Struggling to find God

[undershore]

I'm not entirely sure if I'm at the right place, but this was the only "out-reach" section, so here goes.

I've been having problems with believing in God in the last few years. I'll give you some background... both sides of my family are Roman Catholic, and when I was younger I went to a Catholic school and went to church. In 2007, when I was 19, my mother died of cancer. Ever since I've just lost all faith.

My mother was a good person, she believed in God and was very religious. She prayed everyday, she donated money to help those less well off than her and she was a good mother. We all prayed that she'd get better, but she didn't. Why would God have ignored my prayers? Why would he take her away from me so soon? Why didn't he know the pain he was inflicting on my dad, my little brother and me? I know that everyone has to die, but some people get their mothers until they're very old themselves, why didn't I get mine for even 20 years?

I just can't see that a God who is all-loving and all-powerful would allow my mother to die like that, and hurt me so much. I hope that you can shed some light on this, because if God does exist, I can't forgive him.

 

[Van]

Hi Undershore, and welcome to the forum.

Your question is akin to a very often asked question by those who are trying to demonstrate God does not exist. How could a loving God allow so much pain, suffering and death? The Bible says that "all things" work together for good for those who love the Lord, Romans 8:28. So the question we must ask, does this apply to our life subsequent to being saved while still on earth, or does this apply to the surpassing riches of eternal life with our Lord? Did bad things happen to Paul - shipwreck, 39 lashes, stoning, prison, death? Yes - so bad things do happen to "good" people. Does God remove these if we ask in prayer? Not necessarily - Paul prayed and prayed that some affliction, his thorn in the flesh, would be removed, but it was not. Instead God's answer was "My grace is sufficient for you."

I could be wrong, and Lord knows I am wrong many times, but I think you, in your youth, had the wrong expectations for God. That God would not allow bad things to happen to you or your family, and that God would treat you the same as He treats others. Remember when Jesus told the story of the labors, some worked all day, and some worked only the last part, yet both were paid the same, Matthew 20:1-16? To expect to get the same as another is the sin of covetousness.

So why did God create our harsh reality, where pain, suffering and death afflict all people, whether good in our judgment, or bad in our judgment? Remember the story of Job, where the Devil said Job only was devoted to God, because of God's many blessings? And as the story unfolds, certainly Job is bewildered because God has allowed all these bad things to happen to him, but Job stays faithful to the end. When we commit to God, it is a no matter what commitment, through thick and thin. Living a godly life does not guarantee rich blessings in the here and now, but rather it provides the wisdom to make the best of it, no matter our situation. Think about all the Christian missionaries that have died for the Lord. Did you see the movie, Chariots of Fire? The "Flying Scotsman" died in a Japanese concentration camp, but even while there, he touched the lives of others.

May God Bless

 

[drich0150]

If God answered your prayers to your satisfaction, how would that change your relationship with God?

 

[ArteestX]

I just can't see that a God who is all-loving and all-powerful would allow my mother to die like that, and hurt me so much. I hope that you can shed some light on this, because if God does exist, I can't forgive him.

First of all, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I have lost family members I've loved, but I didn't lose a parent when I was as young as that. I cannot imagine how painful that was, so I'm sorry you went through that.

Secondly, I want to be upfront and say that I don't personally believe in God. However, I also don't believe that God (if there is a God) is trying to use suffering and bad experiences to punish us for not praying hard enough, or administer justice about who does and does not deserve bad things happening to them.

I think there is a fundamental randomness built into the universe, and sometimes really crappy things happen to people. In the end, I'm just a mortal, finite human being who doesn't have all the answers. All I know is that I am truly sorry for your loss.

 

[DannyOcean]

Very sorry for your loss. My wife lost her father when she was 20 and I had to help her through that process. I know how hard it can be on everyone involved. I hope that time helps heal your wounds.

 

[Quasicentennial]

The story of Adam and Eve is a simple story but a story that needs to be analysed to understand why God allowed his curse and Satan to affect innocent lives both Christian and non-Christian.
Sin is a difficult subject to understand if studied like a school subject through our eyes and ears, that's why God used his curse and Satan to release the conquering faith inside us to fight sin with the help of his son, the spirit of Jesus where the holy spirit can bring healing that is more than just nutrients and antioxidants from healthy food and non-cooked food such as frozen berries. Once you have accepted Jesus, your life is temporary on Earth but permanent in heaven - these are not ordinary words in a book, they are living words promised by God in the bible. Evil must be experienced that is felt to understand and control, like taming a wild animal inside you. Everyone suffers but no one can survive without discipline and God's ten commandments that includes believing in him with the fullness of your faith can bring you and all Christians you know together in heaven with new perfect bodies without God's curse and Satan's power of evil.

