super sensitive concsience or something else??

[Roos]

I have been a christian for about 25 years and I have had many struggles. I sometimes feel easily condemned when I read the bible. I have been told in the past that I am too analytical and too scrupulous. Even when I was a teenager I would feel depressed and not be sure if I was sinning or not and would easily feel condemned and that my salvation was in jeapardy. Once the priest at the church I attended at the time even told me not to read the bible by myself because I would be too confused. I read the bible almost daily now and for the last couple of months I am having reoccurring feelings of condemnation. I often feel that when there is a dillema in my life I absolutely have to make the right decision. Sometimes I am easily weak just hearing christians opinions that seem to be different then mine. (ie) reading this board. I read debates among christians and one will say something that I believe is right and another will say an oppossing point and then I find myself thinking am I sinning or do I have a hypersensitve conscience??? And yes I have prayed very much on this but still go through it often and it drives me to depression. Have any of you been through this ?? Please help.

 

[Johnnz]

Hi,

A couple of comments

You seem to have a prertty negative veiw of God - the Taskmaster, the Judge, someone always on the lookout for faults. Youneed to bettre understand the love of God. Phillip Yancey's book 'What's so Amazing About Grace" moght be helpful.

Due to family background some people become oversenstive to faults, real and apparent, or lack inner security. This can bring about a negative stance towards God, as well as many other things about life.

John
NZ

 

[lovesong]

Hi Roos,

I'll tell you what. You're not the only one who has had these kinds of thoughts. In reading the scriptures, you ought to take a look in Romans. Paul was a messenger of God, and yet he also dealt with these kinds of thoughts ..

Romans 7: 15 - 25

" I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I dont' do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. (16) I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree that the law is good. ( 17 ) But I can't help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things. ( 18 ) I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't. ( 19 ) When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. ( 20 ) But if I am doing what I don't want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it.

(21 ) It seems a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong, ( 22 ) I love the Lord with all my heart. ( 23 ) But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ( 24 ) Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? ( death )

( 25 ) Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is; In my mind I really want to bey God's law, but because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin."

Now check this out ..

Romans 8 : 1 says, "There is now no condemnation for those who belong to Christ.

I don't believe that Paul was being hypersensitive at all. Read completely through chapter 8. Here lies the truth .. and I pray the truth will set you free.

May the Lord grant you peace.

 

[HumbleBee]

Roos,

Sounds like you need the baptism of the Holy Spirit who will guide you into all Truth. You seem to be depending too much on your own understanding and works, hence your instability. Your salvation is thankfullllllllllllllllllly based on what Christ already did on the Cross of Calvary! (Ephesians 2:8) His grace is sufficient for you! (2 Corinthians 12:9) God is not the God of confusion, but of peace. However, the enemy can certainly mess up more, a wounded person. God will surely bind up your wounds, so that you will enjoy being a Christian! Another verse in Romans 8 promises that the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace! Also in Isaiah 26:3-4 As you keep your mind stayed on Christ and He will keep you in perfect peace!

 

[ExtremeDays]

Hi,

Hmm a hypersensitive conscious... The Bible talks about having a dull conscience or seared but what you're mentioning sounds like something else. It kind of sounds like your conscience along with God's word is trying to tell you some things, but the problem may be with how you take that.If the Holy Spirit is trying to show you something about yourself/your life, the question is, how do you feel about that? How do you respond to it?

I agree with someone here who wrote about understanding more how much God loves us, but the thing isn't because God loves us He never points out anything wrong.When God/the Holy Spirit points things out, brings things to our attention, it isn't because He doesn't love us or is out to get us or make our lives harder, it is out of love.

It is because He loves us that he shows us sins or problem areas, so that we can grow, for our own good. It's like parents feeding their kids vegetables, because it's better for them than sweets all the time. I know kids who have grown up on healthy food don't have much of a taste or craving for junk food. They come to appreciate and even like healthy food.

You shouldn't be afraid of God dealing with you through your conscience or the Word, but then you need to give those things to God (in prayer)and then trust/believe that God will do the work in you, that He will transform you into those things He wants you to be, as you yield to Him.

Along the lines of what someone else was mentioning, maybe because of some past things/relationships in your life, it seems you are not comfortable with yourself. By this I mean, not long ago I heard a preacher make a good point: the Israelites failed to enter the promised land, not because they didn't believe God existed and was able, but because they didn't believe God was with them. Joshua and Caleb had faith that God was with them and therefore they could overcome their enemies. They could overcome the giants in the land because God was with them and for them!

You can't understand what God is telling you, by others convictions/consciences. You read the word for yourself, and let the Holy Spirit guide you. If you have fruit in your life showing salvation, that you have been born again, then have faith in Christ in you. Follow what God is telling you, even if there are others who don't have the same convictions as you. Either one day those other people will come into the truth (if they are saved) or God will guide you into it (without you worrying about it) or some issues are just individual like what church to go to, what ministry you are called to etc.. You can come to a place in your walk with God where you believe you can be led by God, believe what He is speaking to your own heart and be at peace with and stand on it- irregardless of what whoever else believes or says.

When you stand before God at the end, He isn't going to ask you if you followed someone else's convictions.

