Spouse Considering Abortion

Distressed Follower · Aug 7, 2020

Endeavourer said:
Distressed, please PM me your city/state, if you are comfortable doing so, and I will try to put you in touch with kind, warm and loving assistance in your location. Not the shouting/posters type of 'ministries'. My son does loving and caring sidewalk ministries at abortion clinics in 2 states and he has first hand contacts for others. They've helped a lot of people choose life as well as meet their physical needs in doing so, not just at that moment but after the baby arrives as well. His group is well connected to resources that are affirming of the women's difficulties and are more than eager to put their resources where their mouth is to do anything they can to provide the support a woman needs to feel it is possible for her to keep the baby.

I'll be leaving in an hour and then will be away from my computer until tomorrow evening, but if you are comfortable PMing me before I leave, I'll either get some information for you or put you in touch with him directly. Otherwise, I can get the information for you Saturday evening.

I can try to do that.

Hazelelponi said:
You have all my prayers .. you'll be added to my daily prayer list.

Please keep us updated on what's going on, that way my prayers for you all can change as your situation does.

As your sister in Christ, my heart is with you and your children... God protect you all.

She just got done with her appointment a little while ago there. I was sent a text saying she made an another appointment on Monday. Its pretty evident she wants to move forward.

I have this weekend to get her to change her mind. I am not even sure what to say other than break down and cry.

I called our pastor by myself and told him what was really going on. He prayed for us and gave me a little bit of advice. I will continue to pray all that I can. I am so distraught right now.

Melody Suttles · Aug 7, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
I can try to do that.

She just got done with her appointment a little while ago there. I was sent a text saying she made an another appointment on Monday. Its pretty evident she wants to move forward.

I have this weekend to get her to change her mind. I am not even sure what to say other than break down and cry.

I called our pastor by myself and told him what was really going on. He prayed for us and gave me a little bit of advice. I will continue to pray all that I can. I am so distraught right now.

Father, You alone can change her mind. I pray... Lord, I plead with You that You will be merciful - as you have been so often with me when I did not deserve it. Lord, You are kind and loving - even when we have taken our eyes off of You. We set our own snares, Lord and find ourselves feeling our way in the darkness when You are our Light and our Salvation.

Touch her body and mind. I have all the things she has, and though You have chosen not to heal me at this time, it does not mean You cannot heal her. Lord, I've seen you heal before. I have seen miracles. I am asking You to please move in by Your Spirit and flood this precious sister with Your presence; with your oil of healing and of joy; with your Living Water and with everything else she needs. Save this baby. But love this woman like she has never known before. We stand against these laws as they sin against You, and we ask Your forgiveness for the sins of this nation. Give my sister a desire and a great joy at the thought of bringing one more incredible child to the family.

Tell her Tim Tebo's mom was going to abort him, but God stepped in, and she decided to have the baby. Every child is created by You, Lord. Let this woman's body be healed and let this baby be a very blessed child; set apart for your good works. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Hazelelponi · Aug 7, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
I can try to do that.

She just got done with her appointment a little while ago there. I was sent a text saying she made an another appointment on Monday. Its pretty evident she wants to move forward.

I have this weekend to get her to change her mind. I am not even sure what to say other than break down and cry.

I called our pastor by myself and told him what was really going on. He prayed for us and gave me a little bit of advice. I will continue to pray all that I can. I am so distraught right now.

Honestly I can't imagine... so much so I'm not even sure what words I can give to you in comfort. If she does go through with it, just know your second child will be in Heaven with our Lord, safe in His arms.

I know your mourning her even now. IF it's any consolation, I know what it is to mourn a child who dies (albeit mine had 23 years of life) and it's painful, so much so you feel it hard to go on yourself, not even sure how you can manage your next breath.

All I can do is pray for you, and be here for you if you need to vent, and cry.

Endeavourer · Aug 7, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
I can try to do that.

She just got done with her appointment a little while ago there. I was sent a text saying she made an another appointment on Monday. Its pretty evident she wants to move forward.

I have this weekend to get her to change her mind. I am not even sure what to say other than break down and cry.

I called our pastor by myself and told him what was really going on. He prayed for us and gave me a little bit of advice. I will continue to pray all that I can. I am so distraught right now.

I sent you a private message with my son's number.

