Struggling with homosexuality

[Episaw]

Well. I just recently joined this forum and It was so good reading about the stories of all you people. In such a situation such as the one I'm in, it can begin to feel so lonely that it becomes overpowering. I'm a 26yr old guy who has been attracted to guys since I was a kid. Over the years, I just refused to acknowledge it but now, I know where the cause of the problem is. There is a strong need for me to be loved from a male figure and I didn't get that as a child and not necessarily now.

C-hope, congratulations you have hit the nail on the head. For what it is worth, when I discovered this to be central to the issue of homosexuality, I started up a support group for people in the same boat. Together, they would learn to relate to each other and support each other providng the love that they needed from another male without the sex.

I facilitated the group to ensure that everyone would have a shoulder to cry on and through this many came through to wholeness.

Maybe you could pray and ask God if something like that could happen where you are.

 

[C-hope]

C-hope, congratulations you have hit the nail on the head. For what it is worth, when I discovered this to be central to the issue of homosexuality, I started up a support group for people in the same boat. Together, they would learn to relate to each other and support each other providng the love that they needed from another male without the sex.

I facilitated the group to ensure that everyone would have a shoulder to cry on and through this many came through to wholeness.

Maybe you could pray and ask God if something like that could happen where you are.

Thanks for your reply. I wasn't expecting it. It was a realization that I honestly always knew but I guess the pain of just confronting that truth made me deny it for so long. Of course, the Devil used that to his advantage and here I am now. I live in a very secular city and although I tried to look for support groups where I live, I didn't find any. I am still searching though and hope God guides me to one.

 

[tundrawolf]

Guys... I have been celibate for more than 14 years. I almost screwed up a few minutes ago. It's so not worth it. What about the next time it hits me? Homosexuality is so unlike anything else. I have been addicted to drugs to the point of overdosing nearly fatally twice. Nothing comes close. 14 years after my last contact and the desire is as strong as ever. I go months and years of struggling and then I fold. I do not remember my childhood at all. i do not want to be this way any more. What the hell happened to me when i was a child?

 

[vgb87]

Hi guys. I am a twenty-five yr old guy living in the southern US. I have had successful heterosexual, fulfilling relationships in the past. however, when I am alone/lonely I have these unnatural desires as well. I started struggling with this as a preteen and the situation was made worse when I received sexual advances from an older gentleman and allowed myself to partake in bad acts. Either way, I desire to be extremely close to my God and Savior, I want to overcome homosexual desires and live a full life. I want/need a wife and kids some day. I've always known that's what I've wanted. My heart always and my mind sometimes understand that, but this flesh can't get it. Please pray for our deliverance from this. I will do the same. God Bless and loves you all.

 

[johndunn]

does anyone know if convertion therapy works. I really need to stop these bad thoughts. I don't consider myself fully gay but not exclusively heterosexual. I pray daily to free myself but the thoughts attack me. I'm not prepared to live like this, I know I must change. I have thought about trying hypnotherapy, which is not a thing a good christian should be using, but if it works it would make me so happy, and rid me of an even bigger sin. all the best

 

[RichardKeith]

I know your struggle, I have battled and failed, battle and failed, battle and failed until.....I fully surrendered the battle in faith to Jesus Christ. He rolled back my guilt, shame and fellings of condemnation, and will do the same for you. Though I suffered the lost of marriage as a result of my sin, a healing process has begun. I am learning I tried to overcome something within my inner heart I could not possibly ever overcome on my own strength ( that's why I was doomed to failure over and over again).
Besides a battle against same sex attractions, I am learning a far greater need...... God wants to address is my masculine idenity which has been battered by the lies I believed about myself, or that our modern godless society has told me . Bro....is not just about something being cleansed and purified in our lives, but an essence of godliness exploding within our soul as we reach out in a trusting friendship with Christ.
You are created a man......and a man you are! The confusion will clear up as you focus your heart and mind on the Word of God, the Love of God, and believers in the faith who have learned that GOD's grace is able to work in our weakness.
Bro......do what it takes to break for all influences that feed your lust. Instead of going on a food fast, fast from those visual images which feed your lust, but it wont do you much good unless your heart is turned passionately to Christ...trusting that HE will meet you exactly where you are today.
I hope this is a cold drink of pure fresh water for your thirsty soul.

