Warning, Don't read this below if you don't want to talk about hell/depressing stuff.
I don't want to lower anyone's spirit.
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This has bothered me horribly for many years (even making it very hard for me to sleep many nights). I was saved at a young age, but I never knew hell was eternal until I heard my dad read a passage several years later that said hell was eternal when I was a young teen. That shocked me, I always had this vision as a child that you are tortured for a certain amount of time until you have a second death of your spiritual body, and then you soul is gone forever (no more suffering) just like a deer, fish, or any wild animal dies (gone forever, no more suffering). I wanted to get saved because hell seemed bad from what my parent taught me. So I felt good as a kid knowing I should be saved, but if there was a small chance I was not saved and God never heard my prayer, then I felt it would probably be pretty bad to be tortured, but again I thought I would have a second death of the spiritual body and everything would go black with 'no more' just like a wild animal, so I felt ok about that. (Not knowing as a kid the whole time there is really no words to describe hell. Horrendous and doomed is putting it lightly)
So after years of thinking about this, my thoughts have turned into anger, depression, and confusion. As a young adult I still go to church since my parents want me to (even though I have social anxiety). But I have not personally read the Bible to my self in a few years because these issues have depressed me enough that I would rather do other things to keep my mind mostly off of this depressing stuff (whether it be sinful things or not, but I still ask for forgiveness each day in a sad trapped kind of way hoping God hears me and won't get mad at me for questioning stuff in the Bible like hell), but I can't shake off the anger/depression. That's why I'm posting here so maybe someone has an answer to my questions below (but maybe no one in the world has a good answer to my questions).
So the most horribly depressing thing to me is why did God even create the first humans if God knew (even before human creation) that only some people will go to heaven, and the majority of people on earth (probably like 70 to 90%) will be tortured in hell for eternity? Why even create people if it was God's will that no ones goes to hell??? It seems pretty simple to me to just never start the first humans in the beginning, then there would have been no one in hell ever. God would have been perfectly fine without people, and that's a fact.
This obliviously means that it was a plan that God would allow most humans to go to hell to be torture for eternity, and God created and keeps hell together and alive for some reason I don't know. Why does God not allow all the spirits/souls in hell to simple burn out instead of keeping them alive in hell to suffer for eternity?
So does this mean that I have to accept that it was God's plan (even before human creation) to torture most of humanity for eternity in hell?? Help, this is driving me mad!
I don't believe I will ever have total peace again (like I did when I was a kid) until I get this settled (if I ever can).
If hell lasted just millions of years, billions, or even a googol amount of years, I would be super happy with peace knowing it was finite, and not eternal. The reason I would have peace is because I don't know how anyone can be 110% sure if they are truly saved unless God personally sent an angel or sent some miraculous event to confirm permanent salvation to me. And I would be also be extra happy knowing that most of the would would not be tortured eternally. Even to the worst criminals I would never wish for them to be tortured eternally, because one second in hell would convert them into a priest if there was a small chance they could come back to Earth. But the Bible says it's eternal, and again this drives me mad. It's even more disheartening knowing that some people go to hell just because they are mislead about salvation, even though they are really nice and loving part of humanity on Earth.
But the eternal aspect of hell is so heavy on my mind, I sometimes feel like my head will explode.
I had what is termed medically as "night terrors" when I was a kid and those had the most horrendous, low, and doomed feelings you could ever imagine (being trapped and forced to do impossible tasks over and over in my mind with total confusion and chaos), I would twist up in my bed sheets as my heart was pounding out of my chest, with sweating, and not being able to wake up. When I would finally awaken it was the most blissful and heavenly feeling realizing it was not real and I was ok.
So I imagine hell is trillions of times worse.
Bible reference to what I posted above:
Only a few go to heaven and most go to hell:
Matthew 7:13 and 14
13"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 14"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
God wants all to be saved:
1 Timothy 2:3 and 4
3 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
God has always known the future:
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Psalm 33;11
"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations."
Proverbs 19:21
"Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
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One more thing, I don't believe in calvinism because to me God places the soul/spirit in a human right after conception in my belief. Thus People choosing to have kids are the ones that made a hell bound person in my option, because if God made that person it would mean calvinism is true. But since sex is a human freewill choice from God calvinism is false. Again I just don't know why God started humans in the beginning if God knew most would go to hell before God made humans.
So I think having kids is a huge giant eternal risk for possibly creating a hell bound person if they were to rebel as teenager/young adults (which is a big reason why I don't want kids).
I know a lot of this maybe hard to sink in, and I apologize if I offended or depressed anyone (because I'm not trying to do that), I'm just looking for maybe some good answers, because again this stuff just makes me extremely sad, and feel hopeless for peace.
