Struggling with Homosexuality

[mattsprayer25]

I pray everyday and i want to be forgiven and not hated.

 

[Criada]

Praying for you, brother.
God loves you very much, and He forgives you as soon as you ask.

 

[anonym00s]

Read my post on this thread regarding homosexuality:

http://www.christianforums.com/t7725952/

I think it is quite relevant.

 

[jjust19]

Being gay in itself is something us people who are gay have to control. It's okay if you have same-sex attractions, just don't act on them. <Staff Edit>

 

[whitebeaches]

I'm sorry you are struggling so. I just wanted you to know God loves you and you are not hated. You are in my prayers ((( hugs )))

 

[Chaplain David]

I pray everyday and i want to be forgiven and not hated.

Hello,

I'm praying for you and want to reassure you that God loves you. If you confess your sins to Him He is faithful to forgive them 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

God bless you.

Faithfully,

 

[RuthD]

Praying for you to find the answers. God bless you.

 

[davethechristian]

Me too friend. I hate this part of me...but its not the real me. And it is not the real you either! It is sin. We all have it but mostly, Jesus covered everything on the cross! This verse helps me so much in this struggle, Exodus 14:14 "The Lord your God will fight for you, you need only to be still." Changing our desires is mostly outside our control. Pray and seek for healing in this area while keeping your eyes pure and your body a temple. He will not give us a temptation we cannot handle it says so in the Bible. If you can learn to love yourself, you will quickly learn that we all do already love you. Praying for you!

 

[transparentthought13]

I know the feeling, man. I've struggled with these feelings and emotions for the past 10 years or so.....and it sucks. By God's grace, He has protected me physically, but I've kinda destroyed myself mentally. However, the side-effect is that going through this has allowed me to have a better understanding of how to love "gays" and homosexuals more as Christ would love them.

As Christians, we are NEVER to hate someone just because they're "gay", and I apologize if that has been your experience. However, we are called to condemn the practices of homosexuals as sin. This is not hate; rather, it is the highest form of love we can give them. To use the classic example, if you saw a man asleep in a burning house, it would not be loving to say, "well, that's his choice; let him sleep." Love would run into that house, shake him until he woke, and try to physically pull him from the building.

In the same way, love is not the same as tolerance. We can love homosexuals by proclaiming the truth of God's word that homosexuality is sin and leads to eternal death. I have to remind myself of this every day when the temptations come, because it would be so easy to step off the path for just a moment.

Praying for you, man!

 

[sao3x]

Being gay in itself is something us people who are gay have to control. It's okay if you have same-sex attractions, just don't act on them. <Staff Edit>

I couldn't agree more !!!

 

[HoldingOnToGrace]

The Lord could never hate you! I'll pray for you my dear brother.*hugs*
It's true you can't control it and you're fine just as long as you don't act on it.

 

[letsbefriends]

Being gay in itself is something us people who are gay have to control. It's okay if you have same-sex attractions, just don't act on them. <Staff Edit>

wouldn't it be better if the attractions weren't there to begin with? I have had homosexual desires in middle school. I assumed that because I wasn't getting along with girls, that that was the reason for this problem. I realized that it was all false.

 

[Gentlemantech48]

Think of your problem this way. As a married man I was born with testosterone hormones and that automatically causes me to be physically attracted to women other than my wife. I wouldn't be "normal" if seeing a beautiful woman half naked didn't fire up those hormones. Let's say the woman I'm fired up about is a coworker. My wife's not there at work, the coworker is very friendly and unmarried. Let's also assume she is not a Christian and has been known to have sex with other men at work. This could be a huge temptation but I know in my heart that giving in to that tempation is something I could never take back. It would haunt me and God, because He loves me, would make sure I felt His discipline for an act of adultery. What I have to do is avoid that person as much as possible but when not possible I must not show any signs of being physically attracted to her.

The same is true for having homosexual tendencies. The temptation may be there but you need to do everything you can to avoid putting yourself in the wrong position where you could act on that temptation. My temptation towards a woman is probably just a strong as your temptation towards a man. We both have to understand that there are permanent consequences for giving in to that temptation.]

