Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of the text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammatical mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I wound become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do?
(
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!
Hello everyone!
*I apologize for the length of the text I'm going to write and for the eventual grammatical mistakes*
I've been experiencing same-sex attraction since I first learned about sex. At first I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I may be a lesbian but as time went by, I began to understand and accept the way I am (I didn't really believe in God back then, even though my parents have always been very faithful).
Now that I sort of believe in God I know that homosexuality is a sin (difficult to accept tho, since I can't see what's so wrong about it), but I'm stuck between wanting and not wanting to get rid of it. On the one hand, men are so not my type! I can't even picture myself holding hands with one, let alone kissing him or having intercourse with him...
However, girls are so soft! I REALLY wish I were a man, I'd be the best boyfriend ever and she'd be the happiest woman!
One the other hand, I am aware of the impossibility of me becoming I man, so I must stop fantasizing! Sometimes life feels so unfair it makes me cry (and I am the type who rarely cries). Why?? Why did I have to be born a woman?? This body from which I can't escape makes me unable to express myself!! I will need love in my life and I won't be able to get it...
I wish I wound become aromantic and asexual! That's one of my biggest desires! What should I do?
(
I will appreciate every piece of advice from anyone!
I face the same struggles. I get it.
Between those that are waving their pride flags every day in people's faces and those that hate themselves to the point of ending their lives, it can feel isolating to be the people in the middle that just want to know how to navigate this life that would please God. But for one, you are not the only one.
I can DM more information on a forum site that is dedicated to those in your position, it have helped me greatly as there is a community of people that are facing the same demons and it provides alot of support and resources to those who seek it. We can also talk in detail about how to navigate what you're feeling.
So yes this is going to be a lengthy and broad post.
1. Read your word and study on the issues. There's alot of resources and testimony you can read and listen to. I can DM you the information if interested.
2.Do realize that every Christian is warring with their flesh, no matter what the attraction is, because at the end of the day we are fallen in nature, and until the day we die, there will always be a temptation. Jesus had many temptations, but he was without sin. Why? Because He knew how to flee from them. So yes the temptation seems really good, and seems very logical based on the desires, to be drawn to woman is not a bad thing, we are all beautiful creations and particular things will seem more attractive than other particular things. Its not a bad thing to desire having bonds with other women, just like it's not bad to want to bond with other men. These are not bad things to desire. BUT you have to decipher what is a holy desire. So bonding with women and admiring the beauty is a good desire, but to then desire sexual and romantic things that is suppose to be reserved for a future husband is not a holy desire. Same for men, you not wanting men is also ok, no one is required to be in love, but then you say that you wish you were one at the same time, which is also not a holy desire. I think this will help you greatly when it comes to acknowledging how you feel, and why you feel the way you feel.
3. It is something to note that you desire to be a man for the sake of being with a woman, instead of just desiring to be a woman loving a woman. Is there something to being a woman that you see as more of a burden than if you were a man? Understand that each has their own struggles, and God has blessed you with the vessel you have. This is the vessel that has kept you all these years. I haven't been at a point where I see myself saying that I wish I was a boy, but I have definitely felt a sense of burden when it comes to my femininity.
4. When you call yourself a lesbian, recognize heart-wise what you meant by that, because there are 3 distinct definitions for that. A. There are those that use that term to simply recognize that they do have same-sex attractions, B. there are those that use it as an identity in where they also establish it as how they see themselves in society and also the community, and then C. there are those that use it to state that they are practicing sexual and romantic acts with the same-sex.
If you fall under A, then you're better off not taking that politically driven title.
If you fall under B and/or C, then I pray that you turn away from such, as it is not the will of God and as long as you hold fast to it, you will always have an internal battle. If you want to move forward, you have to drop the past.
If you are born again, then all other identities are gone. You are a child of God first, woman second.
