struggles with Masturbation

[Evenglade]

So once again I gave in, it's 3:28 A.M. I've come a long way from where I started and I don't have any sexual temptations really outside of nighttime and It's pretty easy to maintain that. The hard part is night time, when I'm trying to get to sleep it just keeps coming after me, attacking me and I can't get to sleep unless I relieve the urge. It sucks, it truly and honestly freaking sucks. No matter how hard i try I always give in at some point and I hate myself for it. Night time is like a living hell for me, I'm always fearing it, I get scared as the day progresses and night time gets closer, because I know I will have to get in that bed and face those temptations and try to get some sleep. I wish that I didn't need to sleep, but the problem is that we all need sleep wether we like it or not. After its over I feel terrible, sometimes I wish someone would just kill me, sometimes I just feel like I deserve to die for what I've done, I mean I'm freaking borderline suicidal here! And thats not a feeling that is easily awakened in me, I feel so much regret, guilt, pain and despair, because it's like well you can keep trying but is it realistic that you're ever going to break the habit, I know it's the devil saying that, but thats how I feel. I really need help, I need someone to confide in, someone who will check in with me and help me with my struggle, I've tried to keep this problem to myself and solve it by myself, but that always fails and is obviously not the solution, I've accepted that and so I'm now here sharing with you fellow christians. <staff edit> I'm open to anyone who wants to share their struggles with me and anyone who wants prayer requests. Also as I said, I'm looking for someone who would be willing to check in on me and help me with my struggles, also through email. Also prayers for me would be greatly appreciated and maybe advice too. Thank you so much in advance!

 

[Comic Carol]

Hey I hate going to bed at times too. I don't think about sex or any thoughts of that kind till I go to bed and am trying to go to sleep. I am praying about it before I go to sleep and that helps some what.. Last night I just gave myself a talking to. Reminded myself I am God's daughter and that my body is supposed to be a temple. It seemed to have worked. When do you read your bible? Can you read it before bed? Read about putting your spiritual Armor on, it might help.

 

[saved979]

I suggest reading "Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time". It sounds like you have a repenting heart and God is the God of the so called impossible.

 

[RavenBlue315]

I have the same problem :/ It really is so annoying because I don't know how to stop it and I try, and try, and try but at the end I still do it and I'm just wishing it would all stop. I've been praying about it so I hope one day he will help me overcome this problem as same with you.

 

[dabro]

I struggle yr's with masterbatiun so I know how you feel. It;s not as bad as you think. You have to miss the mark to understand grace. Christ did everything for you. So When satan comes and tells you your not worthy just tell him to shut up. PM any time I'll help you. Daniel.

 

[Sharon10]

Hi Evenglade,

I struggled with this disgusting sin for 8 long years and Jesus totally set me free. I used to sleep, and in my dreams, the devil would torment me, I would wake up because those filthy thoughts would come in my dreams. I felt asia someone was forcing me to commit that sin. Those dirty thoughts would become so strong that finally I would give in to sin. I can totally understand what you are struggling with. I used to get impure thoughts in my dreams, and as a result wake up from sleep, and give in to that disgusting sin. I was so frustrated. This went on for 8 years, and one day I decided to quit Christianity becoz I felt what was taught at church was like theory to me. I decided to live for the world and was ready to go to hell. That day our Lord Jesus Christ intervened in my life and led me to online ministry Setting Captives Free. I took up the 60 day interactive course called Way of Purity. It is free to join. They have mentors who counsel you and pray for you. The Lord Jesus COMPLETELY set me free. I am here to help Christians who are struggling with this sin. I would be glad to help any Christian as an accountability partner. Please feel free to write to me.
God bless you.
Sharon

 

[ROA73737]

I apologize if this seems like a re-post (just tried to post something in a nearby forum). I am finally bringing my 10+ year addiction of pornography/masturbation out into the light on this forum and have felt God working within me over the past month to refresh me and draw me closer to Him.

I've been free of the cycle this time, but I say all of this to say that I very much relate to the struggle you're going through.

Through Him and the accountability of one another, we can overcome Satan's attempt to bring us down!

 

[Evenglade]

Thanks guys, it's really encouraging to know that I'm not the only one going through this and that it is possible to overcome it. It seems though that every time I fail I tell myself I did something wrong so then I try changing something but it still happens again, now I've pretty much run out solutions which is why I came here, but it just seems I can't pinpoint anything that will help me stop this. Do you guys maybe know of anything that may be more obscure than the obvious things I shouldn't do? Thanks again for the help and best of luck to you guys!

