Someone Who Understands or Not?

[fishstix]

Let's say that you had to choose between a significant other who really truly understood you or one who is an extreme example of their own gender. For this question, assume that the two are mutually exclusive. You can have one or the other but not both.

In other words, guys - you could have a woman who totally understands you and isn't very feminine or a woman who is extremely feminine but doesn't understand a thing that you do/think/say; girls - you could have a man who totally understands you but isn't very masculine or a man who is extremely masculine but has no understanding whatsoever about things that you do/think/say. Which would you choose?

 

[KeilCoppes]

To quote the famous example: "If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve." It's easier being single! Come to think of it, that's where I am now...

 

[Xen_Antares]

Id have to go with a woman who understands me.

 

[charligirl]

Men MUST be men and masculine, but if they had no understanding of their spouse then marriage would be a nightmare, if they were all drippy then marriage would be a nightmare too....I think I would prefer to be single!!

 

[KLLM82]

Men MUST be men and masculine, but if they had no understanding of their spouse then marriage would be a nightmare, if they were all drippy then marriage would be a nightmare too....I think I would prefer to be single!!

Indeed

~Katia~

 

[Katty]

I don't think that it has so much to do with having a guy who totally understands me because sometimes when I rant and have to speak my mind, I'm not looking for understanding... just a willing ear to listen to what I have to say. Its nice to have someone who is an inbetween though, teehee. Your options don't leave much to desire at all hehehehe, I agree with the girls up there.... maybe it'll be good to stay single

~Katty~

 

[klewlis]

Yeah I'd rather stay single too (so I didn't vote).

 

[white dove]

I voted: I'm in the air about being single for the rest of my life or not.
I'm not sure if God's called me to be this way (as I've had this mindset for awhile) or whether He wants me to be with a man (I'm a little to ...hm.."expressive" with my feelings and it says in the Bible to get married if this is the case, and lately, it's been the case But, to answer the question, I prefer a (real) man who is understanding of me (my feelings -sympathetic, my emotions -perhaps someone laid back enough to let me go off on him..ha ha and who can spiritually connect with me, somone who doesn't see me as just a woman but as a Christian woman, a man I can pray with, etc. If a man is simply masculine, that doesn't mean he'll be a Christian, one who is walking with Christ, living for God. Masculinity in this case, is meaningless, "a chasing into the wind." Why, fishstix, you immasculine? I'd recently thought about this one friend of mine, he's perfect in almost every single way: we relate on so much except the fact that he is not Christian and ultimatly, I feel, sees my being a Christian as one of my "flaws." We cannot ever, will never, connect spiritually and our relationship would be kinda condemned from the get-go, so I let whatever attraction I have to him (oh yeah AND he's not masculine, either ) fall to the wayside. There's a God-fearing man out there for me, if God so wills it! P.S. girls can be kind of a softy to them "nerdy" lookin' guys!

 

[KarateJack]

She has to understand me.

i've never carried purses or paint my nails, so I guess I dont have to worry about not being masculine enough.

 

[mbuc]

I'll have to vote for both options here. I want a girl who is very feminine and also understands me. In return, she should expect a very masculine guy who understands her (well, at least as much as any guy can understand women ). No compromise necessary.

 

[plum]

how are these mutually exclusive?!

 

[KeilCoppes]

how are these mutually exclusive?!

Not at all in real life - just under the conditions of the given poll. :^)

 

[Lia]

Woah. This is a hard poll to vote and I don't know if I want someone who understands me better than a masculine man and vice versa. I would expect the man that God has in store for me have both qualities but not to the extremes on either sides.
So, yeah, I agree with the crowd by not voting and rather be a single for a while

 

[mbotz72]

I would want a man who is understanding of me because I think communication and relationships work better when there is some sort of common ground and understanding of each other.
When I think of masculinity, I think of many different definitions of it depending on your location. I just got back from Mexico, and there masculinity is all about macho-ism, which is a lot different than an American/US. view. There masulinity is about cat calls, having multiple lovers, "move it baby", "are you looking for me", telling all the gringas 'benitas' , grabbing their butts. This is what masculinity is there, and that is not attractive to me. Maybe because the culture that I come from sees all this as disrespect.

 

[fishstix]

I know that this isn't too realistic for real-world conditions; but the reason I have these separated is I want to see which one people think is more important in a spouse. So if you can only have one and not both; you'd pick the one that is more important to you. (Or stubbornly refuse to vote as a lot of people are doing )

 

[KeilCoppes]

Or stubbornly refuse to vote as a lot of people are doing )

Or maybe not stubborn, but knowing myself. If you added a few softer options with some of each such as
A) understanding but not feminine to the extreme - tomboyish
B) understanding but very difficult to look at, and butch
C) feminine but dumb as a post

then I would pick A without reservation. However, some of us simply cannot live at the extremes as we're more whole-people types and look for people who have some of each quality.

 

[Lia]

hehe. ok, then I would say that I would pick someone who would understand me better than just an outward appearance and he doesn't have a clue about me. But of course, there MUST be physical attractions to each other.

 

[hayleyvictoria]

I don't think the two are mutually exclusive! Someone's masculinity/femininity have nothing to do with the way they can understand the opposite sex...imho

 

[LightHearted]

Neither. I don't think that I'd be happy with either one.

 

[crydun]

I want a man that understands me. If he don't understand and appreciate me, it's not worth it.