 

[tundrawolf]

I totally understand how you feel. I've struggled with homosexuality for most of my life, and I lived a gay lifestyle until about six years ago, and through celibacy and self control, and of course a good solid relationship with God, I'm now Im able to live a good Christian lifestyle free of homosexuality.

Of Course Its not a 'hetero' lifestyle like you asked about. Like you, Ive never had any interest in the opposite sex either, and I honestly dont see any point in trying to be something that Im not. Besides, you dont have to be heterosexual to be free of homosexuality. Thats the last thing you should be worrying about. The important thing here is to get rid of the sin in your life, and all the problems you have, all the worries and concerns, just surrender it all to God, and keep him in the center of your life.

Remember God has a plan for you, and he has a reason for everything.
Ill pray for you!

Why does God do this to us

All my life I have only known pain and frustration

I am so tired of it

Please God, not one more day

Not one more day!

 

[johndunn]

Ive been using hypnotherapy for about 9 days and it seems to be working, I won't go into details. I been using the Paul Clinton program called "100% heterosexual" and I have lost the thoughts of lust, and is if by magic feel different, just like I was many years ago. I've nothing against gay men at all, it's just something that's not quite right for me at the moment, as if my brain cells were getting mixed up, and now I feel myself again. A placebo effect wouldn't have lasted nine days for me so I think it works. I also feel closer to God because I have the courage to go ahead and make changes.

 

[tundrawolf]

I know your struggle, I have battled and failed, battle and failed, battle and failed until.....I fully surrendered the battle in faith to Jesus Christ. He rolled back my guilt, shame and fellings of condemnation, and will do the same for you. Though I suffered the lost of marriage as a result of my sin, a healing process has begun. I am learning I tried to overcome something within my inner heart I could not possibly ever overcome on my own strength ( that's why I was doomed to failure over and over again).
Besides a battle against same sex attractions, I am learning a far greater need...... God wants to address is my masculine idenity which has been battered by the lies I believed about myself, or that our modern godless society has told me . Bro....is not just about something being cleansed and purified in our lives, but an essence of godliness exploding within our soul as we reach out in a trusting friendship with Christ.
You are created a man......and a man you are! The confusion will clear up as you focus your heart and mind on the Word of God, the Love of God, and believers in the faith who have learned that GOD's grace is able to work in our weakness.
Bro......do what it takes to break for all influences that feed your lust. Instead of going on a food fast, fast from those visual images which feed your lust, but it wont do you much good unless your heart is turned passionately to Christ...trusting that HE will meet you exactly where you are today.
I hope this is a cold drink of pure fresh water for your thirsty soul.

I don't know. I know my father did horrible things to me. I always hated him and I still struggle today with hating him.

I know that God is in control of ALL things. So to me, God is the reason the things happened to me. It's like... Trying to turn to a man who raped me, who violated me, who humiliated me, who hurt me. And asking him for help. That's how I feel. I don't know what else to do.

 

[RichardKeith]