 

[RavenBlue315]

I apologize if this seems like a re-post (just tried to post something in a nearby forum). I am finally bringing my 10+ year addiction of pornography/masturbation out into the light on this forum and have felt God working within me over the past month to refresh me and draw me closer to Him.

I've been free of the cycle this time, but I say all of this to say that I very much relate to the struggle you're going through.

Through Him and the accountability of one another, we can overcome Satan's attempt to bring us down!

May I ask you how you're drawing closer to him? because I've been trying to draw closer to him but each time it fails I've been trying to read the Bible, praying, and worshiping him but I keep failing at it because when I finish with those things I become bored and don't know what else to do to keep my focus on him and then that leads to searching on the internet that is not so pleasant :/ So I would just like to know what to do, if you would reply that would be great

 

[1Brokenheart]

I can't guarantee this will work but helped me.

First of all you have to control your thoughts,

Philippians 4.8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Second you really must stop condemning yourself too much, the more depressed you get the more you will probably do it so you have to control your thoughts.

There is a difference between condemnation and conviction, as Christians we are called to holy and live pure, godly lives and be a witness to a world that is fading away.

1 Thessalonians 4.7 "For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."

Okay here is what you should do,

Do lower back exercises, do push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups and planks. Exercising your core will help you and also take long walks or go running that helps you too.

Also get enough sleep! If you only sleep 5 hours a day you will probably do it. You should be getting like 8-9 maybe 10 hours if you have time. Yes, you might think you are laying in bed longer so you are more likely to do it but no. Not if you are exercising then you are just letting your muscles rest.

Also have something to do during the day, if you are using the computer then have a reason for it. Like are you just checking fb/email or schoolwork, don't just go to the computer for no reason. Like try to make a to-do list so your not just so idle because that probably will let your thoughts run rampant.

You could do something like 25 push ups and 25 sit ups every morning and some swimmers/supermans and go running like every other day.

If you are trying to quit masturbating you should be exercising everyday because honestly it works. You have to actually put effort, if you are just joking around then you are better off walking for like 90 minutes. Also don't go overboard it has to be something you can do everyday.

Also just try to worship God with your life, God wants you to be pure and holy and do the right thing and then God can help you get a wife someday.

 

[ROA73737]

One thing that's helped is an increase in the reading of forums such as this. Seeing how He's working through the lives of others has been very inspiring to me and has continued to fuel my desire to keep my eyes on Him when doubt begins to set in. His grace that I see through the people on this board has really created a loop that makes me want to continue to draw nearer to Him.

This one important thing (for me at, at least), in addition to the things you've mentioned, have definitely helped.

God bless you, and I continue to pray for all of us.

 

[Sharon10]

Only the Holy Spirit can help you overcome sin. In your own strength you cannot overcome. Im saying this because this was true in my own life. When I came to the lowest point in my life and I knew I could never get out of this sin - thats the time Jesus chose to lift me out of the pit of sin. You need to reach a zero point in your life, when you dont trust in your own strength anymore. I pray that God will lead you to freedom very soon.

 

[mseveneight]

Hi I just want to encourage you, as others have, to be drawn back time & again to grace. I hope you can begin to see yourself the way God sees you - totally loved & valued by Him - and not feel hate & so much anger towards yourself. The very fact that you are wanting & having the desire to tackle this area is evidence of God at work in your life, gradually changing your desires. Take that as a real positive!

Something I've found really helpful is to remember is that God's love for us is not dependant on our progress in obedience or performance at all - it's totally dependant on Christ. I've found that to be a real help in growing my love for God and decreasing my love for 'settling for lesser things' - such as masturbation. And the amazing thing is that then even when we fall and do mess up (which happens a lot!), we are reminded of the Gospel afresh & our constant need for Jesus.

Masturbation can be a really difficult thing to shake - as our brains have become so accustomed to accepting the lies that we tell it ('this will be worth it', 'this will make me feel great...' etc) - instead of the truth that says that the things that Jesus offers are so much better & that in the end masturbation just leaves us feeling terrible about ourselves, devaluing others & lonely.

There's lot of practical & accountability type things you can do as well to help make it less of an issue - but I guess lasting change starts with the heart & change of desires that only God can do. Until then - don't make it into something bigger than it is & remember that Christ has paid for it and wants to change you as you surrender over to him, rather than try to do it yourself.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind - we are being transformed by God at work in us, as we turn our focus onto Christ (as opposed to focussing on stopping masturbating)

Hope that makes some sort of sense. It's a tough battle to fight - but there's grace every step of the way.

