Spanking: Hand or Paddle

[HeatherJay]

Sorry guys, this is getting way off topic and it's getting kind of nasty in here, so I'm going to close the thread temporarily in order to let everyone cool off a bit, and also to do a bit of cleaning.

 

[HeatherJay]

*** MOD HAT ON ***

This is not the proper place to debate whether or not parents should or should not spank. The OP was specifically asking for opinions from parents who do choose to spank. I trashed a lot of posts and did a few edits (I think I need a nap now) so hopefully we can keep this thread on topic and avoid it being closed permanently. Any further violations of forum rules will result in warnings. Help me out here, guys.

*** MOD HAT OFF ***

 

[sherryberry]

I am so disgusted with what I am reading. Children are a precious gift from God and they are to be cherished and respected. Just because kids are little and defenceless doesn't give you the right to use hitting to discipline them. And yes it is Hitting and it changes who they are. It robs them of their dignity.

If you were to hit an adult or an animal, you would be criminally charged. Children have a RIGHT to not be hit, just as you and I do. Thank the good Lord above that there are good and decent people out there who are looking out for and defending the rights of children.

Kids grow up and become adults and you will be held accountable for your treatment of them...and you better have some darn good answers.

Frankly, if I had a parent that treated me like some of the abusers in this thread and on this site do, you would be cut out of my life forever...because I would know that you abused your position as my parent and took it upon yourself to disrupt the natural development of my self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Quit hitting your kids just because you can and do your job properly. You have a duty and an obligation to them and no matter how you justify it, you have No right to hit them.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

I am so disgusted with what I am reading. Children are a precious gift from God and they are to be cherished and respected. Just because kids are little and defenceless doesn't give you the right to use hitting to discipline them. And yes it is Hitting and it changes who they are. It robs them of their dignity.

If you were to hit an adult or an animal, you would be criminally charged. Children have a RIGHT to not be hit, just as you and I do. Thank the good Lord above that there are good and decent people out there who are looking out for and defending the rights of children.

Kids grow up and become adults and you will be held accountable for your treatment of them...and you better have some darn good answers.

Frankly, if I had a parent that treated me like some of the abusers in this thread and on this site do, you would be cut out of my life forever...because I would know that you abused your position as my parent and took it upon yourself to disrupt the natural development of my self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Quit hitting your kids just because you can and do your job properly. You have a duty and an obligation to them and no matter how you justify it, you have No right to hit them.

oh brother....................

read your Bible and understand the difference in sparin the ROD an spoilin the child... research the use of the word ROD.... it hasn't got a thin in the world to do wit beatin/hittin a child.... it has EVERTHIN to do wit CORRECTIN a child.... not jes beatin the snot out of em..................

 

[sherryberry]

Oh you'll be reading plenty of your bible...in jail!

You are about the most most stupid uneduated and ignorant individual I have ever come across. I feel sorry for your kids and hope they disown you one day for disrespecting them. You will be sorry and you will pay for your abuse and misuse of power over them. Hope your son grows up and kicks your teeth in.

Furthermore I am hoping the police will arrest you for child abuse.

The bible is only taken literally by stupid idiots like yourself and used to justify your evil acts on little innocent children. You're nothing but a bully and I hope you find yourself in jail, on the end of the belt of some big buck homesexual who hates child abusers!!!

You are a disgrace to parenting and to God himself.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Oh you'll be reading plenty of your bible...in jail!

You are about the most most stupid uneduated and ignorant individual I have ever come across. I feel sorry for your kids and hope they disown you one day for disrespecting them. You will be sorry and you will pay for your abuse and misuse of power over them. Hope your son grows up and kicks your teeth in.

Furthermore I am hoping the police will arrest you for child abuse.

The bible is only taken literally by stupid idiots like yourself and used to justify your evil acts on little innocent children. You're nothing but a bully and I hope you find yourself in jail, on the end of the belt of some big buck homesexual who hates child abusers!!!

