suffering frm weight issues :(

[sys212]

hi guyz, i really want ur advice n thoughts on my story. becoz i still dont no why i went thru this painful process. im kinda sufferin frm weight issues rite nw, bt i sure am gettin better

well, it all started last yr, when i was a sophomore.

First, traveling far back in time, i hav never been overweight.
in fact i was really slim but then when i was at my last year in high school, i gained 5kg and i saw myself as plumpy all of a sudden (i was actually average) and then i started my first ever intensive diet. had rice for breakfast and lunch(about half a bowl) and fruit for dinner. exercised hardout for at least an hr. at first, i wasnt sensitive on my weight and took it slowly, and then when i've lost 5kg (back to being slim), i started to go very sensitive about my weight. whenever i ate sth, i kept on thinking in my head, "this will make me fat," and i got so stressed out.

Then i went on to uni. my uni is like 5 hrs away from hm by bus, and almost everyone lives in the dormitory. When i was a freshman, i was envied by everyone else, becoz i was very harsh on myself and i controlled myself very well. i got all A+s in my subjects, i was liked by all the professors, i also had a lot of friends becoz of my outgoing personality, and people thought i was fashionable and most importantly i was skinny and i was a devoted christian as well.

then suddenly all of the things went kinda in a wrong way. for example, whenever i was at chapel trying to worship the Lord, all my focus was onto my body. I kept on thining "i had dinner too much. im gonna get fat." i felt so uncomfortable becoz i was not able to digest food well, and even my period had been stopped for over 6 months. Seriously, in weekends, when i had a big breakfast, i was not able to digest all day. it was painful. and all my focus onto God was going the wrong way. i couldnt pay attentions to God at all, i couldnt worship him wholeheartedly...but i didnt realize this at all. at the same time, i think i was becoming more and more full of pride becoz i thought i was perfect. everyone envied me , and i believed i could do anything that i had decided to do.





Like that, i started onto my sophomore yr. but suddenly, i dnt even no when it started really..., i kept eating and eating. i ate too much that i gained weight. and i started to hate looking at myself in the mirror. even though my friends told me that i was still skinny, i was sensitive about gaining even 1kg. i told myself to be on a diet, but i failed and failed. Failure was repeated for several time, and i started to blame and hate myself for nt being able to lose weight! so i blamed myself, and got stressed that i ate. i ate and slept, ate and slept, i did this repeatedly. it was like a pattern - i fail to resist food then i blame myself, and then get stressed that i eat. I failed all my exams and i was going a mess. Then i gained 15kg and i was ashamed of going out in public. i didnt wanna encounter people, i was afraid ppl would look at my body. i didnt wanna go out, or even meet ppl, or even go to lectures. i prayed to God everyday to help me lose weight, bt he didnt answer at all. i felt like i was talking to a wall, so i started blaming God too. "God, u dont love me. u dont know how much it hurts me to gain weight and become fat. God , i pray but nothing changes. i go nuts over food when i look at it. i cant control myself. i wanna change but u dont respond." I thought about commiting a suicide too,,,

The most thing that made me suffer was...
that I hated myself for not being able to control myself any more. so i tortured myself, both physically and emotionally and spiritually.


so then i had to take a year off from uni, and im working now to earn my tuition fee now. it has been 6 months already, and i sure am getting better. but still havent succeeded in my diet. i still get stressed a lot about my weight, but i try to not get stressed about it. and i try to take it slow, but it is not easy. i try to love myself and see myself beautiful bt its not easy as well. the most thing that scares me is that i will never become what i used to be. i would never become the person i used to be.

but nw i know that God loves me no matter what. and i thnk thru this experiend, God is tryign to tell me sth. but i still am nt quite sure wot i have to pray for, and wot i have to change. i dunno what went wrong. but i really do want ur honest opinions plz.




sorry, this was a long story. hope it wasnt too boring and all messy...

 

[x.miranda.x]

I used to, and still kinda do obsess over what I eat. Thinking everything will make me fat and at one point it got really bad to where I basically wouldn't eat. Anyways, just eat healthy and get enough excercise... don't do anything crazy... just take care of your body, it's what God wants, is you to take care of it.

 

[sbbqb7n16]

This is a duplicate thread. But feel free to join the discussion at:

http://www.christianforums.com/t7470698/

 

[sungaunga]

Hey, don't stree too much. I know how hard it can be to control your eating in Korea. So much good food to eat I'm amazed not everyone is overweight. I use P90X and lost a lot of pounds. It's not going to be easy. But you'll see guaranteed results in 90 days. You need to follow it's nutrition guide as well and make sure you check your caloric intake.

An Nyong~

 

[sb81]

Hello, first I must say I am not too sure on the actual story as far as how much your weight has shifted and if you really had a weight problem. I wanted to offer my story which may or may not apply to you.

I was quite a bit overweight, but more importantly, I had high cholesterol and my doctor said if it got much higher, I would need to go on medicine. This was quite alarming to me as I was in my mid twenties. I changed my diet and exercise and had some success with diet and exercise... I would lose 10-15 pounds, then gain it back, then lose 20 pounds, gain it back, etc. This went on for well over a year.

