Struggling Christian

[BlessedBasics]

Here I go on my stroll back to christ. My life full of strife and self doubt. I'm to stout to let this bother me. I see the truth or I thought I did. Just another kid with a head full of dreams, watch it, I scream as I steam by . I'm running to the beat of my own drum. Come if you want or get left behind.out shined I thought, as I fought off thoughts of distraught.
Caught off guard I told my self. I've delt with these demons before.
What do they have in store that I'm not used to. Another boo, hoo, you won't hear me cry as I fight tears back. I think, not this time jack .Your not going to crack me. I've seen to much, distrust,disgust of our own kind. You can't shine with these feeling in your heart. We've got to start a change in our own mind to let the Lord shine, in his own way. we should have nothing to say except praise. No judgement or guessing just doing whats right. Letting the Light shine thru you, to reveal the True you. A child of god, in his own likeness, the briteness you show will have no ending. So begin the begining with giveing it to the Lord and he'll be sure to guied you thru.


New to the site and returning to the lord after I don't know what. Writing make me feel better maybe it will help somone some how. Thank you and please pray for my family and I Michael & Amber Ford

 

[BlessEwe]

I will be praying for you and Welcome to CF.

I have found the harder I try to do something I fail, because I am trying to do it in my own strength. When I just leave it at the feet of Christ ( daily sometimes by the moment) and have faith things tend to calm down inside me. I can not fight the battle, it is not my fight as Jesus took that with Him on the cross. Giving it to Him, peace comes in and then the light. Jesus doesn't go up and down on the roller coaster of emotions as we do, He is our rock waiting for us. Lean on Him and turn it over. I will also encourage you to hang out here on the board there are wonderful members here who go through the same things as you and I. Support is so important, and there is a great group in recovery. Check over in mental health, they have several daily check ins..

 

[BlessedBasics]

Thank you so much. I seen the blessings in my box. I haven't read about them yet but just seeing bleesings in my box lifted my spirts. Writing has always helped me, but at the same time all my writings are usually sad. So I'm excited to write some uplifting things. Thank you again.

 

[Criada]

Welcome

Your writing is excellent.. so vibrant and full of emotion.. thank you for sharing that.
And it is great to hear of someone returning to jesus.. I'm a bit astray myself at the moment, and it's encouraging to see you on the road back.

Keep going, and keep writing, you have a talent which I'm sure will be used to communicate God's love. It's good to have you here!

 

[BlessedBasics]

That makes me feel good. I have alot of poetry i've wrote but never shared. They just come out. it's neat to hear you say it's full of emotion because for some reason I'm always crying when it comes out. I'm always scared to read it to people because when i read it back no matter how long it's been I cry. Thank you.

 

[BlessedBasics]

Join my path back to his staff and rod we shod, To long ago. It shows in the daily holes in my life. Like a kite in the wind our sin keeps us on the up and down. Drowning in our sorrow, living on borrowd time. All the while this bell chimes in my head, Listen you can hear his word being said. we know what it takes to shine, To be brined in the love of the Lord, whos sword will protect us from ourselves. Delve into this vast cast of life to learn this to will pass and only his love will last. Give it to me I decree and in return you recieve eternity.

 

[BlessedBasics]

Back on the path today, as my struggle gives way to a new and beautiful day. Those who pray, make me smile today. I say, I feel the prayer working inside me, pushing out my thoughts of distraught. I was caught in the middle of. Your faith has help me start building my own faith again, running out this sin, that lives within me. I see clearly now. This is How it's done. Not by one but all. Thank you Lord for picking me up during my fall. I'll keep the prayer call going and keep showing my love for you. I want to be true and blue no longer. Grow me stronger and my knowledge longer for you lord. Strike this same cord in the hearts of the others hurting and take their blue too. Amen

 

[Criada]

You're going strong, moving along, keep on praying, loving, giving... time to start really living. Don't get distracted, remember what attracted, day by day staying true - remember we are here for you.

(Don't have the talent for this kind of poetry - but the sentiment is true )

 

[BlessedBasics]

I like that. Still Smiling.. I feel a since of accomplishment when I'm finished writing somthing. Even though it's just a little thing I think, I need it because it allways feels like theres to much to finish every day. I'm trying to give it to the lord the last few days. I've slept so much better even though I start crying when I write like this. Don't know why, I feel like I cry at every sad commercial or show I see. I'm just going to keep praying. We moved out to the country a little over a year ago and I think I miss the socialization of town. I appreciate the conversation.
I'll post some of my older poetry . Really only my wife has seen it..