You are a disgrace to parenting and to God himself.

Cain't you jes feel the christian love in here?

Your icon says your catholic.... I was under the impression that catholics not only took the Bible literally they love to add 'the church' teachins/interpetations etc as gosple.

Not to derail the thread any further then it already is... not to mention a huge blast from the past.... if you do not take God's word as fact an literally then your missin the entire point. God's word is fact, not sumthin to later turn round try an change an the like.

Spankin *can* be abuse.... but then it's no longer spankin.... it's simply abuse. I was spanked many many times wit all sorts of stuff, didn't make me hate er disown my parents... an the handful of times I have to spank any of my 5 children can pretty much be counted on one hand. I don't need to defend my decison to spank to you er anyone. It is my right as a parent an it is my duty to train my children in the way they SHOULD go, so when they are old they will not depart from it. If we as parents don't disipline our children soceity ends up wit a bunch of useless idiots like what we're seein wit this entitlement mentaility runnin round the U.S.

 

[sherryberry]

You really are an idiot if you think I was actually implying that parents shouldn't discipline their chlildren!

You desperately need to seek out someone who is an expert at interpretting the bible because you have seriously misunderstood your role as a parent. You have taken it upon yourself to take the easy way out in disciplining youir kids instead of truly teaching them how to be good people.

Perhaps when you falter, you should have a belt taken to your butt as well. Oh I'm sorry, wouldn't that be considered ASSAULT! Children are no different and they have a right to not be hit. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD!

You strike me as some kind of hick who's still living in a cave and doesn't understand that spanking kids takes away from their dignity and their self-resepct. There are case studies that have proved this over and over again. It interferes with their development.

All you are really teaching your children with your hitting, is that when things don't go well or someone doesn't do what you want, the answer is violence and physical pain...and using the bible to justify it! You really have no idea of the damage you are causing to your own kids. It's very sad to me.

You should always treat your kids with respect and when they do something wrong, teach them...don't hit them. There are so many other ways to discipline kids that are effective and won't interrrupt their emotional development and well-being.

You are just a very ignorant man who really needs to get an education and stop spouting a bunch a crap. To me, you are not a good father...but merely a bully who misuses his power and hits his kids.

If you won't listen to me, then maybe you will listen to the authorities when you are arrested for child abuse...because that's exactly what it is.

Good Lord, help us all!

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

You really are an idiot if you think I was actually implying that parents shouldn't discipline their chlildren!

You desperately need to seek out someone who is an expert at interpretting the bible because you have seriously misunderstood your role as a parent. You have taken it upon yourself to take the easy way out in disciplining youir kids instead of truly teaching them how to be good people.

Perhaps when you falter, you should have a belt taken to your butt as well. Oh I'm sorry, wouldn't that be considered ASSAULT! Children are no different and they have a right to not be hit. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD!

You strike me as some kind of hick who's still living in a cave and doesn't understand that spanking kids takes away from their dignity and their self-resepct. There are case studies that have proved this over and over again. It interferes with their development.

All you are really teaching your children with your hitting, is that when things don't go well or someone doesn't do what you want, the answer is violence and physical pain...and using the bible to justify it! You really have no idea of the damage you are causing to your own kids. It's very sad to me.

You should always treat your kids with respect and when they do something wrong, teach them...don't hit them. There are so many other ways to discipline kids that are effective and won't interrrupt their emotional development and well-being.

You are just a very ignorant man who really needs to get an education and stop spouting a bunch a crap. To me, you are not a good father...but merely a bully who misuses his power and hits his kids.

If you won't listen to me, then maybe you will listen to the authorities when you are arrested for child abuse...because that's exactly what it is.

Good Lord, help us all!

Sounds to me a belt er paddle shoulda been used a bit more often on your backside.

Threatin wit the 'authorities' an the like.... lil silly, while they may have outlawed spankin in some areas it is not outlawed here an it shouldn't be... like you say, there are many effective ways in disicpline, so there are to in spankin, there absoultely a right an a wrong way to do it.