Responding to your question johndunn,
based upon my journey which has lead me significant change, NO conversion therapy does not lead to significant transformation. Though its permise may seemed to be based in scripture...its goal purports to convert from form homosexuality to heterosexuality.
However the deeper issues of your masculine idenity
The root cause of erotizing male friendships (expecially with masculine dudes), and understanding where these "bad thoughts" orginate
The reconstruction of how you see yourself as a man in a positive health sense
ARE ALL JUST A FEW ISSUES YOUR HEART DESPERATELY WANT ANSWERS FOR.
BRO...YOUR JOURNEY ISN'T ONLY ONE OF CONVERSION TO HETEROSEXUALITY........
For me, I has to realize something was very broken within me, which only Christ could reconstruct. There is a new creation as a man awaiting you. You are asking the right questions. Stop accepting what the world tells you concerning what to do about your same sex attractions ( pursue, enjoy, its the way you were made) Its all a part of the great lie to get you to surrender the image of God [Gen 1:26] in which you were made. You stated, I am not prepared to kive like this, I know I must change." Your journey has lead you to one of the most powerful sign post. Don't let your lust distract you and divert you to be a mirage seeker....I think you know what I mean!
Christ has no interest in sucking your brains out via hypnotherapy......and reprogramming you so that "your will" is by passed and you life life as a zombie.
Lasting change involves both your mind being renewed, and your will being empowered through a dynaminc living relationship through faith exercised toward the ressurected Christ.
Bro.....I am not a profession, however.........my painful journey over many many years has taught me the things I share with you....and as an authentic man I share them with you. If you are totally serious to excellerate your journey out of the dark wilderness of homosexuality consider the following books
Healing the Masculine Soul by Gordon Darby
You may weep as you read this book, and find yourself being spoken about from a perspective of a Loving Creator who know's your brokeness and offers healing to your confuised sexual identity.
Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality by Joseph Nicolosi, Ph. D.
Though a tough read, his book begins with contrasting "gay homosexuality" (men yeilding and embracing a gay identity) with "the non-gay homosexual" ( men who experience homosexual tendencies, but regect its the way they were created...and desire to whole and health in their sexuality, and are willing to begin the journey toward change.
I pray you will receive this not just an answer to your question regarding "conversion therapy and hypnotherapy"......but as a Christian man pointing you out of a torturous desert of walking in circles without hope.
Take courage and do what a man does best,
RichardKeith

 

[RichardKeith]

Consider this....
If God is the reason why you experienced an abusive father, why then would God send His Son Jesus Christ to suffer an unspeakabe death and bear the death and punishment for all sin (including your father's)?
Does that really make sense, God brought about hurt in your your life through a cruel and uncaring father, then sends His Beloved, sinless holy son to sacrifice his life through a paingul death on the cross to heal you from the wound your dad caused in your lif?.
Ask yourself.....what kind of torcherous GOD is it who purposely causes pain, rejection and inner hurt.......then turns right around and offers to help you out of the turmoil and hurt you are trap in?
This sounds to me this is a better discription of your Father....
Embrace a faith in Christ which allows you see beyond your imperfect dad, and begin to recognize a Perfect Heavenly Father whose heart is broken in love for you and desperately desires for you come to HIM and allow HIS Perfect Love to touch and heal the heart of the broken boy inside of you.
I am sad for you .....and angry about the confusion which seeks to cloud out the truth of Christ's love for you. I did that in my life for so many years!
Take courage, and do what men do best.....rise up and fight! Don't be defeated by your pain, bitterness and confusion. Christ can begin to heal these deep wounds....I know for the process has already begun in my.
Refuse to allow your negative feeling to hold as a prisioner, while throwing you a few dry crumbs of as you act out your samesex attractions. drowning out the pain you feel never begins the healing process. IT ONLY BUYS YOU MORE TIME UNTIL THE HEALING TREATMENT AND INNER TRANSFORMATION HAS BEEN EMBRACED BY YOU THROUGH YOUR FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST.
Be brave and begin the journey towards forgiveness
RichardKeith

 

[RichardKeith]

I am glad to know you have found a release from the inner conflict, guilt and shame you have been trapped by. I hope your experience continues and so that you can, "Go ahead and make changes"
I humbly encourage you to consider; being 100% heterosexual requires being a man made in the image of God (Gen 1:26) Its this gift of "His Image" which the evil one seeks to steal, kill and destroy with in you and I. This is the procee of change I find myself in, and anyone at this point of their journey is someone journeing the same road I journey upon. For me it is encouraging to know I AM NOT ALONE!

