struggling

[koshka]

I wasn't sure where to post this. I've been reexploring Christianity after giving up on it a while back (I realise that some people may believe I can't go back). I feel very vulnerable at the moment. I'm only just coming to terms with an abusive and neglectful upbringing and all the ramifications of it. If you want to reply, please can I ask that you be kind and sensitive. I'm writing because I'm trying to wait for God on something and I'm finding it extremely difficult.

 

[jehoiakim]

Don't loose hope many who beloved backslide it is hard not to when you enter into it with such an emotional high. Seek truth but do it honestly and sincerely take a step of faith from te to time and ask God to speak and this is the hard part allow god to answer a d don't look for specific answers that fit your box. As cs Lewis more or less said God is not a tame lion. I am praying it is hard to see Gods truth in a worked clouded Roth materialism and an obsession with power most of the world has and the self righteousness of many of "God's people" doesn't often help. Peace and blessings to you our God is love!

 

[paul1149]

God is married to the backslider, and I am living proof of that. He is high above all our travails, and understands with compassion the emotional confusion you are experiencing during this season. He knows it all better than we, because He is the one who wired us in the first place, and then when it was spoiled He took the weight of it all upon Himself at the Cross.

He loves you with an everlasting love and will not abandon you. In your adversity continue to turn to Him with just a tiny mustard seed of faith, even when things seem impossibly black, and you will see Him act on your behalf.

Do not give up, sister. Persevere. Endure. It will pass. Keep looking to the one called "Faithful and True" and He will deliver you.

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
​yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments. -Hab 3:17-19​

 

[koshka]

Don't loose hope many who beloved backslide it is hard not to when you enter into it with such an emotional high. Seek truth but do it honestly and sincerely take a step of faith from te to time and ask God to speak and this is the hard part allow god to answer a d don't look for specific answers that fit your box. As cs Lewis more or less said God is not a tame lion. I am praying it is hard to see Gods truth in a worked clouded Roth materialism and an obsession with power most of the world has and the self righteousness of many of "God's people" doesn't often help. Peace and blessings to you our God is love!

Thanks for your reply and encouragement jehoiakim. The difficulty I'm having is waiting for the answer to come. I'm not sure what you mean when you've said 'don't look for specific answers that fit your box' though because I'm looking for confirmation of something - so it is quite specific.

 

[jehoiakim]

I didn't mean anything in particular about your circumstance. I don't know what that circumstance really even is. I just meant that sometimes God meets our needs or desires in a way we were not expecting and sometimes we get lost in the details. For example I once prayed for a particular teaching job that was great payable alocation I thought was perfect and it just seemed ideal. In the end it was between me and some other guy who got it and it was near the end of the interview season so I didn't know how we were going to pay the bills. At the last minute God opened the door and I got a job on a location and age group I was not excited about. 5 years later I love my job it is a perfect fit for me and my family and a year after they hired the guy for the job I really wanted the basically cut the art dept and I would have been out of a job. All I was saying was that sometimes God's answered are better for us and if you aren't paying attention sometimes you could miss that.

 

[koshka]

Thanks for explaining jehoiakim. I'm just really stressed at the moment, so hope I hadn't appeared picky. Anyway, glad God blessed you with a good job.

 

[koshka]

God is married to the backslider, and I am living proof of that. He is high above all our travails, and understands with compassion the emotional confusion you are experiencing during this season. He knows it all better than we, because He is the one who wired us in the first place, and then when it was spoiled He took the weight of it all upon Himself at the Cross.

He loves you with an everlasting love and will not abandon you. In your adversity continue to turn to Him with just a tiny mustard seed of faith, even when things seem impossibly black, and you will see Him act on your behalf.

Do not give up, sister. Persevere. Endure. It will pass. Keep looking to the one called "Faithful and True" and He will deliver you.

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
​yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments. -Hab 3:17-19
​

Thanks for writing paul - I appreciate it. I want to ask - do you ever ask God to confirm a specific scripture or word? And if you have, has it happened?

 

[jehoiakim]

That's quit alright I don't mind questions at a it just leads to a fuller understanding of truth keep us updated. I'm still praying

 

[paul1149]

Absolutely. But God sees the entire picture and so, as jehoiakim suggests, answers in His way and time. So we have to approach Him with an interesting mixture of yieldedness, patience and confidence.

 

[koshka]

I think a reason I'm having such difficulty waiting etc is because a while back I came across a site about God being imaginary and I found this affected me quite a lot. So it really means a lot to ask God for confirmation of something.

 

[jehoiakim]

May I ask what the specific scripture or word you are waitng on is?

