Starting over

[Tink04]

I'm just about ready to pop!

Please pray for me. I'm so sick and tired of Him trying to manipulate and control me!!!!

Back in January I told my stbx that I wanted to start paying the insurance on the van. We found that in order to do that, we had to sign it over to me as owner. He said that I was the one with the kids and he was more then willing to do that. He wanted to go to the registry on the weekend and sign it over to me.

The reason we didn't is because I didn't have the $200 it was going to cost for the safety inspection. I decided to wait until I had the money.

I phoned him this morning and told him the situation with the van. That I would give the van back to him, but he would need to get a new door.
He was trying to get me to pay for the door, because he didn't have any money. I told him I wasn't going to buy him a door. That I was being generous and giving it back to him when I could sell it.


He phoned me tonight and told me he didn't want me to change the door on HIS vehicle. That it was not mine and I wasn't allowed to do that.

I've been in possesion of the van for the last EIGHT MONTHS and he has been more then willing to let me have it. He's been out looking for a vehicle because he doesn't have one. Now suddenly he's changed his mind. He wants it and I'm not allowed to do anything with it.

What's wrong with me!!! Why do I think that there might ever be an ounce of truth that comes out of his mouth. Why would I ever think that maybe possibly he could care about anyone but himself!!!!



This is so STUPID!!!! I'm so d*mn sick of his games!!
_________________

 

[ShainaBrina]

Oh Tink, I'm so sorry.

I was just about to say happy things about the last post and your being given a car and unexpected monies etc. What a bummer (can I say that here?)

I hope you decide to accept that van... what a wonderful gift you are being blessed with. I'm sure you can probably find a door at a scrap yard for less than fixing that old engine. Which is a good thing you didn't spend money on considering now there will be dispute over the van. So try not to be too discouraged... it is still a huge blessing.
Plus having him take the van as part of the division of assets may work to your advantage in the long run.

Praising God for His blessings in you life...

Shaina

 

[SearcherKris]

I'm so sorry Tink.

 

[GodsChild74]

I'm just about ready to pop!

Please pray for me. I'm so sick and tired of Him trying to manipulate and control me!!!!

Back in January I told my stbx that I wanted to start paying the insurance on the van. We found that in order to do that, we had to sign it over to me as owner. He said that I was the one with the kids and he was more then willing to do that. He wanted to go to the registry on the weekend and sign it over to me.

The reason we didn't is because I didn't have the $200 it was going to cost for the safety inspection. I decided to wait until I had the money.

I phoned him this morning and told him the situation with the van. That I would give the van back to him, but he would need to get a new door.
He was trying to get me to pay for the door, because he didn't have any money. I told him I wasn't going to buy him a door. That I was being generous and giving it back to him when I could sell it.


He phoned me tonight and told me he didn't want me to change the door on HIS vehicle. That it was not mine and I wasn't allowed to do that.

I've been in possesion of the van for the last EIGHT MONTHS and he has been more then willing to let me have it. He's been out looking for a vehicle because he doesn't have one. Now suddenly he's changed his mind. He wants it and I'm not allowed to do anything with it.

What's wrong with me!!! Why do I think that there might ever be an ounce of truth that comes out of his mouth. Why would I ever think that maybe possibly he could care about anyone but himself!!!!



This is so STUPID!!!! I'm so d*mn sick of his games!!
_________________

Girl accept the van from the man at church, give your ex the old van that is broke down. Let him deal with it. If he wants it that bad just say here are the keys. Take your 'new' van and drive away. He is trying to mess with you, but remember you have GOD on your side and He is much more powerful than your sorry ex.
Congrats on the money. I told you Gods timeing was perfect. He hold more in store for you. So look at your blessings, tell your ex that he wont win, and enjoy the gifts that God is giving to you. DO NOT let this man get to you. If he does he wins. You are deffinatly not a loser so dont give into his childish behavior. Look at him like a five year old trying to get his way. It will make you laugh and take back the power for you.
I will continue to pray for you. I love you sister. Keep hangen in there.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Oh Tink--I'm so sorry he's acting like this! But I want you to remember something. This behavior is actually 100% consistent with his character.