God bless, and I'll be praying for you and your wife.
((hugs))

Melody Suttles · Aug 7, 2020

Lord Jesus, these are your teachings to the disciples - and I know it is your will that no child should be sacrificed - as You said so often in the old testament. So we pray Your Will, Lord, and we boldly come before your throne of Grace. We know You as Creator, our Savior, and our Friend. Give this mother and father a miracle, and give life and health to the whole family, including the child You are knitting together. Lord, I thank you for a great and amazing story this couple will have to share with someone one day. Give them an adventure of joy, love, knowledge, understanding, and a lot of laughter. In Jesus' name. Amen!

1 John 5:14-15
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

Psalm 8:2
Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger.

Paul4JC · Aug 7, 2020

(Let's keep up the prayers all!)

Lord I agree with my brothers and sisters and we continue to look to you for intervention for this little one. Convict the mother of making a very bad decision. As prayed above put the right people in her life at this time, and keep the wrong people away from her life.

Help Distressed Follower as he's dealing with this from moment to moment. In Jesus name, Amen.

MomofaDozen · Aug 7, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
We are both older parents in our 40's with a younger child. My wife and I have a beautiful 2-year-old girl. This child has been a huge blessing that we prayed for and needed in our lives. Despite all the work, we love her more than anything else.

I'm so sorry to hear that your wife is feeling frail and fearful and that she's giving serious thought to terminating your child's life. That really grieves my heart, especially that she went to Planned Parenthood. They sell abortion, not Life. :-(

My husband and I had a large family. Two of our last children were born when I was in my forties. I had one at 40 and another at almost 44. One just turned 21 today! The other enters adulthood this month.
I have never ever regretted having children that late in life. They are my bodies now that I am in my sixties. I am so glad to have their companionship!

I have friends who had babies at 46 and 47 and they don't regret it either.
The likelihood of you having a child with down syndrome is not necessarily increased. Medical people make guesses but they really don't know what causes it. I have a nephew who has a down syndrome son, and he was born when his parents were around 30. (And that little boy is their treasure.)

Some friends of mine also had a daughter with down syndrome in their thirties. They say that they would not trade her for all the wealth in the world! She is their companion in their old age. They are always glad they have her!

I know another family who had a down syndrome son and then went on to have another one with down syndrome. Just as with the others, the boys are both the delight of their parents and siblings. They LOVE their special brothers!!

None of us knows what the future holds. There's nothing we can do to control it; but when we trust God with our future, we find peace---and God's direct help when we need Him!

I hope and pray that your wife will come to love this baby and not kill him or her. I think she will always, always regret it.
Peace and blessings to you.

MomofaDozen · Aug 7, 2020

P.S. If your wife or you would like some counseling, you can call Focus on the Family or other Christian organizations and ask for prayer or for recommendations for local counselor in your own area.

LoricaLady · Aug 8, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
I can try to do that.

She just got done with her appointment a little while ago there. I was sent a text saying she made an another appointment on Monday. Its pretty evident she wants to move forward.

I have this weekend to get her to change her mind. I am not even sure what to say other than break down and cry.

I called our pastor by myself and told him what was really going on. He prayed for us and gave me a little bit of advice. I will continue to pray all that I can. I am so distraught right now.

I would research and see if, in your state, she has the right to terminate a pregnancy with your child if you are against that. If you know the name of the abortion clinic perhaps even call them and threaten legal action if they kill your child. They may not want to deal with an irate father's reaction.

I would look for some You Tube vids, maybe short ones, that tell of women who never got over the grief of having an abortion, though it seemed like a good thing at the time and encourage her to watch them to see she really will be compounding her emotional problems.

I pray she does not go through with it.

LoricaLady · Aug 8, 2020

P.S. Here are a couple of vids in case they might help.

The Dark Side of Abortion

The Dark Secret Life After An Abortion

I used to volunteer in a place that was trying to help women avoid abortion. I heard a lot of stories like how some would wind up in mental health wards years later due to the distress over their abortions.

Distressed Follower · Aug 8, 2020

Thank you again for your heaps of thoughts and prayers. We both fought about this issue last night. Regardless of my best attempts, no one's mind was changed. She said some hurtful things and brought up stuff I have done before, but I didn't let them pierce me.

She had a child very young before we both met. She had little support back then and almost thought about aborting then, but didn't go through with it. Being in another situation with an unplanned pregnancy brings out all of these emotions and past memories. Plus, her health is worse; she is older; has fears of birth defects and she's not sure if her body can handle it.