Days pass as hours Fly and minutes Roll by.
Time is consumed into the Darkness of time Ending.
Eating unto it self to recreate what time is.

By Michael Ford​

 

[BlessedBasics]

I wrote this 7 or 8 years ago at another sad time.

The Gray Area

When does one cross the line of the mind into the gray area.
The area of no matter, no matter what I try it fails! No matter what I do good or bad there's all ways someone not happy with what I've done. My account of this short lived life of mine, Hid behind the darkness which no eyes can see, no people to peep. my gray area, my place to hide from the crime from the passion in my heart that thrives to, to what? To Die? To Live? Yeah that's right Live or is it. Or is this the story I know to tell so I'm not the one that doesn't look well! These voices in my head will tell the hell that's coming to me or will they or are they me and this is what I believe, This must be my reality. This is for sure no bourn identity, no movie, this is life for me, so me tell me. What ? What do I tell me that I don't already know. I know! That these people aren't out to get me or my family. I will give my life for thee! But is there a need, to be turned so easily, into this monstor that consumes me, this monstor that is my reality, my daily, my me. That's just to scary, this can't be me not mikey. I pray this gray area only consumes me! I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. It's to empty, To elementary for this mind of mine, to redefine what is in this head of mine. Only time will tell if I have crossed that fine line. That gray line into this brain of mine where every corner is a different mime with a different story to tell about this hell they live with trapped lips and no fits in this glass box where they don't dare trip and break it or escape it and release these demons that are them because I'm not sure the consequence. Consequence of these demons getting out and using me as there spout, but if they do, you can be sure the power I will use to fight this to end this to kill these monsters, that dare use me to spit their insanity like a puppet on a string they have me dancing, But do not fear I shall break these cords that control me I will kill these mimes that bestow me because my mind is my mind and my voice is the only voice. So I shall use this voice of mine to shout and drowned out the stories of the lying mimes that try, try to redefine what I know should be in MY mind. I will win this battle of sin and when I win glorious days will ride in on the wind and be my friend that help me conquer this sin. So be ready with gavel in hand to Judge me for this too, because if you didn't, you wouldn't be you. My gray area.

By Michael Ford

 

[the.Sheepdog]

Thats just plain sad Andy. Hello by the way, I see you are back.

 

[BlessedBasics]

Hello, to you too. I'm mike not andy though?

 

[RuthD]

I'm happy for you that you are doing better. I'll pray for you.

 

[kenblaster5000]

Here I go on my stroll back to christ. My life full of strife and self doubt. I'm to stout to let this bother me. I see the truth or I thought I did. Just another kid with a head full of dreams, watch it, I scream as I steam by . I'm running to the beat of my own drum. Come if you want or get left behind.out shined I thought, as I fought off thoughts of distraught.
Caught off guard I told my self. I've delt with these demons before.
What do they have in store that I'm not used to. Another boo, hoo, you won't hear me cry as I fight tears back. I think, not this time jack .Your not going to crack me. I've seen to much, distrust,disgust of our own kind. You can't shine with these feeling in your heart. We've got to start a change in our own mind to let the Lord shine, in his own way. we should have nothing to say except praise. No judgement or guessing just doing whats right. Letting the Light shine thru you, to reveal the True you. A child of god, in his own likeness, the briteness you show will have no ending. So begin the begining with giveing it to the Lord and he'll be sure to guied you thru.


New to the site and returning to the lord after I don't know what. Writing make me feel better maybe it will help somone some how. Thank you and please pray for my family and I Michael & Amber Ford

Welcome back. God has fallen upon your neck and kissed you. He is giving you the best robe, ring on your hand and shoes on your feet, and a fatted calf, killed and ready to eat. Do not let the older son condemn you for coming back to the Lord. Rejoice and be merry, for His son was dead and now he lives.

Luke 15:10

"Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

LUKE 15:1-32

Be blessed. Jesus Christ loves you, and you are still dear to Him.

 

[BlessedBasics]

Please keep praying for me. I got my nose broke and just feel down again over all. I started feeling good just for this to happen and the way it happend(Family) wow. Well im going to keep praying and trying not to get to down again. I never want to be that down again. Thank you for the support, you help more than you know. Being able to talk to some one with out feeling judged or geting that feeling or look. Thank you.

 

[kenblaster5000]

Please keep praying for me. I got my nose broke and just feel down again over all. I started feeling good just for this to happen and the way it happend(Family) wow. Well im going to keep praying and trying not to get to down again. I never want to be that down again. Thank you for the support, you help more than you know. Being able to talk to some one with out feeling judged or geting that feeling or look. Thank you.

How did you get your nose broken?

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

You have my prayers