I don't know if this counts as being a valid thread inside "Survivors of the Sex Industry." I was never employed by the sex industry. But I'm a guy who has frequented strip bars, have problems with pornography, and have done more things I am ashamed of. So the sex industry has had a profound effect on my lifestyle.
I'm bipolar, and I blame some of the struggles on the fact that bipolar affects judgment and decision making. Lots of bipolar people are hypersexual, too.
But right now, I struggle with two things.. pornography is a concern, although I've been able to cut that out a little bit. The other is that since I don't have a godly outlet for sex, it's hard not to have sex with my girlfriend. We've considered getting married, but God has shut the doors it seems on that possibility.
So, I feel doomed as I struggle. I know about Jesus, and I struggle to believe that He loves me and that I haven't "disqualified" myself from salvation. The part that I struggle with is that I have asked forgiveness for the same sin over and over and over. And eventually, you grow numb to the sorrow you should feel for committing that sin. My counselor said a long time ago, that I need to be connected in some kind of community regarding these issues. So that's why I am posting here.
My real question right now, is do you guys/girls struggle with guilt and with believing you are heaven-bound despite your past? Are you resisting the devil and his lies about your eternal salvation? If anyone can relate to me, please post.
I'm bipolar, and I blame some of the struggles on the fact that bipolar affects judgment and decision making. Lots of bipolar people are hypersexual, too.
But right now, I struggle with two things.. pornography is a concern, although I've been able to cut that out a little bit. The other is that since I don't have a godly outlet for sex, it's hard not to have sex with my girlfriend. We've considered getting married, but God has shut the doors it seems on that possibility.
So, I feel doomed as I struggle. I know about Jesus, and I struggle to believe that He loves me and that I haven't "disqualified" myself from salvation. The part that I struggle with is that I have asked forgiveness for the same sin over and over and over. And eventually, you grow numb to the sorrow you should feel for committing that sin. My counselor said a long time ago, that I need to be connected in some kind of community regarding these issues. So that's why I am posting here.
My real question right now, is do you guys/girls struggle with guilt and with believing you are heaven-bound despite your past? Are you resisting the devil and his lies about your eternal salvation? If anyone can relate to me, please post.