Are you jes trollin? Considerin you dug up a 6 er 7 year old thread to flame folks?

 

[Kimberly09]

I am a firm believer in non spanking, but I am a believer in time outs in positive discipline. In my opinion there are other ways to enforce rules and discipline in a more positive manner than spanking a child.

I do not spank my girls, and they are very well behaved children for never being spanked in their life and that is because I use positive reinforcement. They do not like time outs anymore than a child wouldn't like a spanking. They sit by the age rule. Since my daughter is 5, the appropriate time for her to sit in the corner is 5 min. If my 17 month old is getting into something she should not, I will walk over to her place my hand on hers and direct her hand away from whatever she is trying to get into. When I am reprimanding them, I always get down on their level so that they do not feel I am talking "at" them, but talking to them.

However, I do not judge parents that choose to spank their children, every parent and child is different and there are so many different backgrounds people come from. If a parent is going to "spank" a child, then there are boundaries. I do not believe that their should be multiple swats. Small children should be limited to 1 spank per year of age, up to 3 spanks maximum. Spanking should not be done on the bare bottom, but at the minimum on a layer of cloth. A child should never be struck anywhere except on the bottom. Spanking should be done only with your bare hand so you can accurately gauge how much force you are putting behind each stroke.

 

[lynnbeau]

I use my hand when I spank. I've heard the adage that if you spank with your hand, then your children will associate your hands with punishment and not 'love'. This might happen if you don't use your hands for loving your child - gentle touches, hugs, etc. But my hands are used most of the time for loving, gentle touches - however, spanking is also done out of love for my children. They are no longer under the umbrella of my or my dh's blessing - they are not under our protection from our enemy and need to be brought back under - discipline is love. I talk to them about why the spanking is necessary and what they have done - usually some form of defiance. I don't spank for childish behaviour. After the spank, I then hold my child and pray with them for forgiveness. I make sure they know I have forgiven them as well. This is from the book Shepherding a Child's Heart. Another great book is Rivers of Grace - a more difficult book to find.
I also spank on bare bum - then they feel it. Why spank if they don't feel the impact?
I also don't spank when I am angry - if I feel that I am angry, I have my husband take over. I rarely feel angry though b/c I know it is done out of love and I hate having to do it.

I rarely have to spank my children b/c we discuss things thoroughly in everyday life. They desire to live by God's laws and by the love of Christ. That is taught foremost.

 

[IAMstillis]

I don't think spanking is all bad, Lord knows I got a few I desperately needed when I was coming up.
I do however think there is one time when you absolutely cannot spank your children: I have a friend whose husband beats her. and because of that her children hit each other and they also hit her. As a result of this unfortunate situation she obviously can't spank her kids to teach them that hitting is wrong, or to teach them that hitting is the appropriate response when some one does something bad. She's gotta stick with time outs and privilege restrictions...

 

[sherryberry]

Addicted2~Jesus: you need to change your screenname to Addicted2~beating my kids.

I actually have sympathy for you because you were beaten as a child and you don't even realize that it was wrong and that we now know a better way.

You go on about Jesus and the bible but you don't know Jesus at all. None of you obviousy do, if your advocating spanking as a good form of discipline.

Jesus had a very deep love and respect for children and he never once role modeled spanking them. NEVER. He was whipped, but he never whipped any other human being on earth! Jesus sat down and spoke to children with respect and taught them the difference between right and wrong...through teaching and sharing...not through beatings and spankings. If Jesus is really your role model then start acting like he did and get some respect for children.

When you beat a child, you teach them that the way to deal with conflict is through physical violence. Don't be surprised one day if your son hauls off and punches you square in the jaw because YOU taught him that this is how to deal with conflict. Like are you really this stupid to not realize the damage you are causing?! Stop the cycle of abuse and quit passing your dysfunctional behavior down to future generations...in the so-called name of Jesus. How utterly disgusting.

