Son doesn't want to leave the house.

[Akmauser]

Admittedly this is our fault - the family as a whole with me and my wife being guilty and his grandparents not helping matters.

Disclaimer: I had this HUGE post typed and feel it was well warranted, but was worried about giving more information than needed. Basically it would be better to spend more time writing this all down and revising it or will answer questions as they are asked. Whichever works best!


Anyways, my son doesn't want to leave the house. All he wants to do is stay inside and play games or watch TV. He puts up a rather large fight and makes my wife late for her appointments. We're running out of summer days and the long cold winter months are approaching.

Has anyone else had this issue? Yes, I've taken everything away before and limited his time, but we live in a condo and he gets fixated on things and throws fits which makes the neighbors made since there is no insulation between the floors. So I am trying to strike a balance.

Obviously there is MUCH more to this due to my wife's health and me always being gone.

 

[HTacianas]

Admittedly this is our fault - the family as a whole with me and my wife being guilty and his grandparents not helping matters.

Disclaimer: I had this HUGE post typed and feel it was well warranted, but was worried about giving more information than needed. Basically it would be better to spend more time writing this all down and revising it or will answer questions as they are asked. Whichever works best!


Anyways, my son doesn't want to leave the house. All he wants to do is stay inside and play games or watch TV. He puts up a rather large fight and makes my wife late for her appointments. We're running out of summer days and the long cold winter months are approaching.

Has anyone else had this issue? Yes, I've taken everything away before and limited his time, but we live in a condo and he gets fixated on things and throws fits which makes the neighbors made since there is no insulation between the floors. So I am trying to strike a balance.

Obviously there is MUCH more to this due to my wife's health and me always being gone.

When you are home, and you have errands to run, bring your son with you. Also, plan something you and your son can do together. Baseball game, fishing, camping, washing the car. Anything will do.

 

[bcbsr]

Admittedly this is our fault - the family as a whole with me and my wife being guilty and his grandparents not helping matters.

Disclaimer: I had this HUGE post typed and feel it was well warranted, but was worried about giving more information than needed. Basically it would be better to spend more time writing this all down and revising it or will answer questions as they are asked. Whichever works best!


Anyways, my son doesn't want to leave the house. All he wants to do is stay inside and play games or watch TV. He puts up a rather large fight and makes my wife late for her appointments. We're running out of summer days and the long cold winter months are approaching.

Has anyone else had this issue? Yes, I've taken everything away before and limited his time, but we live in a condo and he gets fixated on things and throws fits which makes the neighbors made since there is no insulation between the floors. So I am trying to strike a balance.

Obviously there is MUCH more to this due to my wife's health and me always being gone.

If he were 30 years old, that would be a problem.

 

[MoneyGuy]

How old is he? Does he have job training or skills? He may be depressed.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Too little information.

 

[drjean]

Are you cooking and cleaning for him? Does he have keys to the condo? Does he have chores? Is anything demanded of him? This is like the guy who won't marry the girl he's going to bed with...why should he when he has everything he wants, no reason to change.

It's a little late if he's old enough to get out on his own and get a job, for you to realize you failed at raising him... but still fixable.

IDK which way you are strong... you said you took everything away but that he stills plays computer games. How? Through the invisible air through his mind? I would advise you seek counseling---all of you and if he won't go, then you and spouse go and become a team or he will be there to take the house when you're old and he might put YOU out on the street.

 

[bekkilyn]

It's possible he could have agoraphobia. Is he actually afraid and anxious about leaving the house? If he is afraid, would he admit it? You could have him checked to see if there are any medical (physical or mental) issues before taking any drastic measures that may only make the issue worse.

 

[Akmauser]

Thanks everyone! Guess there is not enough information.

How old is he? Does he have job training or skills? He may be depressed.

He is 7 years old and has been through a lot with death in the family, bully at the school holding a knife to him (kid didn't get in trouble because the mother is a substitute), and my wife being an an auto accident requiring a lot of surgery and down time. She was also recently diagnosed with PPMS, and its rather aggressive. She is on a lot of medication, in a lot of pain, and can be verbally abusive at time. He is having difficulties dealing with everything lately.