Anyway, here's my thought. Take the van with the dinged door from the fella at church. Go together with a mechanic person you trust to the local junk yard, and find a door that YOU can pay for. Then drive the van over to (cough) STBX (cough), park it in his driveway, hand him the keys or leave them under the seat, and walk away.

That way the new van is ENTIRELY YOURS and it's just one less thing that he can mess with . It's one less way that he can try to control you by yanking your chain. It's YOURS and he has no say whatsoever!! Yay! You're free!

In addition, when it comes time for property settlement, you can show how you have the kids and more expenses, so you deserve more property...AND he got the van valued at $XX.XX (when properly repaired) and thus you would get more of the other property!

DOUBLE YAY!

He just acted selfishly and now he lost just a little MORE of his control over you! God is blessing you my friend!


~Faithful

 

[Tink04]

Thanks gals,

You know this manipulation that's going on is really nothing new. Most of the time I handle it much better then I did this one.
Just this last weekend he was suppose to have the kids. He was trying to tell me it wasn't his weekend when I new it was. Then he was trying to tell me he wasn't going to be able to feed them.
I sent them anyway, gave my oldest a cell, told him to phone me if they weren't getting enough to eat. Somehow he was able to find food for them, when he couldn't before, because they ate. I really wasn't surprised. I'm not surprised by anything anymore. But this one did really get to me. I haven't been this angry with him since Sept.

I am going to take the van, I was never thinking about not taking it. I realize it was a gift from God.

 

[Tink04]

I think this thread needs a little lifting up now. I think I do as well. So since most of you haven't hear it I'll tell you how God has been so good to me this last year.

Last year right around this time I was having a really down depressed time. I went to church that Sunday a man came up to me and gave me a bunch of flowers. Told me that God told him to buy them for a woman and to tell her that God loved her very much and was going to look after her.
Durring this same service God gave me this verse.....
Jer 31
2 This is what the Lord says: “Those who survive the coming destruction
will find blessings even in the barren land,
for I will give rest to the people of Israel.”
3 Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.
4 I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.
You will again be happy
and dance merrily with your tambourines.
(these flowers, just so happened, to come from the same man who is giving me the van.)

When I feel through our glass coffee table I could have gotten seriously injered, but I didn't because God was pertecting me.

I already told you about my son's school and how his tuition got paid for.

In Dec I had very little money, just enough to pay the bills and that was all. No money for food or Christmas.

I was "adopted" by a company for Christmas. They bought gifts for the kids and even asked me what I wanted.
I got all kinds of gift certificates for groceries and gas that month. More then what I needed. I even was able to give one of them away to another family that was in need. These certificates carried me right through until now. I'm just using up the last one. Most of these certificates came from people I don't even know.

I'm sure there is more of them. Search can you think of any I missed? I'm sure I have, my brain isn't functioning too well tonight.

God's been taking good care of me.

 

[GodsChild74]

I think this thread needs a little lifting up now. I think I do as well. So since most of you haven't hear it I'll tell you how God has been so good to me this last year.

Last year right around this time I was having a really down depressed time. I went to church that Sunday a man came up to me and gave me a bunch of flowers. Told me that God told him to buy them for a woman and to tell her that God loved her very much and was going to look after her.
Durring this same service God gave me this verse.....
Jer 31
2 This is what the Lord says: “Those who survive the coming destruction
will find blessings even in the barren land,
for I will give rest to the people of Israel.”
3 Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.
4 I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.
You will again be happy
and dance merrily with your tambourines.
(these flowers, just so happened, to come from the same man who is giving me the van.)

When I feel through our glass coffee table I could have gotten seriously injered, but I didn't because God was pertecting me.

I already told you about my son's school and how his tuition got paid for.

In Dec I had very little money, just enough to pay the bills and that was all. No money for food or Christmas.

I was "adopted" by a company for Christmas. They bought gifts for the kids and even asked me what I wanted.
I got all kinds of gift certificates for groceries and gas that month. More then what I needed. I even was able to give one of them away to another family that was in need. These certificates carried me right through until now. I'm just using up the last one. Most of these certificates came from people I don't even know.

I'm sure there is more of them. Search can you think of any I missed? I'm sure I have, my brain isn't functioning too well tonight.

God's been taking good care of me.