 

[ephraimanesti]

I'm not entirely sure if I'm at the right place, but this was the only "out-reach" section, so here goes.

I've been having problems with believing in God in the last few years. I'll give you some background... both sides of my family are Roman Catholic, and when I was younger I went to a Catholic school and went to church. In 2007, when I was 19, my mother died of cancer. Ever since I've just lost all faith.

My mother was a good person, she believed in God and was very religious. She prayed everyday, she donated money to help those less well off than her and she was a good mother. We all prayed that she'd get better, but she didn't. Why would God have ignored my prayers? Why would he take her away from me so soon? Why didn't he know the pain he was inflicting on my dad, my little brother and me? I know that everyone has to die, but some people get their mothers until they're very old themselves, why didn't I get mine for even 20 years?

I just can't see that a God who is all-loving and all-powerful would allow my mother to die like that, and hurt me so much. I hope that you can shed some light on this, because if God does exist, I can't forgive him.

MY DEAR SISTER,

May God bless you with His Presence and heal your grief with His Love!

i have learned from joyous personal experience that God is indeed "all-loving and all-powerful." He has demonstrated His Love and His Power in my life and the lives of my family over and over and over in the last 10 years or so since i allowed Him to come into my life.

i also have learned from bitter personal experience that we live in a fallen and damaged world, ruled by the effects of sin and death. Your pain, grief, and loss is multiplied by 8 or so billion as we speak, as pain, grief, and loss is our common heritage in this fallen world. "The wages of sin is death"--even for those who are living exemplary lives for and in God. God does not normally override universal laws regarding disease and death--the nature of the fallen material universe--any more than He overrides gravity or any of the other laws of physics. He does, however, act as our Comforter when the material laws cause us suffering and pain--as they are presently for you.

It needs to be noted that God suffers along with us--suffers as He did over the death of His own Son--Jesus Christ--who died that our world might be redeemed and transformed back into the perfection of God's original Creative Act.

REAL death has been vanquished at Christ's Resurrection; however the illusionary "death" of our mortal bodies continues until the RE-creation of all things in the fullness of time. May you find peace in the knowledge that your mother--beloved of God (as are you)--is now at peace with her beloved Creator.

Please do not, my sister, judge God's Love for you and for your mother by her suffering and death. Those things are now behind her and an eternity basking in God's Love and Light lies ahead.

GOD'S PEACE TO YOU--MAY YOU FIND HIM SOON!

ABBA'S BRAT,
ephraim

 

[Godlife]

Hi Undershore

The fact that you are questioning the existence of God and seeing him as not being an all-loving and all-powerful God, shows that you actually already believe in God although you are very cross with Him at the moment. The fact that you are questioning and seeking for advice shows that the Holy Spirit is working in you (powerfully at that). My heart breaks for you for your loss. There isn't much a person can say to bring acceptance and understanding.
One thing that Jesus brings us, is HOPE. You say that your mother loved God. Know that she is with Him. That her future is ensured. That is the kind of hope that Jesus brings. People who die without God has NO hope for eternity. My darling girl, eternity is a very long time. How wonderful to know that your mom is safe and secure for the rest of eternity!!! Her work was done here. Think of all the people she impacted and helped throughout her life. Think of the legacy she left behind in you and your brother. Without hope a person and his/her life is seen as a mere spec of dust in the sceme of things. Here one day gone tomorrow. God does not see us that way. He loved us so much that He died on the cross for us. He became fully human as Jesus, so He knows our hurt, fears, pain everything, not only because He is God but because He became fully human. Jesus knew pain and heartache. One of the shortest verses in the bible says:
John11:35 Jesus wept. That was after the death of his friend Lazarus. (which He raised from the dead)


We don't understand everything. I know that God wouldn't mind if you are angry. He loves you as a father loves his children. God loves you no matter what!!
Romans 8: 38-39For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Not even death!!

God is with you allways. He was with your mom as well: Mattew 28:20 And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Take hope in the knowledge that your mom has merely finshed a phase that all of us have to go through and is now busy fullfilling her purpose which is to spend eternity with God. How glorious!! I'm sure she is waiting for you with love and exitement in her heart.

