Starting to feel I may have a problem with OCD/Scrupulosity

[DeerGlow]

But even if I have OCD or whatever (which I might not) I still don't think that excuses what I've done. I have constant blasphemous and evil thoughts and people say thoughts aren't important but "... God opposes those who are proud in the innermost thoughts." I read that verse yesterday. I don't know if I am saved, if I ever was saved. I have lots of doubts yet life-stopping terror of condemnation. I have intentionally said blasphemous things about the HS because I wanted the worrying to be over and everything to be final. Obviously I was in a bad state of mind but I don't think that excuses me. If I wasn't saved before, I don't know if I can be saved know since my faith is so weak. I know I have a lot of threads but I just desperately want peace. I annoy until they leave me everyone I talk to when I'm afraid. It's gotten to the point where I've thought about suicide several times, and afterwards feel that it proves I don't have saving faith that I thought of doing that.

 

[singpraise]

The important thing for you to remember is thoughts alone will not condemn you. Actions are different from thoughts. If you have only committed wrong thoughts with no actions behind those thoughts then you are OK.

You have an illness. It is not your fault that you have this illness. Please seek the advice and treatment of a licensed, trained therapist or mental health doctor to assist you in coping with your illness.

Know this: Jesus loves you. He will never condemn you for an illness beyond your control. You are safe as long as your actions do not cause harm to other people.

May God bless you with peace and comfort. Take a moment to take a breath and know you are loved by God. Do it now. Know there is healing available for you and you can and will find it.

You are in my prayers.

 

[DeerGlow]

The important thing for you to remember is thoughts alone will not condemn you. Actions are different from thoughts. If you have only committed wrong thoughts with no actions behind those thoughts then you are OK.

You have an illness. It is not your fault that you have this illness. Please seek the advice and treatment of a licensed, trained therapist or mental health doctor to assist you in coping with your illness.

Know this: Jesus loves you. He will never condemn you for an illness beyond your control. You are safe as long as your actions do not cause harm to other people.

May God bless you with peace and comfort. Take a moment to take a breath and know you are loved by God. Do it now. Know there is healing available for you and you can and will find it.

You are in my prayers.

It seems like thoughts can condemn. Like Jesus said looking at someone with lust is like committing adultry with them. I don't know if I can be forgiven for intentionally thinking bad things when I felt hopeless already.

 

[singpraise]

It seems like thoughts can condemn. Like Jesus said looking at someone with lust is like committing adultry with them. I don't know if I can be forgiven for intentionally thinking bad things when I felt hopeless already.

I understand what you're saying. But that does not apply to people with mental illness.

Have you tried replacing the OCD repetitive thoughts with another thought? In your case, the thoughts themselves are essentially and technically meaningless, because you don't have control over them due to your illness.

But, one thing you DO have control over is the wording of the thoughts.

First, stop attaching negative meaning to what you're thinking in circles. Next, replace the negative thought with a positive verse from the Bible. Choose a loving verse that means the most to you and that will assure you that you have nothing to fear. For example, "There is no condemnation in Christ," is one of my favorite verses. I would research and find quotes for you, but I think it is important that you do this yourself.

For example: Sometimes my husband gets on my nerves by humming or singing an annoying tune or jingle. The song then gets stuck in my head, even though it is a song I dislike. My method for getting rid of the annoying jingle is to replace it immediately with a song I like. I learned this trick a long time ago and it works beautifully. It allows your mind to let go of the annoying or destructive thought and be replaced with something more pleasant.

 

[DeerGlow]

I understand what you're saying. But that does not apply to people with mental illness.

Have you tried replacing the OCD repetitive thoughts with another thought? In your case, the thoughts themselves are essentially and technically meaningless, because you don't have control over them due to your illness.

But, one thing you DO have control over is the wording of the thoughts.

First, stop attaching negative meaning to what you're thinking in circles. Next, replace the negative thought with a positive verse from the Bible. Choose a loving verse that means the most to you and that will assure you that you have nothing to fear. For example, "There is no condemnation in Christ," is one of my favorite verses. I would research and find quotes for you, but I think it is important that you do this yourself.

