struggling with masturbation

Fuzzy · Sep 22, 2004

I still think he needs to address whatever's putting him in his depressed/agitated
state, rather than just trying to deal with the masturbation. Limit the masturbation,
sure, but figure out what's prompting the situation that requires the masturbation
to begin with.

ForeRunner · Sep 22, 2004

larryicr said:
argyleman said
So since it makes him feel bad, it does not seem to be helping his depression, and he does not seem to "feel better" afterwards as you put it.

Maybe that is because people have been lying by telling him it is wrong and evil his whole life, when in fact it is natural and healthy

Les Grands Pieds · Sep 22, 2004

Would you rather do it and maybe feel a little bad about it afterwards, or be driven crazy with the urges to do it but never satisfy them.
A lot of people like to use the old verse:
"If your arm causes you to sin, then cut it off"
^^^A lot of guys think the only thing you do with an arm is touch. Anybody who tells uses that verse in an attempt to show you that masturbation is a sin doesn't truly understand what it means.

Try looking at the situation this way:
'if your hormones are driving you crazy and causing you to lust after girls all over the place, then touch!'
^^^Seems to me like a pretty effective way to get past the urge. Hey, if ya gotta pee, would you wanna hold it all day? No! You wouldn't, would you?

If you have a problem with it, then just don't do it. If your heart tells you that you shouldn't be doing it, then it's especially bad and you shouldn't be doing it in that case. Just don't torture yourself by bottling up all this sexual tension. It can't possibly be good for you to keep it all bottled up.

Guys, it's not the end of the world just because you launched your rocket a few times. It's not like it went all the way into space or anything.

NoDeity · Sep 23, 2004

You probably feel bad after masturbating because you've been taught to believe that it's a bad thing to do. It's not a bad thing to do (unless you're in a committed relationship that includes sex and you touch so often that you can't have sex with your partner).

If God killed Onan for masturbation, then how many men do you suppose God would have killed for the same "sin" in the Old Testament days? They'd have been dropping dead everywhere! (Any man who says he hasn't masturbated is lying -- unless his equipment is very faulty or missing.) Besides, what makes people think that Onan was masturbating? Read it for yourself in Genesis 38:6-10. It sounds much more as if he had sexual intercourse with Tamar but pulled out at the last moment and "spilled it on the ground". Onan's "sin" was that he disobeyed his father's order to impregnate his dead brother's wife.

Think about your reasons for feeling bad about masturbating. Has someone convinced you that it's inherently evil to give yourself pleasure?

As for the periods of depression, that's fairly normal for teens but if you find yourself giving any serious thought to suicide, please seek compassionate and professional help.

Edit: when I was in my late teens, a friend who was a devout Christian and the son of our pastor used to say that masturbation is "God's gift to teenagers". That is, it's a harmless release of sexual tension. Besides, if you don't touch, you'll just have wet dreams anyhow so you might as well take care of it when you choose to do so rather than wake up with a messy surprise.

Jet Black · Sep 23, 2004

argyleman said:
chastity belt? are you kidding?
Imagine wearing this thing at night and then getting an erection!
This would break your penis.... I doubt that this is a real solution.

that victorian thing won't be good, but modern male chastity belts take erections into account. I'd stick by what others say though. sexy dreams are natural, it'S not your fault so don't worry too much. If anything your focus on it will make you more likely to dream about it more read a book until you get really tired before bed. books are educational, and you will probably dream about something else then instead.

Eudaimonist · Sep 23, 2004

argyleman, you are torturing yourself for no reason. It is perfectly natural to have sexual fantasies and a need to relieve sexual tension. You are a human being, after all! You aren't hurting anyone, including yourself, by masturbating. It's certainly the safest form of sex! Enjoy it, and there's no reason to feel guilty about it.

ForeRunner · Sep 23, 2004

NoDeity said:
It's not a bad thing to do (unless you're in a committed relationship that includes sex and you touch so often that you can't have sex with your partner).

I don't think that is possible!!

At least, not at my age.

Joeri · Sep 23, 2004

I dont think its wrong, it is what is in the heart that is wrong or good. Are your sexual fantasies in one way or another based on love? is it just your own desire you think about, or do you think also about loving and emotionally or otherwise satisfying the girl in the fantasy? i think it really makes a difference. i have prayed for you for pure sexuality in every way what it means, and god knows better than i what it means

inHisgrip · Sep 23, 2004

It sounds like your heart is condemning you, I would suggest taking a look at what triggers you to touch. Take this before the Lord, He is the only one that can help you discover if it is a problem or not.
It becomes an addiction for some men. I would keep a journal of what triggers it and try to figure out the cause. If you are really concerned, find a good counselor who can help you.
You are in my prayers.
In Him

mindbender · Sep 23, 2004

I personally don't think that there is anything at all wrong with masturbation, and when I have the urge I just go for it and do not feel any guilt afterwards. It's perfectly natural; it's like being hungry or having to go use the lavatory. As human beings we have sexual needs too. Sure, ideally we should express them with our mates, but sometimes that is not possible. So masturbation is sometimes necessary.

