Hey, my first post here. God and Jesus recently started getting a much higher value in my life. And the more and more I put into them/him, the more difficult I find it to understand that I could once live without him. I always acknowledged Jesus as a wonderful person and God as something I couldn't comprehend. But now I want more. I found out that Christianity can give me satisfying answers about many things I've been wondering about for the best part of my life. I started going to Jesuschurch here in Norway (I'm a Belgian exchange student who lives in Norway for one year) every once in a while and I love it. I basically stopped going to church at all in Belgium because it was so boring (catholic church, no offense intended) to me. This church is full of life and extremely interesting people.
More and more I am led to the spiritual side and I hope that one day I will really believe in Jesus and be able to give my life to him. But I have some questions. The difficult part is that I really don't know how to put them.
For starters: should I take the bible literaly? I found an article, written by an atheist, about wrong things in the Bible. F.e. how Jesus disapproves of violence but goes out of control in the temple. Or how he says you will be punished for saying "you fool" while he uses this word himself again at the templescene I think (I haven't read enough bibleverses to fully support these statements, and I don't feel for looking up the link to the article). My point is, it doesn't take a genius to spot some contradictions in the Bible.
Another thing, through history the bible has been altered by the catholics. There is proof of this, I heard. What I'm wondering, to what extent is the Bible still reliable?
Also, I'm having general troubles believing in the supernatural. I know I want to but I find it difficult. I know I am on the right path but somewhere something is stopping me. What I have found out is that it is way easier to climb out of a pit to the top of the ladder, than starting at the middle. By this I mean that I don't really need God in the way that I need something to hold on to, or so one could say. Because my life is wonderful. But somehow I want more, "I wanna go deeper" (delirious
). Life seems pointless without any consequences.
But, I've met so many people that have talked to God, have been touched by Jesus or are filled with the Holy Spirit. I feel a weird jaelousy towards them. Somewhere I expect to get a sign, a feeling, or a word from God, but I also know it's not going to come. Because I ask for it out of curiousity, not out of faith.
I have long lost my main trail of thought here, but I think I shared enough struggles for one post. And don't let all of this fool you, I am an incredibly happy person who loves life and love. I just want to find out what I believe in.
-- thanks, jonatan
(admins: It's my first post so if I did anything wrong in this post, please let me know so I can keep this in mind next time.)