Now thats what I want to hear!!!!! See you are looking at the positive and dont you feel better? *BIG HUG* God has blessed you and will continue to do so. Right on faithful..... you said what I was trying to say, but did it so much better. lol.
Tink you are such a wonderful woman, I see big things for you.
Soooo.... have you decided what to go to school for?

Are you totally getting excited?

Are you nervous? (I know I was)

What was the best part of your day today?

What is your favorite smell?

What is your favorite sound?

Do you dance when nobody is looking lol?

What is your fav piece of clothing?

Okey now that I have asked all kinds of silly questions, answer them and get back to me. Ill tell you my answers when you do...... okey Ill admit right now I dance when no one is looking. My oldest daughter said it should say that way. rotflol.
Take care and smile. WE love you!!!!!!

 

[Tink04]

Questions, question, questions! Grrrrr!!!! ( just kidding)
Soooo.... have you decided what to go to school for?

I have. I'm going to get my certificate in pipeline drafting. It'll take 33 weeks and since I live in oil and gas country I should be able to make some good money.

Are you totally getting excited?
I'm impatient. It doesn't start until January. I want to start now. I won't even know if I have been accepted or not until Sept.

Are you nervous? (I know I was) I was anxious. I'm not used to being allowed to make big decisions. There were a lot of "what if's" But now that I have decided I'm fine.

I'm going to add a bit to the above. I'm also thinking about going back later and getting my counseling degree.
I've had many people, including men, say that I am very easy to talk to. That I have good instincts and understanding. I know I am greatly effected by my own problems, but I seem to be able to handle other peoples without causing issues in me.

It's going to have to wait awhile because right now I need to think about money and getting myself financially stable. But there is no reason I can't do it later.

What was the best part of your day today?
Yesterday- I had a good talk and cuddle time with my 8yo daughter. She's usually on the move so it's nice when she slows down and just sits with you.

What is your favorite smell?
Baby smell
and grapefruit
For different reasons

What is your favorite sound?
Baby laughter

I love babies, but i don't want any more. I'll just borrow other peoples so I can get my baby fix.

Do you dance when nobody is looking lol?
Not yet.

What is your fav piece of clothing?

I have a black shirt that has crocheting across the shoulders and the top part of the back. It fits really well and I think it looks sexy without being provocative.

 

[GodsChild74]

I like your answers. Most of them are the same as me. Im not having any more babies either. This momma is fixed. lol. My oldest is 18 my youngest is 10 and I have been raising babies since I was 15. Im 33 now. Can you say done..... lol. It would take a mirical from God for me to have another one. Oooops shouldnt tempt God like that. lol.

I like your choice of eduation. I really like the idea about being a councler. You should do that. Look at what you are going through. You could use your experiance to help others. I understand though that you have to think of finances first. The first year is hard, the second gets better, and so on. Youll make it. You are making it. *Hugs*

 

[GodsChild74]

Hey Tink! Where are you? Havnt seen you on for a while. I hope and pray that everything is going well for you. Message me or post something. I worrie about you.

Love ya girl.

 

[Tink04]

Hi Michelle, I'm here.

I've been around I just haven't posted much.

I'm doing OK, but I am stressed. I'm still trying to deal with this van thing.

Not sure what else to say. Don't be worried I'm getting through, I'm just quiet at the moment.

 

[GodsChild74]

Hi Michelle, I'm here.

I've been around I just haven't posted much.

I'm doing OK, but I am stressed. I'm still trying to deal with this van thing.

Not sure what else to say. Don't be worried I'm getting through, I'm just quiet at the moment.

Quiet can be a good thing. I dont want to push, I just worry about you and care for your well being. I will continue to pray that all works out with the van and everything else.
Hang in there. You are doing great!!

 

[Tink04]

Ok So I've changed my direction a bit.

I was going to do Process Pipline Drafting. But the course doesn't start until next Jan. I really didn't want to wait that long to start school and I'm still needing to find a job in the mean time. I'm really, really not wanting to work in a grocery store or Walmart.

I was searching online last night and found this Job.....

OPHTHALMIC TECHNICIAN

Preference will be given to a COA, COT or COMT, but we are willing to train a bright, career-oriented individual through our apprentice-like program.