And you know what? I think it's a far better way to go than some of the alternatives (ie. casual sex or extramarital affairs, both of which could have very negative consequences!).

I honestly think it's a very natural, healthy expression that bears no moral relevancy. However, that said, if you do disagree (which I assume you do or you wouldn't have posted your dilemma), I suppose the only thing you can do is to try your best not to give into your, uh, "temptations".

Try thinking of something else (like your mom, a cute fuzzy teddybear, a cooing baby, your front lawn, etc) or taking a cold bath or shower when the urge comes over you. Try to distract yourself, or, better yet! Get a hobby. Preferably one where there are no balls or clubs involved.

Avatar · Sep 23, 2004

Well put mindbender! I can see you'll be an excellent addition to CF! Welcome.

mindbender · Sep 23, 2004

Avatar said:
Well put mindbender! I can see you'll be an excellent addition to CF! Welcome.

Hey! Thanks.

There some interesting discussions over here. I haven't posted much yet, but I've been reading. Sort of hoping to a get an idea of what to expect for when the Universist forums become open.

Hologram · Sep 24, 2004

I admit I have not read through this topice yet. So if this is just repeating, I apologize. To the orginal poster, you may want to check out www.xxxchurch.com. They have resorces you may fine usefull.

Carico · Sep 24, 2004

People who don't have the spirit in them have no choice but to derive pleasure from worldly things like sex, money, food, drinking, etc. Therefore, they cannot stop seeking those things. Those with the spirit, however, have many more options because God's forgiveness REPLACES worldly things as the source of pleasure! His spirit is FAR more statisfying than the pleasures of the flesh. Nothing beats it! Until you ask for God's forgiveness and receive the Holy Spirit, you have no choice but to continue sinning because it only whet's one's appetite for more. Wthout Jesus, you are trapped in your sins forever.

ForeRunner · Sep 24, 2004

Carico said:
People who don't have the spirit in them have no choice but to derive pleasure from worldly things like sex, money, food, drinking, etc.

I know! Aren't those things great? Not so much the drinking one (although I do indulge occassionally), but man, food and sex nothing beats it, I'm Italian, what can I say?

I'll give you my short list of worldly pleasures so you can see just how awful they are:

Eating my soup
Kissing my Girlfriend
Taking Showers
Being Sad
Sleeping soundly
Playing video games
Reading Books
Learning
Watching TV
Cuddling
Helping People
Taking Risks
Making Love
Singing (badly)
Dancing
Getting Drunk Occasionally
Making friends
Being a Teacher
Etc.

Awful, isn't it? I understand now why I should go to hell with all the murders and rapists now. Thank you for showing me the light.

Nathan David · Sep 24, 2004

ForeRunner said:
I'll give you my short list of worldly pleasures so you can see just how awful they are:

Eating my soup
Kissing my Girlfriend
Taking Showers
Being Sad
Sleeping soundly
Playing video games
Reading Books
Learning
Watching TV
Cuddling
Helping People
Taking Risks
Making Love
Singing (badly)
Dancing
Getting Drunk Occasionally
Making friends
Being a Teacher
Etc.

Obviously you are a worthless sinner who deserves to die.

Carico · Sep 24, 2004

ForeRunner said:
I know! Aren't those things great? Not so much the drinking one (although I do indulge occassionally), but man, food and sex nothing beats it, I'm Italian, what can I say?

I'll give you my short list of worldly pleasures so you can see just how awful they are:

Eating my soup
Kissing my Girlfriend
Taking Showers
Being Sad
Sleeping soundly
Playing video games
Reading Books
Learning
Watching TV
Cuddling
Helping People
Taking Risks
Making Love
Singing (badly)
Dancing
Getting Drunk Occasionally
Making friends
Being a Teacher
Etc.

Awful, isn't it? I understand now why I should go to hell with all the murders and rapists now. Thank you for showing me the light.

So when you die you can say, "Look at me, God, I didn't exist to serve you but to serve myself! You must be so proud of me! I'm certainly better than some people I know!" I'll clue you in, God will NOT be impressed with your arrogance.

Faithful nonbeliever · Sep 25, 2004

Carico said:
So when you die you can say, "Look at me, God, I didn't exist to serve you but to serve myself! You must be so proud of me! I'm certainly better than some people I know!" I'll clue you in, God will NOT be impressed with your arrogance.

Nor would he be with yours.

Norseman · Sep 25, 2004

Jet Black said:
sexy dreams are natural...

Blast me infernal clonin' tank! I been formed unnatural! Ye natural people and yer pleasurin', argh! It makes me sick! Ye should all be ashamed o' yerselves and yer vile dreamin'! Ugh, th' very thought o' touchin'... Sick! Sick I be tellin' ye, sick! Ye land lubbers can't even go a week without it! Do ye think the Almighty Lord wants to be watchin' ye gropin' yer harpoon?! Huh?! Do ye?! Sick! Sick sick sick sick, SICK!

Inner City Blues · Sep 25, 2004

I'll just say this, prostate cancer. Basically never letting your body do this natural function can lead to higher risk of cancer. Think of it like your muscles or digestive tract. If you start to use those systems less and less, they atrophy.

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