God bless you and may He bring you peace and acceptance

 

[seashale76]

I'm not entirely sure if I'm at the right place, but this was the only "out-reach" section, so here goes.

I've been having problems with believing in God in the last few years. I'll give you some background... both sides of my family are Roman Catholic, and when I was younger I went to a Catholic school and went to church. In 2007, when I was 19, my mother died of cancer. Ever since I've just lost all faith.

My mother was a good person, she believed in God and was very religious. She prayed everyday, she donated money to help those less well off than her and she was a good mother. We all prayed that she'd get better, but she didn't. Why would God have ignored my prayers? Why would he take her away from me so soon? Why didn't he know the pain he was inflicting on my dad, my little brother and me? I know that everyone has to die, but some people get their mothers until they're very old themselves, why didn't I get mine for even 20 years?

I just can't see that a God who is all-loving and all-powerful would allow my mother to die like that, and hurt me so much. I hope that you can shed some light on this, because if God does exist, I can't forgive him.

We all must endure suffering in this life. It is living for the world and indulging in our passions that leads us to death. We are dead in our sins. Your mother's faith should be an inspiration to you. From what you say, she endured to the very end of her life with her faith in Christ intact, and she was looking forward to eternal life in Christ. Let her be your example. None of us know when our lives will be taken from us, and we should look toward God with our own repentance in mind.

Please read these articles, as they address your concerns:
Afflictions
What Is Most Important

May God guide you to Himself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmiDev34LgQ

 

[aiki]

I've been having problems with believing in God in the last few years. I'll give you some background... both sides of my family are Roman Catholic, and when I was younger I went to a Catholic school and went to church. In 2007, when I was 19, my mother died of cancer. Ever since I've just lost all faith.

My mother was a good person, she believed in God and was very religious. She prayed everyday, she donated money to help those less well off than her and she was a good mother. We all prayed that she'd get better, but she didn't. Why would God have ignored my prayers?

What makes you think God ignored your prayers? If you ask your Dad for something and he says, "No," is he ignoring you?

Why would he take her away from me so soon?

Only God Himself can answer this one. Not a very satisfying answer, is it? Unfortunately, He doesn't always give us all the reasons why He does a thing. Sometimes it seems that He wants us to trust that He is still good and loving even when it is hard to believe it.

Why didn't he know the pain he was inflicting on my dad, my little brother and me?

Why do you think He didn't know the pain you were suffering at the loss of your mother? Because He didn't prevent her death and your suffering? Maybe your Mom's death is not about you and what you suffered, but about God taking your Mom home to be with Him. If heaven is what the Bible says it is, your Mom isn't looking down from heaven wishing she were still with her family. She is free forever from pain, sorrow, sin and darkness and lives in the awesome, joyful presence of her Maker. This is not bad thing - for her. In fact, it is the very best thing that can ever happen to anyone who loves God.

But, you hurt at the loss of your mother. That's normal and necessary. Your hurt isn't certain proof of God's unkindness, however. He didn't do things they way you would have liked, but as far as your Mom is concerned, He did for her the very best of things. Being with Him is better than being with you. This may be hard to understand, but its true.

Do you really think that there is ever a good time for someone you love dearly to die? It is just as painful whether one's mother dies at 80 or 40.

I know that everyone has to die, but some people get their mothers until they're very old themselves, why didn't I get mine for even 20 years?

Only God knows.

I just can't see that a God who is all-loving and all-powerful would allow my mother to die like that, and hurt me so much.

Is there some way she could have died that wouldn't have been painful to you? Is there nothing comforting about knowing your Mom is blissfully happy in heaven? Does it not console you to know that it is possible to see her in heaven again someday?

Your pain is a testament to your love for your Mom. In this respect it is a very good thing. Don't let your pain twist you into a hateful person. From what you've indicated, I don't think your Mom would want you to feel as you do toward the God she loved and served with her life.

Sickness and Death were never part of God's original Creation. They are the consequence of Sin, which entered into the human experience through Mankind's disobedience toward God. Fortunately, because God is a loving God, He has made a way to transcend the consequence of Sin. He died on a cross for you and I so that we might live with Him in heaven for all eternity. This is not the effort of an evil, cruel God, but of a God who loves His creatures very much.

I hope that you can shed some light on this, because if God does exist, I can't forgive him.

You are the only one who suffers from your unforgiving spirit. Unforgiveness produces bitterness, and bitterness produces hatred, and hatred destroys. I would urge you to take a different path.

Peace.