 

[coolholly]

Homosexual orientation in its self is not sin,only acting on it.I'm praying for you xx

 

[EternitywithJesus]

Amen, I agree. I'm 29 and I've struggled with this since I was 6. I hate this other "nature" within me, but as stated above, it's our sin nature constantly battling our spirit nature. We must keep fighting. Jesus is our fighter. We must, as hard as it is, to trust him. And I believe that it's no accident that we've all come to this forum. God is so good and he is helping us all.

 

[Mr Nobody]

Never done this before so not sure how this will read to some of you, but I apologise in advance if it upsets or makes anyone one of you who is struggling with this stuff feel uncomfortable. Its just a bit of an emotional splurge so might not make a lot of sense.

I have been struggling with this situation for a long time like many of you. The sexual abuse(male) I experienced makes it even more difficult to handle, its just a complete emotional car crash which makes trying to live a clean moral life as a Godly person appear impossible to me at present

God does I think understand my confusing sexual feelings and will help me to deal with them but in terms of engaging in homosexual practices or any sexual behaviour outside of heterosexual marriage for that matter, this is what seems condemned by him But some believe that someone can stop having homosexual feelings or stop being “gay” but is this really possible? Can I just switch off these feelings or change my orientation? I used to think I could, I thought I would eventually feel as a heterosexual does, but after more than 20 years its just not happening, no matter how much I continue with Christian activities. When someone can maybe stop smoking, taking drugs or gambling etc, it just does not seem possible to stop having an attraction to males rather than females, even if you don’t act upon it.

When the apostle Paul mentions in 1 Cor 6 about people who used to lead an immoral life(inc homosexuals) but have now been washed with Christ’s blood. What do you guys think he meant? Did they change their feelings or was it just that they stopped engaging in the immoral practices? I think the latter but I don’t really know. What do you all think?

I like women to talk to and enjoy their company very much, probably even more than guys at times but when it comes to attraction, its always men. So dealing with the sexual urges is very difficult, hence P & M seem the only way, but off course is displeasing to God. I’m stuck! especially as many might agree, that usually a Christian environment is a 99.99% heterosexual one and sometimes there is a lot of homophobia around as well, hence very few would be sensitive to this situation . In fact sometimes I hear jokes and stuff and fake a laugh, while dying a death inside.

Now obviously prayer is one of the major factors in overcoming some of this stuff, although I don’t think prayer can turn anyone straight, but can give us the needed help to cope because as someone said on another thread, its something we have to bear in this life. Spose I’m also just worried about just how long I can keep going on suppressing this stuff without getting seriously ill.

 

[anonym00s]

Mr. Nobody:

20 years? That is not something you have to accept.

I was just at the gym today and happily realized that I wasn't attracted to any of the guys there like I would have been years ago.

What sticks out to me in your post is this:

"I like women to talk to and enjoy their company very much, probably even more than guys at times but when it comes to attraction, its always men."

Hanging around women as friends and generally ignoring men is, to me, a sure fire way to stay stuck with same-sex attraction.

Yes, not having same-sex attraction is possible. Am I NEVER EVER tempted? I am tempted from time to time. But it is like having the temptation reduced from 75% to like 4%, an easily manageable level. And I still work on it and I do NOT accept same-sex attraction as a normal part of my life. Does that mean I am somehow stained, because I have temptation once in a while - NO. The blood of Jesus is sufficient to cleanse me from all sin, and temptation in and of itself is not sin (lusting in your heart is though).

"and sometimes there is a lot of homophobia around as well"

Are you saying that you feel you be rejected or otherwise treated less because of this issue? If so, that may be a hindrance to you overcoming this. Either way, you can still overcome it. I wouldn't have much hesitation telling someone about how I used to deal with same-sex attraction, but I am not eagerly volunteering to tell everyone because a lot of people couldn't handle it in my opinion (maybe I'm wrong, but I've just been taking this one step at a time).