I understand her concerns. This is a decision based on fear in my opinion. My wife is not a bad person and she is a wonderful mom to our daughter.

Davist · Aug 9, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
I understand her concerns. This is a decision based on fear in my opinion. My wife is not a bad person and she is a wonderful mom to our daughter.

It doesn't sound like her decision is entirely based on fear. From what you describe, it sounds like there are valid concerns about this pregnancy. Is there anything you can do to address those concerns? Has she talked with a doctor about her medications? Maybe there's something else she can take while pregnant? Also, the concerns about defects, I don't know the situation, but maybe a talk with a doctor could supply more information to both of you (if you haven't seen one already).

I would highly recommend caution with some faith-based abortion consolations. Some groups, while they mean well, will lie or mislead people in hopes that they'll keep their pregnancy. I don't think that's the moral approach. It's kinda, "the ends justify the means", which is a dangerous road. I'm sure there's reputable organizations out there though.

There's a possibility she won't change her mind. It would probably be good to communicate that you love her and you will be there for her regardless of what she decides. A lot of the mental issues with the aftermath of abortion can be caused or made worse by our approach here. In one's effort to dissuade an abortion, it's easy to say things which you can't take back, things which will permanently damage your relationship, things said out of fear rather than love. Be careful.

Stephanie7 · Aug 9, 2020

Heavenly Father, may these parents see through Your eyes and Your heart. I ask for clarity and for wisdom and for peace. You know everything ahead and You see the future and whether this child is meant to be, according to thy plan? I pray that You will give the mother strength, and insight and encouragement and hope and ask that You will take care of the rest and ask that whatever they decide, You will bring a reassuring answer to their prayers, In Jesus Name, Amen

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Aug 9, 2020

Adopted child here.
May God guide you through all of this. My prayers for you!

Distressed Follower · Aug 10, 2020

Here is another update: She is going for sure this afternoon to take the first pill. The procedure is two separate pills that are taken 24-48 hours apart from each other. I have accepted her having the procedure at this point. I'm mainly praying for her not to bleed out or have complications. However, I am still holding on to some hope that she changes her mind at the last minute.

We have been pretty distant this weekend. My demeanor has been cold towards her. I have nothing nice to say so I don't say anything at all. She suggested this morning that maybe we should separate from each other for a bit, because I obviously hate her. I claimed that's not the case and that wouldn't solve anything. I don't hate her; I am just angry and very depressed. Our marriage has gotten through too much turmoil to throw it away now. I am praying that way stay together after this. We may need to seek a counselor or something once we're on speaking terms again.

Stephanie7 · Aug 10, 2020

I'm so sorry, may God help, even now before the pill is swallowed. Heavenly Father, if she goes through with it, may she not have complications, but if there is hope for this child and a future, intercede. Soften her heart. This is such a difficult situation, may You help the father to cope if she should go through with it, In Jesus Name, Amen,

Paul4JC · Aug 11, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
She suggested this morning that maybe we should separate from each other for a bit, because I obviously hate her. I claimed that's not the case and that wouldn't solve anything. I don't hate her; I am just angry and very depressed.

Certainly. Does she realize at all her anger that she is going to violently end a human life. That is not some parasite in her but a life of his/her very own. Now is the time to challenge her, later you'll both be dealing with the repercussions. Don't get me wrong. Still with you heart and soul, but this is just too much for me.

Lord we are still asking for your intervention of this life, in Jesus name, Amen.

[Pro 31:8 NIV] 8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.

LoricaLady · Aug 12, 2020

Distressed Follower said:
Here is another update: She is going for sure this afternoon to take the first pill. The procedure is two separate pills that are taken 24-48 hours apart from each other. I have accepted her having the procedure at this point. I'm mainly praying for her not to bleed out or have complications. However, I am still holding on to some hope that she changes her mind at the last minute.

We have been pretty distant this weekend. My demeanor has been cold towards her. I have nothing nice to say so I don't say anything at all. She suggested this morning that maybe we should separate from each other for a bit, because I obviously hate her. I claimed that's not the case and that wouldn't solve anything. I don't hate her; I am just angry and very depressed. Our marriage has gotten through too much turmoil to throw it away now. I am praying that way stay together after this. We may need to seek a counselor or something once we're on speaking terms again.

I am praying for your marriage because another kind of collateral damage seen with abortion is that the parents of the aborted child, marred or not, often separate afterwards.

Szilver · Aug 13, 2020

Praying for you and your family.

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