Obedience to the Lord does give one peace. Unconditional obedience, even. Amen!!
It does. He is deepening my faith and trust.
Yet, on the topic of this post, a human will never live up to the unfailing mercy and love of the Lord, so granting such unconditional obedience to your husband will eventually yield a different effect.
That is a heavier topic which addresses sufferance, mystical union, and the greater thing He’s moving me towards. This is a matter of love and will. They’re at the heart of all I do.
I don’t require perfection in my partner and the fruits may be lacking on occasion and underdeveloped in some areas and less so in most.
Nevertheless, he is a conduit and the sandpaper I require to smooth the rough places. He provides the challenges I need which stretch and make me malleable in places where I’m rigid and fixed.
I don’t expect him to be infallible like God. Where is the challenge of loving someone perfect who always wants our best? Flesh brings obstacles and difficulties that test and refine my person.
LaBella, ideally it would not be a yoke. But humans fall short. They are not made to accept or receive worship. Unconditional love and obedience towards another is not far from a state of worship. What happens to any of us mere mortals who start accepting worship is a great study... the evolution of their character or their end is never good.
It is impossible for me to be perfectly obedient. I will fail and err many times. His grace and patience will help me improve and make better decisions in the future. I have no interest in control, games, or manipulation. I can accept correction.
I don’t worship my companion. But I do express my regard and gratitude for his presence in many ways and always in prayer. I have learned the importance of thank you and the gravity of little moments I recall that acknowledge his presence and contribution.
Appreciation goes a long way in keeping the peace and demonstrating in the simplest ways: I see you. You’ve made a difference. I thank God for you.
I take those moments and create a digital spread or place them in a physical scrapbook. The digital spreads are compiled in a book as well. When challenges arise or we find ourselves in a valley where there’s no way out we’ll remember happier times. And because I’ve captured them we can relive those moments together and draw strength from them.
I am an asset to him in every sense of the word. Not in theory or merely because I believe. I have intentionally worked towards my betterment as a woman and future spouse. I never stop. When he asks how I've spent my life up until his arrival. I want to have something to show that makes him proud.
Yes, delight in our spouse and in our union and in our Lord is wonderful and healthy. Marriage is a type of Christ's relationship with his bride; my husband often remarks on some aspect about our relationship that reminds him of one more way that our relationship typifies the relationship between Christ and the church.
Ideally, you bring one another closer to God. But that is not contingent on perfection. Or fruit. It is an outgrowth of my faith and trust.
I experienced much growth while laboring for an atheist. My submission to God enabled me to love and care for him in ways that exceeded my capacity. The minor afflictions have strengthened my mettle. I am bettered because of them.
The emotional and spiritual intimacy my husband and I share are in a similar vein to each of our personal relationships with Christ. We are one with each other, and we are one with Christ. Synergisticly, wonderfully so.
That is a wonderful image. I would like to meet someone who seeks the same. One who grasps my surrender in its proper context. I asked to remain single but He said no. I accept His will and trust its for the best.
However, if one of you brings the fruits of darkness into the union then this ideal becomes painful and to the extent you still try to serve it, it even becomes destructive to yourself. This only works between two who become one in the fruits of the Spirit. Fruits of darkness will never yield joy and peace.
I expect there will be places of growth in us each. But I’ve endured much for His sake and He’s kept me. I don’t fix my thoughts on impossibilities. I look at Him and consider what He desires to bring from the union.
Thank you for including your thoughts on the book.
So the L&R book, in my estimation, foments fruits of darkness on the part of theIt encourages the husband's entitlement of her esteem rather than teaching him to "esteem other better than self".
Respect and admiration are benevolent gifts I bestow. Both require me to move outside myself and see him through different lenses. Contemplating God’s perspective and his positive attributes makes a difference. It is hard to admire someone if you’re constantly turning their failings in your head and giving voice to them.
It teaches him to enforce her submission by calling her out with "I didn't feel respected when you ___ just now." And it burdens the woman into unconditional duty submission.
Oftentimes we don’t realize we’ve offended someone. If my behavior is having a negative effect I want to know. We can’t accurately gauge the impact our words and deeds will have without feedback.
Further, it robs the woman of her sexual being and her sexual agency. It portrays sex as "HIS" release and her sacrifice of just a few minutes.
I think physical intimacy involves give and take. I derive pleasure from knowing his needs are met and there are moments when serving him is my focus. His desire, need, and release satisfy something in me. Knowing he is sated from my efforts is equally pleasing.
This is NOT God's view of sex or why He created it!! L&R gives little (if any) space to discuss a woman's sexuality and not once mentions her sexual pleasure or her sexual needs. I'd hate to read his rewrite of Song of Solomon.
Sometimes that goes unmet. Sometimes the denial is the point. Sometimes its meant to bring me to another state. Sometimes the angst pleases both.
Further, it encourages women to "minister" to their husband sexually even if they don't feel like it as a way to respect him and as their duty.
I see this from a perspective of service. And there’s always a measure of compromise. But its made easier if you are on the same page. I think that’s an important ministry. Much like he ministers to my passion for handbags and the other delights I prefer.
Women perform tasks they don’t enjoy every day. The issue isn’t sex. Its the payoff. Some esteem that higher than their companion. I had workplace demands. But I met them with the right spirit. Should I give my husband less? Not a chance!
This is terrible advice and will create a sexual aversion.
I can see how that may be true for some. But surrendering my body is a must. We’re removing another brick in the wall until our nakedness (figuratively and literally so) has been accomplished. I won’t impede it.
Thank you for sharing!