You need to sit down and talk to your children and teach them about how to be a good person...not hit them! It's wrong and everyone has a right to NOT be hit...including and most especially kids.

Don't be a lazy parent who doesn't take the time to properly teach and educate his children and guide them into becoming good contributing adults. A spanking and the belt doesn't teach anything but pain. It's the easy way for you, spanking them. It's much harder to talk to your children and sit down with them eye to eye. You just have no idea how to be a good parent.


Get an education and start offering yourself and your children a real chance to know God and Jesus. The example you are setting is not one of Jesus at all. Jesus was not known for encouraging spanking children. You've gotta be a real idiot if you're trying to convince people otherwise. Get a serious education and please quit talking through your butt, frankly, Addicted2~Jesus.


You're nothing but a glorified child beater who is trying to use Jesus to justify your abusing your children. Hitting in any form is ABUSE. You are in total denial about the harm you are causing your poor innocent children. How very sad. I know Jesus thinks so too.

I hope you will change your ways and start following what Jesus REALLY taught us. He is an excellent role model but you are a disgrace.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Addicted2~Jesus: you need to change your screenname to Addicted2~beating my kids.

I actually have sympathy for you because you were beaten as a child and you don't even realize that it was wrong and that we now know a better way.

You go on about Jesus and the bible but you don't know Jesus at all. None of you obviousy do, if your advocating spanking as a good form of discipline.

Jesus had a very deep love and respect for children and he never once role modeled spanking them. NEVER. He was whipped, but he never whipped any other human being on earth! Jesus sat down and spoke to children with respect and taught them the difference between right and wrong...through teaching and sharing...not through beatings and spankings. If Jesus is really your role model then start acting like he did and get some respect for children.

When you beat a child, you teach them that the way to deal with conflict is through physical violence. Don't be surprised one day if your son hauls off and punches you square in the jaw because YOU taught him that this is how to deal with conflict. Like are you really this stupid to not realize the damage you are causing?! Stop the cycle of abuse and quit passing your dysfunctional behavior down to future generations...in the so-called name of Jesus. How utterly disgusting.

You need to sit down and talk to your children and teach them about how to be a good person...not hit them! It's wrong and everyone has a right to NOT be hit...including and most especially kids.

Don't be a lazy parent who doesn't take the time to properly teach and educate his children and guide them into becoming good contributing adults. A spanking and the belt doesn't teach anything but pain. It's the easy way for you, spanking them. It's much harder to talk to your children and sit down with them eye to eye. You just have no idea how to be a good parent.


Get an education and start offering yourself and your children a real chance to know God and Jesus. The example you are setting is not one of Jesus at all. Jesus was not known for encouraging spanking children. You've gotta be a real idiot if you're trying to convince people otherwise. Get a serious education and please quit talking through your butt, frankly, Addicted2~Jesus.


You're nothing but a glorified child beater who is trying to use Jesus to justify your abusing your children. Hitting in any form is ABUSE. You are in total denial about the harm you are causing your poor innocent children. How very sad. I know Jesus thinks so too.

I hope you will change your ways and start following what Jesus REALLY taught us. He is an excellent role model but you are a disgrace.

Ya know..... I don't report folks er the like.... kinda figure someone else will do it.. an I'd be violatin rules an the like to say I'm surprised bout how far this site has fallen.

Lil lady you've done made four posts, ever one of em in here an all of em filled wit YOUR opinion...... I'm goin to tell ya sumthin, opinions are like butt holes... everones got one, an ain't nobody want a second one.

Your entitled to your opinion an I'm entitled to mine, your continued attacks against me an my character serve lil to further this 6 er 7 year old thread.

You say beat... I say spank.... they are two totally different thins. If you beat your children for wrong doin then I agree you are abusin em to jes beat them. If you spank your children to correct a wrong doin then you are not beatin them.

Peace to you, I simply have to shake the dust from my feet where you are concerned.

 

[IAMstillis]

Ya know..... I don't report folks er the like.... kinda figure someone else will do it.. an I'd be violatin rules an the like to say I'm surprised bout how far this site has fallen.