There can be someone who is doing fine in the Lord involved in teaching, singing in the choir at church, but deep down they are troubled because they sense God is calling them to the mission field but they aren't yielding. They are personally convicted about this, but no one else can see or understand it- it is for them. God will hold them accountable for following what He told them, irregardless if everyone else told them they were doing great.

"To him who knows to do good and doesn't do it, to him it is sin."

"If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us, but if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

hope something mentioned helps in some way

 

[HumbleBee]

Roos, may this minister to you...

click to hear music...
http://www.rockymountsdachurch.org/song_blessedassurance.htm

Blessed Assurance, Jesus Is Mine


-1-

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

-Refrain-

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

-2-

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

-Refrain-

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

-3-

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

-Refrain-

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

 

[UnitynLove]

Do you have joy in your life every single day? This is God's will for you...and He has provided the keys that will bring happiness, contentment, and joy regardless of your circumstances.

Are you convinced that your particular circumstances make happiness and enjoyment impossible for you? Well, it is not true! The keys that God offers you are designed to open the doors that you may have thought were forever locked.

Learning to be happy with yourself is a very important key to enjoying your life. If you know that God wants you to enjoy life, why does it sometimes seem impossible? Could it be that you are unhappy with yourself because you're not perfect? God doesn't require us to be perfect—He made us and He knows we are human and will make mistakes. Our job is to get up every day and do our best to use the keys He has provided for us. And when we fail, we must get right with God, receive His forgiveness, and go on. We need to quit being so hard on ourselves and enjoy our lives right where we are.

Many people feel that God can't use them because they are not perfect—but this is a lie. God (the Potter) uses cracked pots (that's us) to do His work. As Christians, we are containers that God wants to fill with His goodness and light. Then we are to carry that goodness and light to a dark world, sharing it with people everywhere we go. Don't be afraid of your flaws—acknowledge them and allow God to use you anyway. Quit worrying about what you're not and give God what you are.

I once read a story that beautifully illustrates the value of cracked pots...

A water bearer in India had two large pots hanging at the ends of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The other pot had a crack in it, and by the time it reached its destination, it was only half full. Every day for two years the water bearer delivered only one and one-half pots of water to the master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments—perfect to the end for which it was made. The poor little cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and miserable that it could accomplish only half of what it had been designed to do. After two years of what the imperfect pot perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer and said, "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer, "What are you ashamed of?"

"Well, for these past two years, I have been able to deliver only half a load of water each day because this crack in my side allows water to leak out all the way back to the master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work without getting the full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot and, in his compassion, he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot noticed the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because half of its load had leaked out once again.

Then the bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path and not on the other pot's side? That's because I've always known about your flaw and took advantage of it by planting flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day as we walked back from the stream, you watered those seeds and for two years I have picked these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just what you are, he would not have had this beauty to grace his house." Like that cracked pot, you too can accomplish wonderful things. You can make somebody happy. You can encourage, edify, and exhort those around you. You can use your gifts and talents to serve God. And as a bonus, you will learn to enjoy every day of your life.

 

[homewardbound]

Having a sensitive conscience isn't a bad thing, but make sure that what you think is a sensitive conscience isn't actually some long-standing feelings of guilt and shame. Those are tough shackles to break and remember that satan will always attack at your weakest point. Since you read the bible, I would encourage you to read the entire message because while God is warning us of the nature and dangers of sin, there is a more important message -- that his love for us is boundless and eternal and the proof is in the cross.

Think of it this way...God will never love you any more than he does right this second. Stay focused on the hope God gives us in Jesus Christ.

 

[Roos]

Thanks all for your help. I am still struggling and don't see an end in sight. I will keep praying. I have had this off and on for many years. I have been fortunate for the last 10 years to be pretty solid in my thinking. But now I am a mess again and trying to get through it. I continue to pray. Much of what has been said is helpful but I still lack clarity in my thinking. Often in my struggles and hard decisions I wish I knew exactly what God wanted me to do. Either way if it was a hard road or an easier road I would take my lumps irregardless of any suffering. I just wish I knew his exact will in all my life situations, that way in struggle or in ease I would be at peace knowing I am doing his will.

 

[homewardbound]

Thanks all for your help. I am still struggling and don't see an end in sight. I will keep praying. I have had this off and on for many years. I have been fortunate for the last 10 years to be pretty solid in my thinking. But now I am a mess again and trying to get through it. I continue to pray. Much of what has been said is helpful but I still lack clarity in my thinking. Often in my struggles and hard decisions I wish I knew exactly what God wanted me to do. Either way if it was a hard road or an easier road I would take my lumps irregardless of any suffering. I just wish I knew his exact will in all my life situations, that way in struggle or in ease I would be at peace knowing I am doing his will.

Many of us struggle with decision making, but it's particularly difficult if you allow fears to play too big a role in your thinking. Remember that doubt and confusion are two of satan's favorite weapons.

Knowing God's will is a matter of trusting that he'll reveal it to you. It will probably be via small revelations...maybe a single bible verse that suddenly jumps out at you, or timely advice from a trusted friend. Don't look for him to give you a roadmap. Instead, rely on the knowledge that he's not going to lead you someplace you don't belong.