 

[salida]

God didn't ignore her prayers at all. God is sovereign and has decided to take her home-its that simple. God has three answers, yes, no, wait. When we pray, we pray for Gods will-its Gods plan and game and its all about Him not us. Also, when our work is done on earth-its time to go home.

 

[salida]

God does exist but remember He isn't out butler. He doesn't answer our prayers according to our whims and what we want. He knows what is best for us more than we know ourselves. Suggest resources about Gods existence: www.TheBibleProofBook.com, read the book, The Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell; Josh originally was trying to prove the bible not being true but it backfired on him so he went from an agnostic to a christian. Examine the Evidence by Muncaster (a former athiest). And www.equip.org - christian research institute and www.christiananswers.net Yes, life hurts but my trials have gotten me closer to God and he walks me through my trials.

Biblical Circumstantial Evidence (Scratching the Surface Only)

Internal Evidences
Prophesies that are confirmed within Bible

- Life of Christ
The Tribe of Judah, Gen 49:10 - Luke 3:23-28
(Genesis was written 4004 BC to 1689 BC)
(Luke's time period is 60-70 AD)

Royal Line of David, Jer 23:5 -Matt 1:1
(Jeremiah 760 to 698 BC)/(Matthew 60-70 AD)

Born of a Virgin, Isaiah 7:14/Matt 1:18-23
(Isaiah 760 to 698 BC)/(60-70 AD)

**I can list at least 20 more of these.
-Rise of Empires
In the book of Daniel, Chapter 2 - four kingdoms are described in the interpretation of the dream of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon: Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greek - Daniel 8:21, 10:20) and a fourth great kingdom to follow - part iron and clay - which is the Roman Empire - during this empire Christ came and the church was established - Daniel 2:44.

-Historical Accuracy
The Bible is loaded with historical statements concerning events hundreds of years ago, yet has not been proven incorrect on any.
(Bible compared to other ancient documents):
New Testament - starts at 25 years - between original and first surviving copies
Homer - starts at 500 years
Demosthenes - at 1400 years
Plato - at 1200 years
Caesar - at 1000 years

Number of Manuscript Copies
New Testament - 5,686
Homer - 643
Demosthenes - 200
Plato - 7
Caesar - 10

Consistency
Written by at least 40 men over a period of time exceeding 1400 years, and has no internal inconsistencies.



Claim of Inspiration
It claims to be spoken by God, 2 Tim 3:16-17). No other religious book makes such claims.

External Evidences
(Prophesies Outside the Bible)
These cities were prophesied to be destroyed and never be built again.
Nineveh - Nahum 1:10, 3:7,15, Zephaniah 2:13-14
Babylon - Isaiah 13:1-22)
Tyre (Ezekiel 26:1-28)

Bible before Science
He hangs the earth on nothing - Job 26:7
(Job was written at least 1000 years ago - some scholars think it could be even 3000 years ago)
Note: Man only knew this for 350 years
Earth is a sphere, Isaiah 40:22
Air has weight, Job 28:25
Gravity - Job 26:7, Job 38:31-33
Winds blow in cyclones, Eccl 1:6

Documents that Prove Bible is True
Gilgamesh Epic, The Sumerian King List, Mari Tablets, Babylonian Chronicles

Archealogoical Finds
Excavations of Ur, Location of Zoar, Ziggurats and the foundation of Tower of Babel

 

[gohst]

I will keep you in my prayers undershore

 

[Dionysiou]

this life is but a passing mist, here one day gone the next. accept it friends. your lot in life is to follow God, not complain about how hard you got it and waste precious time. Everybody loses loved ones, many are worse off then you are. God will not answer every prayer you want Him too. Do you know why? because if you are not asking In His will, then you ask amiss. again it comes down to how close you are to God. How much can you hear the Holy Spirit.

 

[tavarish]

It's quite horrid that some people quote the OP and say it's a test of her belief. Others say she's not holy enough for God to hear (or something to that extent).

That is ridiculous.

Her mother died to an illness that affects millions worldwide. It's not a test of faith by any measure. OP, if you regard it as a very unfortunate event that happened as a result of choices coupled with chance, it will become much easier over time. The notion that a supernatural force either did this to her or allowed it to happen without a subsequent explanation is something very difficult to bear, and can distort reality quite quickly. Nothing in life is certain, and it is often unpredictable, unrelenting and unpleasant. But I urge you to think about what made you feel good about the time you shared together, and it will help. Time heals all wounds. Although I can't say I've been in your position, I can empathize and I truly wish you well.