Responsibilities include clinical testing of pre and post-operative ophthalmic surgical patients.
To ensure success in this role, candidates must enjoy technical work, have exceptional interpersonal skills, be computer literate with 45 wpm and be flexible in a dynamic environment.


This great opportunity for professional growth offers a competitive compensation and benefits package. Interested individuals are invited to FAX a resume outlining their related qualifications and wage expectations to:

I think I would enjoy doing this. I've always done well at the computer courses I've taken. I like to learn new things. I enjoy helping people.
I don't have any of the certificates they list but they say they are willing to train.



Now I just have to convince them to give me a chance.

Also how would I figure out what I should put down for wage expectations?

 

[GodsChild74]

Ok So I've changed my direction a bit.

I was going to do Process Pipline Drafting. But the course doesn't start until next Jan. I really didn't want to wait that long to start school and I'm still needing to find a job in the mean time. I'm really, really not wanting to work in a grocery store or Walmart.

I was searching online last night and found this Job.....




I think I would enjoy doing this. I've always done well at the computer courses I've taken. I like to learn new things. I enjoy helping people.
I don't have any of the certificates they list but they say they are willing to train.



Now I just have to convince them to give me a chance.

Also how would I figure out what I should put down for wage expectations?

Look up what certified tecs make. Online. It is usually here in the US anyway 10 to 14 dollars an hour. Ask for what the minimum of a tec makes and be willing to negotiate. Dont take less than what your worth though. Emphasis your skills that apply to that particulary field. Go in with a stellar resume' in person ask for the human resources manger, tell that person who you are and that you want to submit your resume' for consideration and that you wanted to meet him/her and be able to put a face to your resume'. It makes a big impression on them and when they look at your resume' at a different time they will be able to remember who you are. Trust me it works.

Good luck with that. I know you will love it. I love my nursing work (when Im working in my field, lol). It makes me fell so good to be able to help people.

Go for it girl and let me know how it goes. GOOD LUCK!!!!

 

[GodsChild74]

Hey Ladies,
I need prayer for my room mates dad. He is incredibally sick. They found a tumor that goes from his kidney up and wraps around his heart. He goes in for major, major surgery on thursday. Please pass this one around. His name is JB and my room mates name is Lynel. He grows weeker by the day and they arnt sure he is going to survive the surgery. Please pray. Im not sure what it would do to my room mate and her son. I know he is in Gods hands and His will will be done. But....

 

[Tink04]

EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited!!!!!! I got the interview!!!!!!!!!!

It's this afternoon!!!!!!!!!


I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Tink04]

Hey Ladies,
I need prayer for my room mates dad. He is incredibally sick. They found a tumor that goes from his kidney up and wraps around his heart. He goes in for major, major surgery on thursday. Please pass this one around. His name is JB and my room mates name is Lynel. He grows weeker by the day and they arnt sure he is going to survive the surgery. Please pray. Im not sure what it would do to my room mate and her son. I know he is in Gods hands and His will will be done. But....

Somehow I didn't see this post before.

Praying.

 

[SearcherKris]

 

[HuntingMan]

Well...if she is in Canada it is one of the few countries that if her husband decides to contest the divorce at all she is in a wold of a mess.

He can make her spend money like it was water to get a divorce...it is a country where he can make her what the bible refers to as a "put away wife". In other words they will still be legally married in the Government's eyes but recieve no spousal support at all unless he decides to get divorced.

She will recieve no government support at all if she is married and he has a good paying job. Even though she has left with the children and is in all rights a divorced woman in truth...but legally she isn't and therefore in a big fix. If there is any private agency that can assist her I don't know of one...there are lots here in America...but she doesn't live there. She is Canadian.

She is going to need a "no contest" type divorce and alimony from him in order to make it...and he has every reason not to do so...and from what she has said about him being abusive...he likely won't.

I wish there was something I can do but I am ignorant of any groups there in Canada that can do that sort of thing.

Praying for you honey...survival is going to be your top priority at the moment. I hope you find some kind of job soon...and then living quarters.

Man that is HORRIBLE !
The idea that a man can abuse his wife and then SHE is the one who ends up paying again if she has to leave the marriage to get away from him for her own safety is just disgusting.