After at least a year or so after my quest for weight loss began, I was praying more, going to church, studying God's word, etc and developing a more Christian disciplined life and had a breakthrough in my spirituality. During this same time period, my weight loss really took off, totaling 40-50 pounds in total, and now I have a normal cholesterol level. Perhaps it was merely coincidence, but I know what I believe, and give the glory and praise to God.

I don't know all the personal details, but I do know of many women who insist they need to lose weight when they appear to be perfectly healthy. I suggest not giving up and not beating yourself up so much and develop your Christian discipline through prayer and trust in Jesus Christ and stop over eating if your Doctor actually says you need to lose weight. And exercise will only help! When your body craves that extra food, turn your hunger to Jesus Christ through prayer and studying the Word of God.

Best of Luck and may God Bless You abundantly!

 

[Autumnleaf]

Don't stress at all. Just be happy and enjoy life.

 

[sys212]

Hey its actually really gr8 2 hear sb else's actual story (or should I say a testimony)! Ur story really did make me feel relaxed !
Hey gud news! I think I'm finally getting control over food and all. I don't no how, bt first of all, thanks to my family's big support! n I am starting to get the idea that no matter how hard i try, i cannot do it on my own becoz im such a weak human being. but trusting GOd to work the miracles thru me has helped me a lot during this journey. i no that this journey is going to be long n hard, bt im sure that i will make it thru it one day, and give all the glories to God! hehe

GOD BLESS !

 

[Aibrean]

Rice isn't exactly healthy (especially if you are eating white - Plain white rice has far less Vitamin E, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folacin, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron and over dozen other nutrients. Added to that, the dietary fiber contained in white rice is around a quarter of brown rice. Source - Brown rice vs white rice). If you want to be healthy, you need to eat healthy. Being skinny is not necessarily healthy. You can starve yourself and cause damage to your body.

I gained about 50 lbs as well. My cholesterol was at 230. My blood pressure was high. I got diagnosed insulin-resistant. My mind just clicked and I had a massive change in diet. I took out most fast food, red meats, refined grains (such as white rice, flour, etc), and high-carb foods. I eat fish and poultry, whole grains, watch my carbs and calories. Last time I went to the doctor I lost 15 lbs (in 6 months - which is healthy because if you lose it slowly you are less likely to gain it back). My LDL was 160 but now is at 135. Here I was thinking I needed to loose a lot more weight but my doctor said just 15 lbs more and I'll be at a healthy weight for my height. Just 5 more points for LDL and he'll be happy. Since I'm female he can't put me on cholesterol medicine because it can cause birth defects so I have to do it the old fashioned way. You can still enjoy food. You just need to watch what you are eating and portion sizes.

 

[heron]

insulin-resistant.

That's what hit me when you said rice and fruit. Some people get sensitive blood sugar, and can't handle carbs well at all. Picture how you feel when you are restless for eating -- does it almost feel like a drug dependency, that you might even get jitters or explode if you don't eat?

If so, it might have nothing to do with your self-restraint. Look up the symptoms of hypoglycemia. The ones listed there are extreme.

Try starting your day with protein only -- no orange juice, no rice, no toast.

If you want to try a whole day of balanced blood sugar, then gather nuts and berries. Nut butters, tofu, seaweed, vegetables, meats, other soy products, cheese. Oils and proteins will help stabilize, but sugars will throw it off. So limit your fruits to berries and an occasional melon (not sure why melon works but it does) or apricot. No juices or wines.

The other thing I want to bring up, is that restoring control in life can be a stronger force on this type of eating, than food. Look at the things that stress you -- are you desperate to have a stronger voice, more influence, and too many accomplishments met at once?

You are at an age where everything in life changes -- friends, locations, expectations, relationship with parents, the need to establish a respectable adult life. Pressure from family, pressure from teachers, and even more pressure from yourself.

One way you can start walking out of this, is to preach to yourself about how much brain activity you are spending on this obsession. Could you be doing better things with your time and thoughts... is perfection becoming your god... will you ever reach a point where you are happy with yourself.

Perfection doesn't usually bring friends closer. It tends to do the opposite. We strive to be acceptable, and the realize that the people around us don't really want us to appear better than them.

Take some time with your mind. Your will. Turn off the voices of criticism. Find a way that you can bring yourself to feel acceptable, and be free of the things that hold you down.

Read what God says about you. He does not obsess over people's appearances -- He loves you no matter what.


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[BigNorsk]

I seriously think you need to go to someone who specializes in eating disorders and get help. It is all just too important to you. is.

Go in, talk to someone, get help.

 

[Aibrean]

That's what hit me when you said rice and fruit. Some people get sensitive blood sugar, and can't handle carbs well at all. Picture how you feel when you are restless for eating -- does it almost feel like a drug dependency, that you might even get jitters or explode if you don't eat?
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Uhhh...that's my health issue...not the OP's. I eat balanced, carb-conscious meals.