Struggling with brain damaged husband

[HisHomeMaker]

Have you tried asking him what exactly it is that he would like to be getting out of church?

Perhaps I have avoided this conversation because I don't want to hear that Hubby doesn't like this church community. My daughter and I have become very involved with this one as she is now a server and in youth group and I am part of a mid-week, home-based fellowship. It would pain us both to leave this church because Daughter and I feel our needs are being met, plus we both feel called to ministries within this church. I wonder what I should do if Hubby wants to go to a different group.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Perhaps I have avoided this conversation because I don't want to hear that Hubby doesn't like this church community. My daughter and I have become very involved with this one as she is now a server and in youth group and I am part of a mid-week, home-based fellowship. It would pain us both to leave this church because Daughter and I feel our needs are being met, plus we both feel called to ministries within this church. I wonder what I should do if Hubby wants to go to a different group.

I understand being entrenched and not wanting to uproot. Especially if you have a daughter involved in Youth.

As difficult a question as it may be to ask, it is worth asking, IMO. That might not even be the issue.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Thanks, Faith, I'll keep you posted.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

We had another chat on the drive home today. He says "no church will do anything for me right now. I don't need church." I guess I'll be going alone most weeks.

 

[Alicia_M]

I've been going to Church alone for a while. The seperation between my hubby and I on this issue hurts, but what I can do is keep going anyway. I pray over it, too. I wrote him a devotional letter today also, so that he might understand what's going on with me. Maybe he can see that what he's been praying over for so long is finally coming to pass.

Prayers for you and yours, HisHomeMaker. *hugs*

 

[FaithPrevails]

We had another chat on the drive home today. He says "no church will do anything for me right now. I don't need church." I guess I'll be going alone most weeks.

I'm sorry, but I suspected that might be the case if he is struggling with some depression issues. IMO, going alone is better than not going at all. It will give you the weekly renewal you need to get through the week with all that you have on your plate.

I've been going to Church alone for a while. The seperation between my hubby and I on this issue hurts, but what I can do is keep going anyway. I pray over it, too. I wrote him a devotional letter today also, so that he might understand what's going on with me. Maybe he can see that what he's been praying over for so long is finally coming to pass.

Prayers for you and yours, HisHomeMaker. *hugs*

Praying over our husbands is the greatest thing we can do for them - especially when they're struggling. I will be praying that your hubby reads the letter and sees the answer to his prayers.

for both of you.

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Alicia, can you tell me what a devotional letter is? I'll pray for you and your husband, too.

I continue to think about this,

"Remember your husband will let you down, A LOT! Mine does now and then even though he is a good-hearted man. Remember who your first love is. Its not your husband, but JESUS. He is your rock and source of love and contentment, not your husband. If you depend on your husband in all his imperfections for fulfillment he will let you down and you will feel your marriage is a mistake. You are in for a bumpy ride, but God gives us marriage not to make us happy, but to teach us to be more like HIM and Holy."

Is it possible that what we do to improve our relationship with God and our involvement in the church becomes independent behaviors that take away from our marriage and drive bigger wedges between our spouses and ourselves? Should I start a new thread for this conversation?

 

[HisHomeMaker]

Hubby is a bit less depressed today. A disability cheque arrived which means we can buy some gifts for our family, after all, this year. Honestly, the kids and I were ok with the idea of keeping Christmas simple this year and celebrating the birth of Christ instead of over-indulging, but Hubby loves giving gifts and so he is happy to use some of "his" money to do this.

Over the last month or so I've spent a lot of time here on this site, reading a Christian book, and studying the Bible. Its been my quiet time. I don't even mention it to Hubby. He's been to church with me once again, but its still the lure of the baking that brings him rather than the sermon.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Thanks for the update HHM. I am continuing to lift you and your family in prayer. Merry Christmas and God bless!

 

[kevind]

I have had the frontal lobe injury and boy could me and my wife tell you some stories. I pray for you and I pray that the lord will touch his soul again and give the hunger back to him for his word and healing.