Still a mess :(

[HopingForJesus]

OK. I know I am supposed to allow the Holy Spirit to work within me to help me and give me strength to get through things. I have become obsessed (not intentionally) with fears about going to hell again because I worry about whether God considers mental illness a real illness or not and if things directly coming from such mental illness are sin. In the advice forum I had made a post about Revelations 21:8 where it says the cowardly will be thrown into the lake of fire. Most have explained it to mean as in those who deny Christ. I am hoping and trying to stay positive that that is indeed what that passage is talking about and not just individuals who are fearful like me. I am doing my best to reassure myself, but am finding myself getting frustrated and angry with God which then depresses me more and I feel guilty. I am taking my medication like I am supposed to but won't be able to go back to therapy till sometime in January which I am hoping to go twice a month if we can affford it. I really wish Jesus would come down and heal me of this mental baloney so I could live a normal life, I really do. I feel guilty being disabled by it and not being well enough to work. I have some other medical problems too. I am just overwhelmed and frustrated. I went and took a nap today again because I couldn't deal with the emotions resulting from going through this whole mess. Is the Holy Spirit even with me? How will God's perfect love cast out fear? I really want to know because I really want to be a part of that. I feel sorry for everyone with a mental illness. I hope God will bring me through all this and help to use me somehow to help others in the end. I want to be safe with Jesus and to not have any fear of going to hell and not have negative feelings towards God.

 

[raven1]

Do u have faith OCD?

 

[CrossPilgrim]

Dear HopingforJesus,

By God's grace I will try to explain as best I can.

God doesn't look down on you for something you are struggling with, even what may be considered a mental illness. From what you say, I can insinuate that you are questioning whether mental illness is really an illness. Thus there are two options: 1) it is an illness or 2) it is spiritual oppression, considering you do not want the thoughts and want to love the Lord. Allow me to offer Jesus' own words on the subject:

18“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
19to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. Luke 4:18-19

And we also know that by His (Jesus') wounds we are healed by God's good pleasure. Therefore, in either case you are in good hands.

As for the cowardly, I believe you can look to the Israelites for advice. They were too cowardly to cross the Jordan for fear of the giants and were thus not allowed to inherit the Promised Land. In fact, you can read the whole book of Hebrews. The Jews to which the book was written to were facing such immense persecution and suffering that they wanted to turn back to Judaism and deny Christ. That is who the warning is written to.

Now before panic sets in, look at your own words. You do believe! You haven't forsaken Christ. Thus you have proven braver than the Israelites.

Now as for the Holy Spirit...

37On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. 38Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” 39By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified. John 7:37-39

Now you may ask, am I saved? Have you seen God's hand in you since you first believed? You can read 1 John for some tests which include:
- A love for God that grows? Do you enjoy your time with the Lord? (5:2-5)
- A love for fellowship with believers (2:9-11)
- A decreasing pattern of sin in your life with an increasing desire to do good / you are no longer who you once were, for the better. You don't continue in sin as before. (1:6-7) (2:7-8)
- Do you keep God's commandments? (3:7-10) (3:23-24)
- Have you confessed Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior? (2:23) (4:15-16)

There are more tests. Now take note that we Christians are prone to stumble from time to time, sometimes allowing the vices of the world to grow on us like thorns, stifling our growth for a season. However, the sign of the true believer is that they won't stay in the thorns forever.

Then two options exist. Either 1) you are a child of God or 2) you are not. Given option #1, then you can rejoice and silence the doubts. Given option #2, then this is God's way of reaching out and today is the day of your salvation. God is good and doesn't want to damn anyone.

Then once you know He loves you, I mean you really know how much He loves you and that no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God (2 Cor 1:20), then your fears begin to fade. God won't leave you or forsake you. He will keep you from danger and protect you from harm. When you do face hardship, it is for a reason and will produce the fruit of righteousness (James 1:2-4). If He allows you to perish, then you know He will greet you with open arms at Heaven's shore.

With this joy we are then compelled by God's love for us to be zealous for good works, which glorify the Father in Heaven.

I hope I was of some assistance to you. May God open your eyes to see how much He loves you. I will leave you with this. Cherish every word...

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 2 Cor 1:3-5

 

[HopingForJesus]

Thank you for your help CrossPilgrim and for the self test questions as well. I pmed you. Peace