Something There?

[PTL1234]

Ok - I will try to keep this as brief as possible, but if you would like more info, let me know -

I currently attend a Bible college and have met some of my best friends there - among them is this guy who has grown to be one of my closest guy friends anywhere. I've gone back and forth on the whole 'do I like him more than a friend' idea - but I am completely comfortable being myself - being girly and the whole 9 yards around him - and we tend to have these moments where we'll lock eye contact for longer than you would with others, without saying a word, or talking to each other as if there isn't a single other person in the room.

Not to mention random little things that he does/says like, when our creepy neighbor was asking if I was single, he told me I should say next time that my husband lives in the guys house down the road (where he and our other guy friends live), or at the movies with our whole group of friends, the arm between the seats moves and he put it up and said, oh look now we can snuggle, and put on a big goofy grin then put the arm back down and changed the topic.

I have mixed feelings as to whether or not he has any towards me, he's a sealed vault when it comes to people trying to read him/read what he's thinking... but he is exactly the kind of man of God that I would like to be with someday...but I also believe that I should be pursued and have total peace as I've been praying about this, that I am not going to say anything to him about it - that he's been the man in our friendship, so he would be the man in something more too....very frustrating. lol

So, yes, does anyone out there have any objective thoughts - I really could use any and prayers too...thanks so much!!!

 

[Bootstrap]

he is exactly the kind of man of God that I would like to be with someday...but I also believe that I should be pursued and have total peace as I've been praying about this, that I am not going to say anything to him about it - that he's been the man in our friendship, so he would be the man in something more too....very frustrating.

Are you sure that he plays by the same rules you are playing by?

I think there are guys who only want to pursue a woman if they know she wants to be pursued. Especially in a good friendship, because some women get frustrated that guys can never just be friends.

So if you are frustrated, would like to date him, and hope he will pursue you, I'd suggest you find some way of letting him know that ...

Jonathan

 

[Blank123]

i agree with the above ^^ it *sounds* like there may be some interest there but without knowing him i can't say if thats definitely the case. only he and God know for sure.

Pursuing is usually thrown in one persons lap or the other to take full responsibility for but IMHO it is a two way street. I think thats where a lot of frustration comes from in relationships actually. If the guy is expected to pursue and doesn't then the girl gets frustrated because he's not showing interest but he could be equally frustrated that he's not seeing any interest on her part to make him feel like there's any hope or reason to pursue a deeper relationship.

You need to pursue him enough to give him encouragement that there is interest there and he needs to do his part in pursuing you. Its a risk to send him those signals without any guarantee, and i know how scary that can be, but all relationships are a risk to some degree. If he's the guy you want then, like bootstrap said, find a way to let him know you're interested. Flirt with him, invite him to hang out with you more, call him just to talk, or whatever it takes to let him know you enjoy his company.

 

[nbiol]

Advice my sister gave me once was that guys do the pursuing, girls do the initiating.

A girl has to let the guy know that she's interested before a guy will pursue something. In this case it seems as if he wants to protect your honor. Let him subtly know that you're interested in pursuing something and hopefully he'll catch the hint

All in God's timing..