SOMEBODY SAID by Renee Hawkley
(from her book, "Don't Come In Here! Mom's Throwing Spaghetti! Excerpts of this article were reprinted in the Reader's Digest.)
Somebody said a mother is an unskilled laborer . . .
somebody never gave a squirmy infant a bath.
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby . . .
somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said a mother's job consists of wiping noses and changing diapers . . .
somebody doesn't know that a child is much more than the shell he lives in.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct . . .
somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring . . .
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said teachers, psychologists and pediatricians know more about children than their mothers . . .
somebody hasn't invested her heart in another human being.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out" . . .
somebody thinks a child is like a bag of plaster of Paris that comes with directions, a mold and a guarantee.
Somebody said being a mother is what you do in your spare time . . .
somebody doesn't know that when you're a mother, you're a mother ALL the time.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices . . .
somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child wind up and hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother . . .
somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first . . .
somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books . . .
somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery . . .
somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back . . .
somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married . . .
somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home . . .
somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said being a mother is a side dish on the plate of life ...
somebody doesn't know what fills you up.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her . . .
somebody isn't a mother.
(from her book, "Don't Come In Here! Mom's Throwing Spaghetti! Excerpts of this article were reprinted in the Reader's Digest.)
Somebody said a mother is an unskilled laborer . . .
somebody never gave a squirmy infant a bath.
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby . . .
somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said a mother's job consists of wiping noses and changing diapers . . .
somebody doesn't know that a child is much more than the shell he lives in.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct . . .
somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring . . .
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said teachers, psychologists and pediatricians know more about children than their mothers . . .
somebody hasn't invested her heart in another human being.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out" . . .
somebody thinks a child is like a bag of plaster of Paris that comes with directions, a mold and a guarantee.
Somebody said being a mother is what you do in your spare time . . .
somebody doesn't know that when you're a mother, you're a mother ALL the time.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices . . .
somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child wind up and hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother . . .
somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first . . .
somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books . . .
somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery . . .
somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back . . .
somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married . . .
somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home . . .
somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said being a mother is a side dish on the plate of life ...
somebody doesn't know what fills you up.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her . . .
somebody isn't a mother.