I pray you find the Holy Spirit's as you guide to lead you into all truth regarding the restoration and transformation process so that all things which have come to damage and devaule your image as a man will be put down and be brought to nothing
I bless you with healthy Bro friendships
I bless you godly Christlike men in your life who modle "His Image" in way which encourage and challenge you to press into new territories as a authentic man.
I bless you with the courage and a brave heart to do what men do best when we connect with our strength in Christ.....we fight, we war, we contend, we press forward every keeping our eyes on the AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH.
I bless....because it is in the power of our tongue to bless or curse.....
richardkeith

 

[RichardKeith]

I would highly value an update in 10 days or so
Thanks
I awoke this morning considering how free I'd be in the battlefield of my mind. If it is possible for me

 

[RichardKeith]

Just wondering if there is an update on the hypno therepy?

 

[sp82]

You are not alone. It is definitely a struggle to be attracted to the same sex and to be a Christian. I am 30 years old and have been struggling with it for a while. I was raised in a very conservative church(father was a preacher) and was raised knowing that homosexuality is a sin. I did not fully realize that I was attracted to men until after I was married. Before getting married I dated several women but I have never been attracted to them; they have alll basically have been friendships. I now have been married for 7 years and have 3 kids. I love having a family and would not trade it for the world; however, I still desire to be in a relationship with a person that I am attracted to. I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I am hoping that opening up about it will help some. I hope and pray that one day the desire will go away.

 

[dominic12]

Hey everyone. I just want to say thanks for everything you guys have shared. I can very much relate with you. This road is definitely not easy. The path to following Christ rarely is, but there's also much joy with obedience. And it helps to know that I'm not alone in this struggle.

Do you know any other forums or sites that can help or offer support for us? I know the Setting Captives Free website has a helpful course called "Door of Hope" that I heard is awesome. I also recently found out about google+ communities. There's one called "Christians Struggling with Homosexuality." If you have a google account, maybe we can have fellowship and accountability there as well.

 

[oosbey1]

If you want freedom from homosexuality please go to this website called " setting captives free". Find the door of hope class. It is 100% free and is a true blessing. Through their help and the mercy of God I found freedom. =D

 

[JThomas]

Sounds like we are in the same boat! I too have no desire to live like that, and struggle with exactly the same thing. At the moment I am taking it day by day, lots of prayer, and trying to keep my thoughts and body pure. I also struggle with the same addiction and I have to say the biggest thing at least for me is to recognize everything for what it is. It's so easy to slip down that slope, but the more I admit what it is to myself the more I realize how sinful it really is. I am really just starting this journey, so I know how you feel.
I will be praying for you! Stay strong!

 

[college4christ81]

I'm 31 years old, and I too was raised in a very Christian home. But I was always interested in pretty girls from a young age, and it use to be a very harmless interest. But as I grew older I started to notice girls more sexually. I also started to touch at a young age and I didn't understand why I liked it. Soon just doing that wasn't enough, I had to see nude girls, and then I started to find out I could find what I wanted in inappropriate content. For many years inappropriate content satisfied my needs. But inappropriate content was my drug and soon I wasn't getting a high from inappropriate content, so I started experimenting with having cyber sex with guys. Again that filled my need for a high. Again years have gone by, but then I went in the Navy, and I was lonely, so I started searching out other men to do things with. Sure I had sex with girls before, but it was easier finding another guy who just wanted sexual favors from another guy and there was a thrill to it I enjoyed. But this last week over Christmas God called me back to him, and God is always calling me back to him but each time I relapse and try to come back to God I get a better sense that my sin shouldn't define me. I know I'm not gay or homosexual, because it started with just seeking a better sexual pleasure since others got to old. I was taking my sexual desires and trying to be my own God rather then find control through the power of God. Now I just live a day at a time, and pray to God for healing for everything I've done. I really wish I could find a Christian girl to marry, but I don't want to bring my issues into a marriage, and I fear the day I have to tell my soul mate all the perverted things I've done because I was selfish for my own pleasure. I've tried reading some books, I went to a support group before I went in the Navy, and nothing seems to work to close this chapter in my life. Right now all I have to hold on to is that God loves me, I know he has a girl out there for me, and I have faith all this God will use to bring glory for his name. If I can go this week with no inappropriate content, no touching yourself that will be God working in my life.

 

[HelpMeChrist]

We are all made in His image... the truth in your heart and your love for God is all that matters...