 

[KimberlyAA]

I've noticed when waiting on God for something, He answers us in very diverse ways. He may answer our prayer in ways totally unexpected but it is always for our benefit. When you lean on Him, He won't fail you. Even if He seems to be taking long & our patience is wearing thin, we have to hold on. I believe that Jesus died & rose from the dead so that we could have an abundant life & that we could learn to be optimistic even when we're put into very difficult situations. Idk if it will help, but whenever I feel like everything is hopeless ... I always remember people like Paul, the prophet Isaiah & other martyrs in the Bible who died in the most awful ways for their faith. I don't think they would have given their all if God wasn't truly with them. Remember that there are always people who are worse off than us & I find that in that way we can be thankful for what we have in life. I'll pray for you also

 

[paul1149]

The important thing is to abide. If you focus on the issue too much, you'll lose your peace and your faith. But if your focus is on God, you'll be safe as He works out the matter for you. Of course the issue is important, but we have to keep things in context or we lose perspective, and that hurts us.

As for that site, guard your heart, especially if you are going through a sensitive, vulnerable time. The safest place to be is in the Lord. He will work the rest out for you. Never forget His unfathomable love for you. He already sees us perfected, and is quite capable of cleaning up our messes if we will trust Him implicitly.

 

[bling]

I am a little concerned about: “waiting for God’s confirmation?”
It sounds like you are going through some really hard times. I will pray for you.

 

[koshka]

May I ask what the specific scripture or word you are waitng on is?

I have felt that because I want to know for definite that it is from God, its best not to let anyone know what it is - just incase someone feels led to share it.

 

[koshka]

I've noticed when waiting on God for something, He answers us in very diverse ways. He may answer our prayer in ways totally unexpected but it is always for our benefit. When you lean on Him, He won't fail you. Even if He seems to be taking long & our patience is wearing thin, we have to hold on. I believe that Jesus died & rose from the dead so that we could have an abundant life & that we could learn to be optimistic even when we're put into very difficult situations. Idk if it will help, but whenever I feel like everything is hopeless ... I always remember people like Paul, the prophet Isaiah & other martyrs in the Bible who died in the most awful ways for their faith. I don't think they would have given their all if God wasn't truly with them. Remember that there are always people who are worse off than us & I find that in that way we can be thankful for what we have in life. I'll pray for you also

Thanks for your post and for praying Kimberly.

 

[koshka]

The important thing is to abide. If you focus on the issue too much, you'll lose your peace and your faith. But if your focus is on God, you'll be safe as He works out the matter for you. Of course the issue is important, but we have to keep things in context or we lose perspective, and that hurts us.

As for that site, guard your heart, especially if you are going through a sensitive, vulnerable time. The safest place to be is in the Lord. He will work the rest out for you. Never forget His unfathomable love for you. He already sees us perfected, and is quite capable of cleaning up our messes if we will trust Him implicitly.

That's where I went wrong - I didn't guard my heart. Well, I did in the past - but someone close to me challenged me a lot about my faith from an atheist perspective and one thing led to another. I was basically out-argued and added to my circumstances and a faith already wavering, this is where I've ended up.

Please can I ask you if the scripture you quoted from Habbakuk was one you felt led to share or was it one you thought of to encourage?

 

[paul1149]

Please protect that precious seed the Lord has planted in you. It is so very valuable. The enemy wants to derail you because he knows how much victory and joy is stored up for you, and how much damage you will do to his illicit kingdom claims. If you're coming out of a bondage situation the first steps are the hardest. But stick with it, it will get easier and you'll see fruit coming.

I was led to share Habakkuk. But to be honest, I was led to share the entire chapter. I hesitated because it is so long, and doing so seemed out of place. But this is the confirmation. The chapter has some hard stuff in it, but the gist is that the Lord really and truly is in charge of things. Woe to those who set themselves against him. As His beloved, even if you must pass through some hard times, your heritage in the saints means you can rest in Him and delight in Him while it plays out. He will set you on higher ground even if the horizontal gets ugly for a while.

Stick with the Lord, sister, and let nothing dissuade you.

 

[koshka]

I am a little concerned about: “waiting for God’s confirmation?”
It sounds like you are going through some really hard times. I will pray for you.

Thank you for your prayers bling.

 

[koshka]

Please protect that precious seed the Lord has planted in you. It is so very valuable. The enemy wants to derail you because he knows how much victory and joy is stored up for you, and how much damage you will do to his illicit kingdom claims. If you're coming out of a bondage situation the first steps are the hardest. But stick with it, it will get easier and you'll see fruit coming.

I was led to share Habakkuk. But to be honest, I was led to share the entire chapter. I hesitated because it is so long, and doing so seemed out of place. But this is the confirmation. The chapter has some hard stuff in it, but the gist is that the Lord really and truly is in charge of things. Woe to those who set themselves against him. As His beloved, even if you must pass through some hard times, your heritage in the saints means you can rest in Him and delight in Him while it plays out. He will set you on higher ground even if the horizontal gets ugly for a while.

Stick with the Lord, sister, and let nothing dissuade you.

I wasn't expecting Habakkuk, and to be honest I'm a bit apprehensive about it because I read a little of an explanation of it and it sounded like he went through a very difficult time, but I will have a look and see later.