Sunday Bulletin Jokes

[geocajun]

This joke was in my Sunday Bulletin and it cracked my up so I thought I would share it

Feel free to post any jokes form your Sunday bulletin here as well

SMILE - Seniors
A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments....
- "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cut of coffee" said one.
- "Yes I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my cofee."
- "I couldn't even mark an "X" at the election time, my hands are so crippled" volunteered a third.
- "What? Speak up! I can't hear you!"
- "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
- "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.
- "I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.
- "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
- The others nodded in agreement.

Well, "Count your blessings" said a women cheerfully
"and thank God we can all still drive."

 

[Miss Shelby]

LOL!

 

[ukok]

*chuckle*

 

[Benedicta00]

Cute.

 

[Acceptance]

Thats hilarious!!!!

 

[Sleepy Jean]

I heard one at a few weeks ago during the homily at a weekly Mass...

A school class had come into church for daily Mass with, their teacher, a nun. She seated the children in the first few front pews, and took a seat herself at the end of the last. Mass was started, and proceeded to the Homily which was very long. It went on and on, and the kids were starting to get restless. One kid in the front row started to chat amongst his classmates. The nun whispered to a boy beside her, "Go tell him to stop talking." Nodding, the boy go up from his seat and walked forward... all the way to the front of the congregation where the preist was speaking, and told him, "Sister said stop talking."

 

[geocajun]

hahha! Good one Jean!

 

[ukok]

I heard one at a few weeks ago during the homily at a weekly Mass...

A school class had come into church for daily Mass with, their teacher, a nun. She seated the children in the first few front pews, and took a seat herself at the end of the last. Mass was started, and proceeded to the Homily which was very long. It went on and on, and the kids were starting to get restless. One kid in the front row started to chat amongst his classmates. The nun whispered to a boy beside her, "Go tell him to stop talking." Nodding, the boy go up from his seat and walked forward... all the way to the front of the congregation where the preist was speaking, and told him, "Sister said stop talking."

hilarious! thanks for making me laugh out loud ~ i needed that~ wonderful stuff!

 

[Kotton]

...all the way to the front of the congregation where the priest was speaking, and told him, "Sister said stop talking."

This brings to mind a true story along similar lines, told by a nun (I believe she was then my teacher). Father Al D. was known for talking too long in his sermons, and he recognized it. He asked Sister to time him and as she was in the choir, to stand when he had reached the length he specified. The time came, but since he was going strong, she delayed another five minutes before standing. He stopped in mid-sentence and said, "Sister says it's time."

This was the priest that baptised me. By the time I was old enough to know him, he was a Monsignor and chaplain to the local convent.

Kotton