If you want to ask any more or want some support - PM me or give me a shout on hello [AT] mseveneight [dot] com

cheers dude - hope you're feeling supported & not alone.

 

[nicRsa]

Hey bro...if been struggling for 12 years and only recently stopped but its a daily struggle for me to..i admire your obedience and ur honesty! Pm if you would like to chat or whatever else...ill be praying for you! Be Blessed bro

 

[Evenglade]

Well it happened after 4 nights instead of 3 which I guess is an improvement, but still it happened, I tried exercising, but while I was actually exercising that feeling came over me, so that didn't work either, once again I'm out of solutions. I really don't want to have it be where I slowly increase the amount of days I can go without it, I want to end it abruptly, because every time I do that I know that I'm sinning. Please there has to be some way to stop this that works, I really need your guys' guidance right now and I really appreciate everything you've done so far. So please continue to help me, because I'm still in the battle.

 

[Tenacity]

Hey Evenglade,
I hope you are stilling checking back on here. I haven't been on for quite a while.

Something that I noticed in your last post is that you feel as if you have to give in when those "feelings" begin to overtake you.

For many years my goal had been to rid myself of those feelings. I thought that if I could get rid of those feelings that I would be able to stop masturbating. I prayed, fasted, read the bible, and distracted myself every way I knew how, and yet those feelings would come. Eventually I would give in to those feelings and touch.

As I began to learn to walk with Jesus through the presence of the Holy Spirit on a daily moment by moment basis, He began to teach me a better way of living.

Jesus, we are told in scriptures, taught that the way to be saved was to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus. Jesus, today, is still calling us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow him. I need to be saved, therefore, I need to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Jesus. Jesus is alive and we can literally follow him.

We must place our trust in GOD. If our trust is in God then we will understand that we do not need to take things into our own hands because we are trusting God to meet that need in His own time.

As long as you are a human being you will most likely have those "feelings" and some of those feelings are just part of being a person. The feelings are most likely natural. I always thought that the goal was to rid myself of those feelings but then I realized that God created me to have those feelings.

If we as humans did not crave food we would die of starvation. If we did not desire companionship we would all live in our own little worlds. If we did not want sex then we would not make babies. God designed you to want to have sex. That feeling in itself is not wrong at all. What you do when experiencing those feelings is what makes the difference.

Having strong feelings of regret over your sin will not free you from sin.
God loves YOU unconditionally.
God himself will free you from sin.

My focus now must be in keeping my eyes on Jesus. I talk to him. He talks to me. He loves me. I love Him. That relationship with God is my goal. When my goal is to not sin then my eyes are focused on the wrong thing and find myself obsessing over sin and the more I think about the sin then the more I am tempted to do it and so the cycle begins.

Jesus is not wandering around in circles and when we are following Jesus the cycle is broken.

The following is from my journal a couple of years ago.
It was during a time when I was very tempted to touch.
I struggled today. I was stressed. I was trying to find the right prayer read the right thing watch the right thing. Everything left me feeling empty. The bible was blah. Watchman nee was blah. John Bevere blah. blah blah blah I felt myself slipping and nothing was helping. It was as if I had some mean terrible monster hot on my trail and I was in a panic and running. As I ran I was trying to throw things in his way. The bible, books, tv, prayer, personality, and anything else I could think of. Nothing was slowing him down. My mind was racing. I had been sick and worried about finances. My enemy was trying to pull off a sneak attack of sorts. I knew it was coming but felt unable to stop it. Finally I realized that I was unable to stop it. I realized that I was completely helpless in this fight. (much like the people of Zion in the Matrix movie when they were under attack from a million swarming machines) As soon as I realized my hopeless situation I turned to God my saviour. He stepped in calmed the storm and injected peace into my heart.
My salvation is not in me praying the right prayer, reading the right book, studying the right scripture, or any other distraction. My hope is in God alone. I must go directly to him and find rest in him. He is my hope. He is my salvation. He alone is my satisfaction. None other. No theology, doctrine, dogma, creed, or principle will ever be able to save me, only God and God alone.
Oh btw that mean terrible monster that was chasing me and growling in my face like a rabid dog dissipated like a cloud when I felt the release.
Never was I able to find the right words, prayer, scripture, or self-help book to save me. All of my efforts only dug the whole deeper and brought the rabid dog closer. If I had continued on in my own futility I surely would have been devoured. Thank you Lord God for the salvation that is only found in you. You are my rock. It was only when my flesh died in the sea of helplessness that I experienced the release of the spirit. Now to walk in that place.

I have written a lot here and I hope I said something helpful.
God always love you.
Love Him.
Trust Him.

love,
Randy