Something that happened tonight

[flowerforever7]

Hey all,

I want to get your take on a situation that happened tonight that I am hoping was OCD and not me, but please be honest on your assessment of the situation?

I was invited over somewhere, I went there. There were these gummy bears on the table. I was told I could have some. I did, but while doing so I mentally said something to the effect of that I should not have much more because my food sensitivities, and it having a negative effect on me. The person hosting also made popcorn, and I had some. After some bites of the popcorn, I thought I may have a gummy bear to push some of the popcorn residue in my throat down. (I often get small bits of food debris that sit in my throat.) It wasn't that bad though tonight after eating the popcorn. As I was about to have the gummy bear I thought that I shouldn't and that I would be going back on what I said earlier in my mind about that I should not have much. Anyway, as I started to eat the gummy bear, I felt convicted that I shouldn't be eating it, and felt frustrated at the conviction. I am not sure if I was frustrated at the Holy Spirit or not; I may have been. I started to feel the phrase "Get behind me Satan." come out in my mind and I was starting to resist it, but then I gave into the thought and it happened. I do not think the Holy Spirit is Satan at all. But I do think I felt frustrated in that moment, and possibly toward the Holy Spirit about being convicted to not eat that gummy bear; and about feeling convicted when I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing. As I was chewing it I thought I need to go spit it out to show my repentance and love toward the Holy Spirit, but instead I kept chewing it and swallowed it. I felt awful that I did this. Wow. I told myself that I needed to immediately go pray and ask God to remember my transgressions toward His Holy Spirit no more. I discovered I had one small piece of the gummy bear left in my mouth and I believe I spit it out.

Does this sound like I genuinely sinned against God's Spirit tonight? Or does this sound like it was OCD? Please explain why? Please be totally honest in your assessment.

Thank you.

 

[1Prophetess]

Nah. If you ate it and think the Holy Spirit didn't like it, just go to I John 1:9, confess it and move on.

 

[gracealone]

HI Flower,
OCD,OCD,OCD! Scrupulosity!
Now this isn't going to seem right and it certaintly wouldn't feel right but the best thing you could have done in response to this whole OCD episode would have been to go and get even more gummy bears and eat them. Then to ride out the storm of accusations and the firestorm of anxiety that ensued without trying to undo any of it through confession or reassurance seeking behaviors. The whole episode was normally/abnormal in the realm of OCD experiences and responses.
That's why you are now on here looking for reassurance in an effort to check and see if your faith is still locked. Not fun is it? Stop checking that lock and you'll do much better.
Hugs!
Mitzi

Hey all,

I want to get your take on a situation that happened tonight that I am hoping was OCD and not me, but please be honest on your assessment of the situation?

I was invited over somewhere, I went there. There were these gummy bears on the table. I was told I could have some. I did, but while doing so I mentally said something to the effect of that I should not have much more because my food sensitivities, and it having a negative effect on me. The person hosting also made popcorn, and I had some. After some bites of the popcorn, I thought I may have a gummy bear to push some of the popcorn residue in my throat down. (I often get small bits of food debris that sit in my throat.) It wasn't that bad though tonight after eating the popcorn. As I was about to have the gummy bear I thought that I shouldn't and that I would be going back on what I said earlier in my mind about that I should not have much. Anyway, as I started to eat the gummy bear, I felt convicted that I shouldn't be eating it, and felt frustrated at the conviction. I am not sure if I was frustrated at the Holy Spirit or not; I may have been. I started to feel the phrase "Get behind me Satan." come out in my mind and I was starting to resist it, but then I gave into the thought and it happened. I do not think the Holy Spirit is Satan at all. But I do think I felt frustrated in that moment, and possibly toward the Holy Spirit about being convicted to not eat that gummy bear; and about feeling convicted when I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing. As I was chewing it I thought I need to go spit it out to show my repentance and love toward the Holy Spirit, but instead I kept chewing it and swallowed it. I felt awful that I did this. Wow. I told myself that I needed to immediately go pray and ask God to remember my transgressions toward His Holy Spirit no more. I discovered I had one small piece of the gummy bear left in my mouth and I believe I spit it out.

Does this sound like I genuinely sinned against God's Spirit tonight? Or does this sound like it was OCD? Please explain why? Please be totally honest in your assessment.

Thank you.

 

[followJesus1811]

The best way to distinguish between the Holy Spirit or your OCD is to go to God's word. There is nothing in the Bible speaking against what you did. Instead, Jesus wants you to live in freedom because He has set you free and paid for all your sins!

It is easy to think that OCD is the Holy Spirit and then we feel guilty for not listening to it. We do not need to listen to OCD!

What are feelings that led you to believe it is the Holy Spirit?

 

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

The reason why I felt it was the Holy Spirit convicting me, is that I know I probably shouldn't be having stuff with food coloring and chemicals, etc., in it because after eating certain foods I have an increase the OCD spikes. I thought it was the Holy Spirit convicting me to be cautious and that it would not be honoring to my body / brain / and condition to eat them.

The thing I am concerned about is the "Get behind me Satan" thought scenario I described. Also, that I continued to chew and swallow the gummy bear after I felt convicted to spit it out to show my repentance and love toward the Holy Spirit. I felt like an ugly hearted jerk afterward. But anyway, it is the the scenario surrounding those parts I want clarification on.

I come on here, because I cannot tell what is OCD and what is me sometimes, or sometimes I see both mingled in a situation, sometimes I do not know if the root of something is me, and has OCD features around it. This is why I come on here to get other people's thoughts.

Thanks for understanding.

 

[followJesus1811]

Do you feel like eating one more gummy bear would not be honoring to your body?

 

[flowerforever7]

Yes, I felt like I shouldn't really have been eating them, which is why I felt convicted to stop.

 

[tripletiger1200]

No, you did not. The very fact that you tried to resist the thought I believe shows that you did not want the thought, nor did it come from you. You are afraid of resisting the Spirit's conviction and of blaspheming him, right? Read the context of the verse again. The pharisees who committed that sin were not afraid of doing that, they did not revere Jesus the way that you do. We all get mad at God sometimes, there is a big difference between that and the unpardonable sin.

 

[followJesus1811]

Honestly I think this is your OCD speaking up- just my opinion. You were not destroying the temple of the Holy Spirit.

How do you feel now?