Lil lady you've done made four posts, ever one of em in here an all of em filled wit YOUR opinion...... I'm goin to tell ya sumthin, opinions are like butt holes... everones got one, an ain't nobody want a second one.

Your entitled to your opinion an I'm entitled to mine, your continued attacks against me an my character serve lil to further this 6 er 7 year old thread.

You say beat... I say spank.... they are two totally different thins. If you beat your children for wrong doin then I agree you are abusin em to jes beat them. If you spank your children to correct a wrong doin then you are not beatin them.

Peace to you, I simply have to shake the dust from my feet where you are concerned.

Mmm yeah, I reported her =-) because I think she is being unnecessarily abusive. And she seems to be targeting you in particular.

God Bless.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I am so disgusted with what I am reading. Children are a precious gift from God and they are to be cherished and respected. Just because kids are little and defenceless doesn't give you the right to use hitting to discipline them. And yes it is Hitting and it changes who they are. It robs them of their dignity.

If you were to hit an adult or an animal, you would be criminally charged. Children have a RIGHT to not be hit, just as you and I do. Thank the good Lord above that there are good and decent people out there who are looking out for and defending the rights of children.

Kids grow up and become adults and you will be held accountable for your treatment of them...and you better have some darn good answers.

Frankly, if I had a parent that treated me like some of the abusers in this thread and on this site do, you would be cut out of my life forever...because I would know that you abused your position as my parent and took it upon yourself to disrupt the natural development of my self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Quit hitting your kids just because you can and do your job properly. You have a duty and an obligation to them and no matter how you justify it, you have No right to hit them.

I agree!I had a babysitter beat me metal objects.I don't ever want to see her again and worry about her abusing other child.My parents claim she dead,wont talk about her much.I think boards and belts are just as bad.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I don't know that there's anythin specific in the Bible to say which should be used etc, the book of Proverbs talks bout a rod. I don't take that to mean a ten foot pole foot across like a club. Switches...

I seen an old dictionary,that said Rod also meant Authority,so I'm not sure if people got the wrong weaning out of Rod. I'm not getting how people got spank with a peice of wood, out of the word Rod.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

I seen an old dictionary,that said Rod also meant Authority,so I'm not sure if people got the wrong weaning out of Rod. I'm not getting how people got spank with a peice of wood, out of the word Rod.

uh huh...... and?

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

uh huh...... and?

Meaning people are using object to beat there kids,when Rod might have meant something totaly different in the 1900's or when it was translated in english.Also why would anyone think sticks is really supposed to mean Rod,instead of an actual metal Rod.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Meaning people are using object to beat there kids,when Rod might have meant something totaly different in the 1900's or when it was translated in english.Also why would anyone think sticks is really supposed to mean Rod,instead of an actual metal Rod.

Ah, I was missin your point while quotin me. Thanks for clearin that up.

 

[CelticRose]

...but he never whipped any other human being on earth!

Can we at least be accurate, people? John2:15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;

No, there is no evidence that Jesus actually beat people ~ though frankly in the ensuring chaos I'm sure some felt the touch of that scourge though it would appear to have been so small & light [possibly made from reeds or light rope] as to not actually hurt much but there are several points:

1. It was a pre~meditated act. Jesus went to the trouble to find the materials & fashion the implement.

2. It was used as a discipline & a warning to prevent greater & harsher discipline befalling the people.

3. It was a symbol of His authority & His right to maintain order in His own household ~ & it was His own House & the house of His father.

Jesus believes in discipline. If we won't do it ourselves then we get helped for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines: and He scourges every son whom He acknowledges." Hebrews 12:6

Lastly, every man is responsible for the orderly management of his own household [God is a God of order] for which He is responsible before God & held accountable. It is no~one else's business for we are not to be idle, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which[we] ought not. 1Tim5:13

The original question is not being addressed at all. Can someone please lock this thread?