be overheard by anyone who could be offended". That lets them know that I'm not shocked, but that *they* have a responsibility to use all language appropriately.

Actually, I have more trouble right now suppressing a certain pre-teen's contemptuous "shut up!" to her younger sibs, than I have supressing the *other* "SH" word!

 

[HeatherJay]

Sorry girls, if my children say an ugly word I'm rather quick to inform them that it's not appropriate or acceptable, and I give them a word that IS appropriate. There's no punishment the first time it's said...especially if they're simply asking what it means, but I do quickly explain that it's not something that 'little ladies' say and that it can make people sad. Bad language is something that I won't tolerate from my children, especially when they're small. I don't cuss, except on the very, very rare occassion (when I stub my toe, something ugly might slip out), but I'm especially careful to never even do that around my kids. It's my job to set an example that they can follow as they get older. Even "Shut Up" is considered an ugly word in our house. I have yet to experience any type of rebellion from either of them concerning the use of ugly words. The thing I have the biggest problem right now with them saying is "You're not my friend anymore!" They say this to each other as a way of hurting the others feelings...I've never heard them say it to their actual friends. Oh well, we do what we can, I guess.

 

[Tangnefedd]

We all have our own ways of dealing with these things, but in my experience if you make an issue of swearing the kids do it all the more. Older children swear a lot when with their friends unfortunately, that is part of growing up, I guess most of us did it. I made it quite clear to my kids, as teenagers, that it was not acceptable at home or in polite society. Sometimes they forgot, which is natural, but apologised when they got a dirty look from me.

I do think though that one needs to save the opprobrium for the worst of the swear words, there are one or two minor ones that don't worry me too much. I don't consider 'shut up' to be an ugly word, I use it all the time, usually in a jokey way! If I had a £ for everytime my lot said they weren't friends anymore with someone I would be a very rich woman by now, LOL!!!!

 

[Melbelle]

My neice is 2 and her and I went to the store not to long ago and she looked out the window and said who the H... is that I was like Shaylee Micheal she said what sissy I said hunny we don't say them words that isn't nice, only trashy people talk like that and trash belongs in the garbage and she said ewww trash lol and she hadn't said since...

 

[Nikicarol]

I have 4 kids (11, 9, 5 & 3) and I have found that the best way to approach this is to set a good example, I mean it's no good telling them not to do something, when they are hearing stuff like that from their own parents. I don't swear and don't use God or Jesus or Christ as a swear word. My kids as a result are shocked when their friends use swear words, and they come and tell me if one of them says a bad word!

One time my 11 yr old daughter did say something, it wasn't too bad, but I decided to be quite strict with her about it, I told her I won't allow those kinds of words.

It really makes me so sad to hear other kids swearing, even little 4 yr olds, I have heard saying really bad swear words. The fact of the matter is, there is no need for it!

love - Nicky