Step children

[Llleopard]

Other step parents...... honestly, do you feel the same about your step children and your own children? When I married their dad, his kids were 18-28 and almost all left home. We see them all often, and are on good terms. They sometimes confide in me or ask advice, but have their own mothers, who I am not trying to replace. We do lots with the grandchildren. I mostly like the grandchildren, at least as much as the children at daycare which is my job.I give my best to everyone, and I thought these feelings were average for me -I am aspergers and struggle with feelings anyhow. A couple of days ago, my own daughter's boyfriend asked for our blessing to marry her. I am startled at how different I feel about this compared to how I have felt about the older kids marriages. I feel somewhat light and happy for her, and hope she will ask for my input into her wedding - with the others I felt much more flat. I feel interested that they might have children and would actually like to be involved, whereas I simply am involved with my grandkids because that is my role and I do it to the best of my ability.Do you feel more positive toward your own children?

 

[Seadish]

Honestly know I adore all my kids but the step kids do not show quite as much love as regularly I know my oldest kiddo loves me but it does make for a different relationship

 

[Rescued One]

I had two stepfathers and a stepmother. I don't think any of them really felt warmly towards me.

 

[blackribbon]

It is mostly normal. You have been involved in your daughters life from birth. You might have felt differently toward your step kids if they were constantly in your life from much younger. However, regardless how you feel, it is important to keep your actions equal for all of the kids in the family..be they your birth children or his birth children. This should not be any different than you do at work...work hard to not show favoritism and give all your young students the same and the best from you.

 

[JAM2b]

As far as relationships, the bond will only be as strong as you can develop them to be. This is true in every type of relationship. Biological parents can even vary in bonding and the feelings of connection and devotion to their own children. The way the children came into your life has little to do with how much love you have for them as it does with time, connections, and bonding experiences. Those things can be effected by so much: age, busy-ness, phases of life, and the effort on everyone's part.

I wouldn't feel guilt. Just continue to treat people as well as you can and be responsible to your family. It sounds like you are doing great.