Struggling with the Desire to be like others

Gentle Lamb

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I sometimes find myself struggling with the desire to be like others. I see the way other people do things and the lives they seem to be leading (from what I observe on the outside and from what they tell me) and I start to wonder if I should be doing the same things they are doing. God often helpfully reminds me to focus on the cross, to focus on Christ. I found this article helpful and I wanted to share. How do you deal with the struggle to be like others around you?

The Dangerous Desire to be Like Everyone Else - Everyday Apostolic
 
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jacks

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I think pretty much everyone wants to "fit in." It takes a lot of courage not to be like others or being the odd one out. It is a good reminder to us to focus on the Lord and His ways and not get too caught up in what is popular or trendy.
 
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bèlla

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My parents were vehemently against following others. They expected us to think for ourselves and apply the principles we were taught. If we got in trouble and they discovered we weren’t the ringleader but followed another down that path the punishment was worse.

As a result, I’m not easily influenced and grew up with a strong self-identity and self-worth. I don’t care about fitting in. There’s few I want to emulate or who’s lives I wish to have.

I’ve averted a lot of hardships and mistreatment because of their teachings. You can’t reach that place without love and acceptance. If you’re continually looking outward you’ll never embrace the woman in the mirror.

You don’t have to be them. You have to be the best ‘you’ that’s possible. Truth be told, you can’t be them. You don’t have their makeup, circumstances, or experiences. No matter how hard you try you’ll never be the same.

Be yourself. Take pride in the person God fashioned and rest in Him. He knew what He was doing when He made you.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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I sometimes find myself struggling with the desire to be like others. I see the way other people do things and the lives they seem to be leading (from what I observe on the outside and from what they tell me) and I start to wonder if I should be doing the same things they are doing. God often helpfully reminds me to focus on the cross, to focus on Christ. I found this article helpful and I wanted to share. How do you deal with the struggle to be like others around you?

The Dangerous Desire to be Like Everyone Else - Everyday Apostolic
I guess it depends on what others are doing. Maybe elaborate?
Blessings
 
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1watchman

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I sometimes find myself struggling with the desire to be like others. I see the way other people do things and the lives they seem to be leading (from what I observe on the outside and from what they tell me) and I start to wonder if I should be doing the same things they are doing. God often helpfully reminds me to focus on the cross, to focus on Christ. I found this article helpful and I wanted to share. How do you deal with the struggle to be like others around you?

The Dangerous Desire to be Like Everyone Else - Everyday Apostolic

It sounds like you are lacking in confidence and without a direction in life. You don't need to do as 'some others do' (and probably should not). Much depends on your age and maturity and own interests; and desire to achieve a course of life, friend. Do you have some direction for your future, as a career? Do NOT try to mimic others! Just be pleasant and observe and choose a wise course for your own interests. We find friends of like-mind as we go along.
I hope you have received the Lord Jesus as your Savior and guide (as John 3:16 tells us). Talk to Him daily for guidance and direction, and "everlasting life" in Heaven --making Him your 'best Friend'. Do you talk to trusted friends about interests that you have which might be pursued? Rather than copy others, try pursuing your own interests; while being friendly and pleasant with all others, which will attract friends. Going to Church services and meeting others will find helpful and more dependable friends. I will pray for you, and you can write me to chat at the Conversation Page herein. -1watchman
 
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mama2one

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How do you deal with the struggle to be like others around you?]

you might think someone has the perfect family, perfect job, perfect opportunities

however, do not wish for someone else's life
you may not want what they struggle with on a day-to-day basis

on the surface, my neighborhood looks great with people mostly working in health care or education

yet several neighbors have had cancer (some died), domestic abuse (cops have shown up), two with unwed daughters getting pregnant, job loss, and financial problems with two houses going into foreclosure
 
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Gentle Lamb

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I think pretty much everyone wants to "fit in." It takes a lot of courage not to be like others or being the odd one out. It is a good reminder to us to focus on the Lord and His ways and not get too caught up in what is popular or trendy.

Yes it does take a lot of courage come to think about it. It's hard to be the one saying no to things and not doing things that other people are doing. The pressure is constant. I am grateful to God for His grace.

My parents were vehemently against following others. They expected us to think for ourselves and apply the principles we were taught. If we got in trouble and they discovered we weren’t the ringleader but followed another down that path the punishment was worse.

As a result, I’m not easily influenced and grew up with a strong self-identity and self-worth. I don’t care about fitting in. There’s few I want to emulate or who’s lives I wish to have.

I’ve averted a lot of hardships and mistreatment because of their teachings. You can’t reach that place without love and acceptance. If you’re continually looking outward you’ll never embrace the woman in the mirror.

You don’t have to be them. You have to be the best ‘you’ that’s possible. Truth be told, you can’t be them. You don’t have their makeup, circumstances, or experiences. No matter how hard you try you’ll never be the same.

Be yourself. Take pride in the person God fashioned and rest in Him. He knew what He was doing when He made you.

That's very interesting, thank you for your insight Bella.

It sounds like you are lacking in confidence and without a direction in life. You don't need to do as 'some others do' (and probably should not). Much depends on your age and maturity and own interests; and desire to achieve a course of life, friend. Do you have some direction for your future, as a career? Do NOT try to mimic others! Just be pleasant and observe and choose a wise course for your own interests. We find friends of like-mind as we go along.
I hope you have received the Lord Jesus as your Savior and guide (as John 3:16 tells us). Talk to Him daily for guidance and direction, and "everlasting life" in Heaven --making Him your 'best Friend'. Do you talk to trusted friends about interests that you have which might be pursued? Rather than copy others, try pursuing your own interests; while being friendly and pleasant with all others, which will attract friends. Going to Church services and meeting others will find helpful and more dependable friends. I will pray for you, and you can write me to chat at the Conversation Page herein. -1watchman


Thank God I am not actually lacking direction in life. I lack "self" confidence, but my confidence in God has grown and I trust in Him. I'd rather have confidence in God than "self" confidence, if that makes sense. Yet, it's a struggle to be around people who are living their lives one way and getting seemingly desirable results when I am trying to honor God and that is the path least traveled. But I did want to share that article because it really hit the nail on the head with the struggle. And it helps me to when people leave comments here on CF because this is a support system of brothers and sisters in Christ and I learn from everyone, so thank you.

you might think someone has the perfect family, perfect job, perfect opportunities

however, do not wish for someone else's life
you may not want what they struggle with on a day-to-day basis

on the surface, my neighborhood looks great with people mostly working in health care or education

yet several neighbors have had cancer (some died), domestic abuse (cops have shown up), two with unwed daughters getting pregnant, job loss, and financial problems with two houses going into foreclosure


You're right... thank you
 
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seashale76

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I sometimes find myself struggling with the desire to be like others. I see the way other people do things and the lives they seem to be leading (from what I observe on the outside and from what they tell me) and I start to wonder if I should be doing the same things they are doing. God often helpfully reminds me to focus on the cross, to focus on Christ. I found this article helpful and I wanted to share. How do you deal with the struggle to be like others around you?

The Dangerous Desire to be Like Everyone Else - Everyday Apostolic
It's called FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Marketers use it all the time. I see lots of people every day who are doing things/did that wound up being/are very destructive to their health. They're miserable. I discovered long ago that I'm not missing out, after all.
 
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