We had him evaluated four or five months ago, and the lady said he is a strong, healthy, intelligent kids, that is not depressed, but does have ADHD. For whatever that is worth.

When you are home, and you have errands to run, bring your son with you. Also, plan something you and your son can do together. Baseball game, fishing, camping, washing the car. Anything will do.

See above. That makes it difficult since my wife insists on taking both kids. I also have a five year old little girl. With this being said, I do try to involve him often.

Are you cooking and cleaning for him? Does he have keys to the condo? Does he have chores? Is anything demanded of him? This is like the guy who won't marry the girl he's going to bed with...why should he when he has everything he wants, no reason to change.

It's a little late if he's old enough to get out on his own and get a job, for you to realize you failed at raising him... but still fixable.

IDK which way you are strong... you said you took everything away but that he stills plays computer games. How? Through the invisible air through his mind? I would advise you seek counseling---all of you and if he won't go, then you and spouse go and become a team or he will be there to take the house when you're old and he might put YOU out on the street.

See above!!! He still just a little guy

Our family has been going through a lot this last few years. To answer your question. I take things away and sometimes he won't get them back for months, but when my wife is having a huge MS week or month is when she caves in due to migraines, pain, and lack of sleep when I am at work. This is how the cycle starts all over. I am actually thinking about getting rid of Netflix and the internet for a month to see how it plays out, but my wife and myself actually need it through the day. One option would be to limit it by only turning it on when he is a sleep - we just starting talking about this today. We also think when school starts back up he will be busy most of the day with homework and after school activities. This would also be a good time to start making changes.

It's possible he could have agoraphobia. Is he actually afraid and anxious about leaving the house? If he is afraid, would he admit it? You could have him checked to see if there are any medical (physical or mental) issues before taking any drastic measures that may only make the issue worse.

I'll have to research that. He was check out a while back (see above). However, we didn't have this issue back then.



Thanks to everyone responding, and let me apologize for not giving enough information.

 

[Chinchilla]

He is 7 years old and has been through a lot with death in the family, bully at the school holding a knife to him

Maybe change school ? Or change place where you live and call it new beginning and proclaim older things pass away .

 

[Akmauser]

Maybe change school ? Or change place where you live and call it new beginning and proclaim older things pass away .

Yes! That is what I want to do, but wife doesn't want to move unless absolutely necessary. My entire family and friends agree a fresh start is needed.

 

[Sunshyne]

Thanks everyone! Guess there is not enough information.



He is 7 years old and has been through a lot with death in the family, bully at the school holding a knife to him (kid didn't get in trouble because the mother is a substitute), and my wife being an an auto accident requiring a lot of surgery and down time. She was also recently diagnosed with PPMS, and its rather aggressive. She is on a lot of medication, in a lot of pain, and can be verbally abusive at time. He is having difficulties dealing with everything lately.

We had him evaluated four or five months ago, and the lady said he is a strong, healthy, intelligent kids, that is not depressed, but does have ADHD. For whatever that is worth.




See above. That makes it difficult since my wife insists on taking both kids. I also have a five year old little girl. With this being said, I do try to involve him often.




See above!!! He still just a little guy

Our family has been going through a lot this last few years. To answer your question. I take things away and sometimes he won't get them back for months, but when my wife is having a huge MS week or month is when she caves in due to migraines, pain, and lack of sleep when I am at work. This is how the cycle starts all over. I am actually thinking about getting rid of Netflix and the internet for a month to see how it plays out, but my wife and myself actually need it through the day. One option would be to limit it by only turning it on when he is a sleep - we just starting talking about this today. We also think when school starts back up he will be busy most of the day with homework and after school activities. This would also be a good time to start making changes.




I'll have to research that. He was check out a while back (see above). However, we didn't have this issue back then.



Thanks to everyone responding, and let me apologize for not giving enough information.

I have agoraphobia. It's horrible. I have panic attacks a lot when I leave the house. From the info you've given, it doesn't sound like agoraphobia to me, but I'm not a professional. Could be PTSD from the bully and your wife's health situation. Counseling may be very helpful.