Sudden Traumatic Loss And Guilt

[erikajc]

Hi Franny, I lost my little sister a year ago. It wasn't instant, but it was quick, as we only had three months to say goodbye after her diagnosis. I wrote the lyrics to this song as I went through the grieving process. I hope it brings you comfort.
Man of sorrows, weep with me
Both acquainted now with grief
Your tears mingle with my own
For every anguish you have known
Every anguish you have known

Father God You suffered loss
Your beloved Son You watched
Lift His eyes in agony
Now, Father won’t you weep with me
Father won’t you weep with me

My cries do not go unanswered
My tears do not go uncounted
My pain You have felt the same
You have felt the same
You have felt the same

Comforter please send Your peace
Stop the bleeding, start to heal
For only One who’s been cut as deep
Could begin to weep with me
Could begin to weep with me

 

[Franny50]

Sorry about your sister.I think your poem is a lovely tribute to her.If you enjoy writing poetry/lyrics please join my group Christian Poets.And thank you for your kind words!

 

[Humble Pie]

No but we've had tragic deaths in our family's recent past:

A little girl fell into the fire place.
A little boy was hit in the head while playing.
A man's bed caught fire.
A young woman with cancer took her own life.
A young man was killed at war.

These happened before my time.

 

[Franny50]

Wow,your family has had a lot of losses.

 

[LovedSparrow]

In my life, I had 3 people pass away within the course of 6 months. My Grandma died from cancer, my friend's bf committed suicide, and my neighbor who I grew up with was killed in a car accident. It is a tough thing to swallow, and growing up I was not taught how to deal with my feelings. I carried a lot of guilt for not 'just getting over it.' My dad never talked about his mom after she died, so I assumed I should just move on. I was confused. I missed my Grandma so much, and still do, but I feel very good at how I grieved. I did the best I knew how. I kept a journal and wept. I carried things that reminded me of her with me. I tried to talk about her as much as I could with my then-fiancee. I found that the grieving process was almost as difficult as losing her. I think as humans, we are not taught well how to grieve. People get strange when we don't just move on after a couple months.

God is with you, Franny. Agreed with Blackribbon, you did all you could. If God wanted her to be alive, she would be. People can be very cruel, but you did your best.
LovedSparrow

P.S, I have PTSD too, but from abuse issues.

 

[Franny50]

Thank You Loved Sparrow!

 

[nat965]

Old, but still useful.

Last year I had a hard time. One of my friends I went to school with committed suicide, one of my friend's sister committed suicide (came after her death, but still hard..) and my granddad died of cancer.

 

[artqween]

Has anyone out there lost someone to a sudden death(fire,suicide,car accident,heart attack)Four months ago,we lost our next door neighbor and friend of 25 years when her clothes caught on fire,which spread through out the apartment killing her.Despite throwing two pots of water at her and using my comforter to try to suffocate the flames,she died anyway.I have so much guilt over this.She was 72 and used both a walker and quad cane.I also lost my only brother to suicide 6 years prior,and had cancelled plans to see him right before he killed himself.

Aww.. there is no need to feel guilty u did all u could do. Just morn their loss and know they r in heaven and r angels. I know u r hurting and that is to be expectd.. They brought happiness to ur life. Invite her family to urs. And about ur brother my heart goes to ur family. Why do u think he killd himself?? sister.. Hi btw and plezd to meet u. U go to church right??

 

[Franny50]

I wish I knew why he took his life,but I don't think it would have made it any easier If I did.The end result is my brother and best friend is gone!

 

[Alienated]

Yes, back in 88 my brother was murdered by a hit and run driver. Then my Dad in 99 from a heart attack. But my mom had bone cancer and lasted almost 2 years. My whole family is gone. I can't make any friends, I don't trust anyone, I live in total isolation, I'm [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed !! Because there is no church to go to, just social gatherings of sociopaths. Telling me to think happy thoughts because they don't want to hear it....

 

[artqween]

I wish I knew why he took his life,but I don't think it would have made it any easier If I did.The end result is my brother and best friend is gone!

we r here for ya sister..

 

[SMacGregor]

Whether the departure of a loved one is sudden, or has been anticipated over a period of time, we experience a powerful and complex range of emotions of grief – including disbelief, shock, anger, hatred, guilt, loss of faith, fear of the future, loneliness, regret. Going through this is a normal part of the grieving process and is necessary to reconcile ourselves in some way so that we can move on from the experience to become a better, stronger person with a greater sense of purpose in life as a result.