Struggling with Christmas

[Neagley]

Hello.... I am just struggling with up coming Christmas and New Year.

I work over full time hours to provide for my kids as a single mum. I'm perpetually exhausted , Christmas just adds to an already overloaded schedule.

I invited my patents for Xmas day . My dad has contributed something for snack type food , by mum absolutely nothing (they are divorced) I mentioned today that I would like help with veg prep or something and she just said that she didn't expect me to do a lot, just was glad to be invited as she is lonely. She has some health problems and it loading me with responsibility to help her - I feel bad ! My relationship with her is not good, she is very narcissistic. She has never been there for me. On Xmas day I will cook , clean up after everyone, drive round to pick them up and take them home . I'll have no help at all.

My sister told me to get lost a few years ago and is now out of work. My mum and dad shower her with help. She cut me out if her life because she thought I had everything and she had nothing. I've put myself under a lot to study to make it through 2 promotions so that I am able to financial provide for my kids , she believed that o for all this handed to me on a plate.

My dad invited my mum and sister to his on boxing day (an extra holiday in the UK)
But not me

I'm so upset.

I feel a really low , I have massive abandonment issues surfacing and just feel about to snap.

My boyfriend also hates Xmas and I have been hoping he will spend time with me , he has promised to come Christmas day. I was hoping for more time with him - but he's on call working and needs to see his family.

I used to be a Christian but I've had some much awful things to deal with - I just couldn't see how he was helping me.

I want to go to a church service on Xmas eve to try to reconnect ... but I know I'll sob through the entire service .

I feel lost in a sea of happy people excited to spend time with family and here I am dreading it. Thank-you for listening to me xxx

 

[God is good]

Sorry you're struggling but just know how much God loves you and you can pray to Jesus and ask for His help and to reconnect. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[Tolworth John]

May i suggest that you do a simple sunday lunch. A roast of some kind, frozen potatoes and frozen veg, a bought pudding.
Give jobs to people even if its, Mum please clear the table for me. Dad could you put... away.

Make a new years resolution to attend and be involved in a church for the company, friendship etc.

Do you really want to be at your Dads with your sister there? She was left out for Christmasday, could it be that Dad is trying to balance things up?

 

[Almost there]

I avoid Christmas stuff if at all possible. I don't have kids at home so it's pretty easy.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Hello.... I am just struggling with up coming Christmas and New Year.

I work over full time hours to provide for my kids as a single mum. I'm perpetually exhausted , Christmas just adds to an already overloaded schedule.

I invited my patents for Xmas day . My dad has contributed something for snack type food , by mum absolutely nothing (they are divorced) I mentioned today that I would like help with veg prep or something and she just said that she didn't expect me to do a lot, just was glad to be invited as she is lonely. She has some health problems and it loading me with responsibility to help her - I feel bad ! My relationship with her is not good, she is very narcissistic. She has never been there for me. On Xmas day I will cook , clean up after everyone, drive round to pick them up and take them home . I'll have no help at all.

Make sure you get some sleep, and then pace yourself. The hectic pace is what makes Christmas season so stressful. And focus on the positives. That will keep your spirits up.

 

[Robban]

Hello.... I am just struggling with up coming Christmas and New Year.

I work over full time hours to provide for my kids as a single mum. I'm perpetually exhausted , Christmas just adds to an already overloaded schedule.

I invited my patents for Xmas day . My dad has contributed something for snack type food , by mum absolutely nothing (they are divorced) I mentioned today that I would like help with veg prep or something and she just said that she didn't expect me to do a lot, just was glad to be invited as she is lonely. She has some health problems and it loading me with responsibility to help her - I feel bad ! My relationship with her is not good, she is very narcissistic. She has never been there for me. On Xmas day I will cook , clean up after everyone, drive round to pick them up and take them home . I'll have no help at all.

My sister told me to get lost a few years ago and is now out of work. My mum and dad shower her with help. She cut me out if her life because she thought I had everything and she had nothing. I've put myself under a lot to study to make it through 2 promotions so that I am able to financial provide for my kids , she believed that o for all this handed to me on a plate.

My dad invited my mum and sister to his on boxing day (an extra holiday in the UK)
But not me

I'm so upset.

I feel a really low , I have massive abandonment issues surfacing and just feel about to snap.

My boyfriend also hates Xmas and I have been hoping he will spend time with me , he has promised to come Christmas day. I was hoping for more time with him - but he's on call working and needs to see his family.

I used to be a Christian but I've had some much awful things to deal with - I just couldn't see how he was helping me.

I want to go to a church service on Xmas eve to try to reconnect ... but I know I'll sob through the entire service .

I feel lost in a sea of happy people excited to spend time with family and here I am dreading it. Thank-you for listening to me xxx

It will be good, and you get boxing day off,
put your feet up.

 

[blossom15]

The following isn't meant to be blunt, but helpful - but please ignore if it isn't.

I can't help thinking, who would you really like to come for Christmas day? (with people as they are, not as you'd like them to be).

I think you are expecting a lot from yourself, or possibly this has been other people expecting a lot from you? You sound very capable and conscientious but this sounds pressured when you are a single mum and work hard and you're trying to provide a happy holiday for your children and yourself.

Maybe its a controversial thing to say, but you are free to have, even now, who you would like over for Christmas. You can honour your parents, even if you don't have them for dinner.

What would you like to say to your dad about boxing day too? Perhaps you could write him a letter, even ifyou don't send it. I would have felt hurt too if that had happened to me.

Also, perhaps it would help to write down what you'd like to say to your mum.

Finally, I returned to faith after time away - its not too late if you would like to renew your faith in God.

 

[Neagley]

Thank-you so much for your replies and understanding and for listening. X I do actually feel a little bit more at peace... xxx