For example: Sometimes my husband gets on my nerves by humming or singing an annoying tune or jingle. The song then gets stuck in my head, even though it is a song I dislike. My method for getting rid of the annoying jingle is to replace it immediately with a song I like. I learned this trick a long time ago and it works beautifully. It allows your mind to let go of the annoying or destructive thought and be replaced with something more pleasant.

How do you know it doesn't apply? And I'm not diagnosed anyway. I don't want to bet my soul on a possible illness excusing my thoughts.

 

[singpraise]

How do you know it doesn't apply? And I'm not diagnosed anyway. I don't want to bet my soul on a possible illness excusing my thoughts.

Ok. Then take control of your thoughts. Just stop thinking terrible things. Your thoughts make you who you are. It's your choice.

 

[DeerGlow]

Ok. Then take control of your thoughts. Just stop thinking terrible things. Your thoughts make you who you are. It's your choice.

Even if I could control my thoughts how could I be forgiven?

 

[singpraise]

Even if I could control my thoughts how could I be forgiven?

Jesus died on the cross for your sins. If you accept His sacrifice that's all you need to do to be forgiven. Pray the Salvation Prayer. Believe in Him in your heart. His sacrifice was enough. There is no need to fear.

 

[singpraise]

Don't confuse the verses about blasphemy of the Holy Spirit with being about thoughts or words. Blaspheming the Holy Spirit means killing and silencing the Holy Spirit within you by continual evil actions that cause harm to others, repeatedly, and without repentance.

Keep in mind those people who truly blaspheme the Holy Spirit are not in the least concerned about being forgiven. They hate God and choose to be apart from God.

The fact that you are concerned about being loved and forgiven by God tells me you have a humble spirit that loves God. And that you possibly need help with a mental disorder or illness of some type. God does not condemn people for being sick. He offers healing and hope.

Your concern about thoughts being sinful is a valid concern. There is forgiveness for sin and for sinful thoughts. Once we accept Christ we are ALL sinners saved by grace. I am no less sinful than you are and I am just as blessed by His grace. Remember that He is faithful to cleanse and forgive us when we confess our sin to him. You have already confessed your sinful thoughts. You are in the safe zone; believe in God for that.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Even if I could control my thoughts how could I be forgiven?

If a person is not ill, s/he can pray in communion with the Lord Jesus and feed on and enjoy God's Word.

If a person is indeed ill, s/he can still pray in communion with the Lord Jesus and feed on and enjoy God's Word.

So whether one is ill or not, it's good to keep in view the sheer power and value of prayer and the Scriptures.

 

[godenver1]

But even if I have OCD or whatever (which I might not) I still don't think that excuses what I've done. I have constant blasphemous and evil thoughts and people say thoughts aren't important but "... God opposes those who are proud in the innermost thoughts." I read that verse yesterday. I don't know if I am saved, if I ever was saved. I have lots of doubts yet life-stopping terror of condemnation. I have intentionally said blasphemous things about the HS because I wanted the worrying to be over and everything to be final. Obviously I was in a bad state of mind but I don't think that excuses me. If I wasn't saved before, I don't know if I can be saved know since my faith is so weak. I know I have a lot of threads but I just desperately want peace. I annoy until they leave me everyone I talk to when I'm afraid. It's gotten to the point where I've thought about suicide several times, and afterwards feel that it proves I don't have saving faith that I thought of doing that.

If these thoughts are compulsive, then they mean nothing. Nothing at all.

Intrusive thoughts, usually related to religion, sexuality, or violence are common for those with OCD. You really can't stop them, so learn to acknowledge that they aren't a product of your secret desires, but are a symptom of a disease that mean absolutely nothing.

I encourage you to seek professional help. You can manage it.

If you have OCD, you aren't being punished, you aren't damned and haven't said or thought anything that could damn you. Regardless of what you've said about God, I assure you, you aren't damned.

A lot of people with OCD go through very similar events, so please, seek help from a mental health professional.