One thing that took me along time to realize what that I had thoughts and imaginations that I let run around my mind that were contrary to who I am in Christ. I accepted many unusual, quasi-lustful thoughts in my head as normal. Looking back I feel sure that if a heterosexual person looked inside my head they would be shocked at what I thought (even if it wasn't overtly bad).

I'll also mention that other men who weren't dealing with the same issue helped tremendously in the process (even if they didn't know it). I think it's possible to overcome all on your own with Christ but I certainly don't recommend it. Hanging out with strong Christian men is very helpful.

What I am trying to say overall is that I hope you reject the notion that this is something you "cope" with for the rest of your life. And I didn't JUST suppress, I dealt with the root issues. Just suppressing to me is another sure fire way to remain stuck with that issue (also, if you over-suppress, that will cause issues to - but I would need another thread to explain what I mean but maybe you get what I'm saying).

 

[Crowned One]

Hi Matt You need not go to strenuous efforts to obtain mercy wen it is already here and at your door. You are forgiven and loved and we love you. Just put a hold on that thought of being hated. I know that many people in society can and do not understand why and how people have homosexual and same sex attractions and relationships. Sometimes for some people, not being able to understand things can be a cause for criticism and judgement and even hate. No body no matter how much they dont understand something or someone, nobody has a real right to judge, criticise or hate somebody without real cause and being homosexual frankly isnt a reason to hate somebody. But just remember dont expect most people to love and accept you because homosexuality is a big issue and very difficult for most people to come to terms with and confront because it scares them and it doesnt make sense. But you are not alone and there are people who care and who can help you. So dont go this alone.

Telling you to confess your sin isnt my first instinct before you get forgiven. Thats like saying make sure you let God know that your a sinner before you ask for forgiveness from God first.
Did you know that Gods grace is so big and so wide that all people are in effect because of Jesus' sacrifice loved and forgiven? They just dont know yet! All our sin past, present and future is forgiven and Gods love doesnt waver or hold back even if we do mess up once, twice and three times still his love remains.

My prayer for you is that you will know in your heart what is right and good concerning homosexuality for yourself and that you will be Spirit led as you are a child of God and all children of God are led by the Spirit, that you will be led by 'Gods kindness.' Romans 2:4 To do what you must do and that if you need power then power will be supplied, if you need help then help will be supplied and if you need love then all of Gods love that is so wide, deep and long for and over you in every way will be supplied along with ours!

Blessing

Crowned One

 

[Coleman13]

^ Mr Nobody, I don't claim to have a perfect answer for this struggle you are going through, but I can say that I believe that in walking out our Faith and filling ourselves with the Holy Spirit we can eventually receive a mental and emotional renewal in much the same way that someone receives a physical healing. Galatians 5 and 6 really ministered to me in this area of my life. Being filled with the Spirit and sharing my burdens with others to support one another.

If the blood of Christ has the power to raise the dead, shouldn't we have faith that he can heal our minds and bodies from these emotions!? I certainly know I do!

I have had much the same struggle as you in this area, but I firmly believe that my fleshly lusts will eventually be replaced with the love that God intends for me to have for one woman. An important thing to realize is that ANY feeling of lust or attraction outside of marriage is the SAME! There is no difference between heterosexual or homosexual lust in God's eyes, let alone any sin that we can commit. A lust, is a lust, is a lust. All sin was covered at the cross, no sin is worse than any other. The only differences or rankings we can place on various "sins" are dictated to us by society and by the enemy in order to enslave us to our own shortcomings. A sexual act outside of wedlock is sin regardless of whether with a man or woman. So just having these feelings change from homosexual to heterosexual is not God's best for our lives, and I don't believe that is what he would have for us. I hope that makes a bit of sense? Hopefully I'm not totally out to lunch on this, but that is some of my belief based on the word of God when it comes to being released of lusts, or various sexual feelings in our lives. I'm praying for you as I persevere in my own battle in this area!

God bless!

 

[anonym00s]

Coleman13,

I know that was directed at Mr. Nobody but

I appreciate your post!! Very encouraging!