Dear ladies,
This is going to be a totally self-indulgent post in that I desperately need to just splurge how I'm feeling somewhere!!
I'm not going through anything desperate, just reaching the end of pregnancy and not coping very well with the little things. Please encourage/ give advice on how to survive the last few weeks!
I'm scared about the labour. Although this is my second baby ds was born at 30 weeks by caesarean so it's like this is my first delivery (I never went into labour). I don't know how I'm going to cope. I'm scared I'll be a disgrace to myself and Jesus. I'm scared I'll be a mess and a baby.
But I also just want this pregnancy over with. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow. I'm not too huge but this last week I've found it almost impossible to sleep so I'm EXHAUSTED. I thought the baby had dropped a little, which made me feel better (like the end was in sight) but the midwife said he's just sitting on my pelvis and is not engaged at all. I was really disappointed, added to which, his position is causing me a lot of pain to the point where I can hardly walk. So I've housebound the past week, barely able to stand at times. I haven't even been able to take my 2 year old to the park.
I love my ds very much but he's quite demanding - he doesn't seem able to play by himself very much, so he's constantly needing input from me. I find this tiring most days, but lately I think he's starting to grow out of his daytime nap. By 1pm he's usually shattered and I'm desperate for a break. I've been catching up on sleep, or just resting during this time. But this week he's hardly slept at all in the day so I've had no break. I put him up in his cot for an hour anyway, but I don't really rest because I'm listening out in case he's getting distressed.
Lastly my mum has gone away this week and so my usual support line is gone. I know she's allowed a holiday and I'm glad she's having a break (she's very busy caring for my grandparents a lot of the time), but I feel really angry with her, and I'm really upset that she went away just two weeks before I'm due!!
I know all these things are such little trials, but they add up to me feeling tired, depressed and very miserable. i'm trying to fix my eyes on Jesus, and remember that this is just for a short time but I'm feeling desperate. I know other people are going through far worse things, so please forgive this rather self-indulgent message. I just need someone to know how I'm feeling.
This is going to be a totally self-indulgent post in that I desperately need to just splurge how I'm feeling somewhere!!
I'm not going through anything desperate, just reaching the end of pregnancy and not coping very well with the little things. Please encourage/ give advice on how to survive the last few weeks!
I'm scared about the labour. Although this is my second baby ds was born at 30 weeks by caesarean so it's like this is my first delivery (I never went into labour). I don't know how I'm going to cope. I'm scared I'll be a disgrace to myself and Jesus. I'm scared I'll be a mess and a baby.
But I also just want this pregnancy over with. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow. I'm not too huge but this last week I've found it almost impossible to sleep so I'm EXHAUSTED. I thought the baby had dropped a little, which made me feel better (like the end was in sight) but the midwife said he's just sitting on my pelvis and is not engaged at all. I was really disappointed, added to which, his position is causing me a lot of pain to the point where I can hardly walk. So I've housebound the past week, barely able to stand at times. I haven't even been able to take my 2 year old to the park.
I love my ds very much but he's quite demanding - he doesn't seem able to play by himself very much, so he's constantly needing input from me. I find this tiring most days, but lately I think he's starting to grow out of his daytime nap. By 1pm he's usually shattered and I'm desperate for a break. I've been catching up on sleep, or just resting during this time. But this week he's hardly slept at all in the day so I've had no break. I put him up in his cot for an hour anyway, but I don't really rest because I'm listening out in case he's getting distressed.
Lastly my mum has gone away this week and so my usual support line is gone. I know she's allowed a holiday and I'm glad she's having a break (she's very busy caring for my grandparents a lot of the time), but I feel really angry with her, and I'm really upset that she went away just two weeks before I'm due!!
I know all these things are such little trials, but they add up to me feeling tired, depressed and very miserable. i'm trying to fix my eyes on Jesus, and remember that this is just for a short time but I'm feeling desperate. I know other people are going through far worse things, so please forgive this rather self-indulgent message. I just need someone to know how I'm feeling.