I don't want to lower anyone's spirit.
-------
This has bothered me horribly for many years (even making it very hard for me to sleep many nights). I was saved at a young age, but I never knew hell was eternal until I heard my dad read a passage several years later that said hell was eternal when I was a young teen. That shocked me, I always had this vision as a child that you are tortured for a certain amount of time until you have a second death of your spiritual body, and then you soul is gone forever (no more suffering) just like a deer, fish, or any wild animal dies (gone forever, no more suffering). I wanted to get saved because hell seemed bad from what my parent taught me. So I felt good as a kid knowing I should be saved, but if there was a small chance I was not saved and God never heard my prayer, then I felt it would probably be pretty bad to be tortured, but again I thought I would have a second death of the spiritual body and everything would go black with 'no more' just like a wild animal, so I felt ok about that. (Not knowing as a kid the whole time there is really no words to describe hell. Horrendous and doomed is putting it lightly)
So after years of thinking about this, my thoughts have turned into anger, depression, and confusion. As a young adult I still go to church since my parents want me to (even though I have social anxiety). But I have not personally read the Bible to my self in a few years because these issues have depressed me enough that I would rather do other things to keep my mind mostly off of this depressing stuff (whether it be sinful things or not, but I still ask for forgiveness each day in a sad trapped kind of way hoping God hears me and won't get mad at me for questioning stuff in the Bible like hell), but I can't shake off the anger/depression. That's why I'm posting here so maybe someone has an answer to my questions below (but maybe no one in the world has a good answer to my questions).
So the most horribly depressing thing to me is why did God even create the first humans if God knew (even before human creation) that only some people will go to heaven, and the majority of people on earth (probably like 70 to 90%) will be tortured in hell for eternity? Why even create people if it was God's will that no ones goes to hell??? It seems pretty simple to me to just never start the first humans in the beginning, then there would have been no one in hell ever. God would have been perfectly fine without people, and that's a fact.
This obliviously means that it was a plan that God would allow most humans to go to hell to be torture for eternity, and God created and keeps hell together and alive for some reason I don't know. Why does God not allow all the spirits/souls in hell to simple burn out instead of keeping them alive in hell to suffer for eternity?
So does this mean that I have to accept that it was God's plan (even before human creation) to torture most of humanity for eternity in hell?? Help, this is driving me mad!
I don't believe I will ever have total peace again (like I did when I was a kid) until I get this settled (if I ever can).
If hell lasted just millions of years, billions, or even a googol amount of years, I would be super happy with peace knowing it was finite, and not eternal. The reason I would have peace is because I don't know how anyone can be 110% sure if they are truly saved unless God personally sent an angel or sent some miraculous event to confirm permanent salvation to me. And I would be also be extra happy knowing that most of the would would not be tortured eternally. Even to the worst criminals I would never wish for them to be tortured eternally, because one second in hell would convert them into a priest if there was a small chance they could come back to Earth. But the Bible says it's eternal, and again this drives me mad. It's even more disheartening knowing that some people go to hell just because they are mislead about salvation, even though they are really nice and loving part of humanity on Earth.
But the eternal aspect of hell is so heavy on my mind, I sometimes feel like my head will explode.
I had what is termed medically as "night terrors" when I was a kid and those had the most horrendous, low, and doomed feelings you could ever imagine (being trapped and forced to do impossible tasks over and over in my mind with total confusion and chaos), I would twist up in my bed sheets as my heart was pounding out of my chest, with sweating, and not being able to wake up. When I would finally awaken it was the most blissful and heavenly feeling realizing it was not real and I was ok.
So I imagine hell is trillions of times worse.
Bible reference to what I posted above:
Only a few go to heaven and most go to hell:
Matthew 7:13 and 14
13"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 14"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
God wants all to be saved:
1 Timothy 2:3 and 4
3 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
God has always known the future:
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Psalm 33;11
"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations."
Proverbs 19:21
"Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
-----
One more thing, I don't believe in calvinism because to me God places the soul/spirit in a human right after conception in my belief. Thus People choosing to have kids are the ones that made a hell bound person in my option, because if God made that person it would mean calvinism is true. But since sex is a human freewill choice from God calvinism is false. Again I just don't know why God started humans in the beginning if God knew most would go to hell before God made humans.
So I think having kids is a huge giant eternal risk for possibly creating a hell bound person if they were to rebel as teenager/young adults (which is a big reason why I don't want kids).
I know a lot of this maybe hard to sink in, and I apologize if I offended or depressed anyone (because I'm not trying to do that), I'm just looking for maybe some good answers, because again this stuff just makes me extremely sad, and feel hopeless for peace.
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