- Aug 17, 2012
- 71
- 4
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
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- US-Republican
[Updates below; issue seems to be solved]
Hello everyone,
Here are some thoughts from my mind. Any thoughts, advice, or other responses would be appreciated! God bless!
In sum (hopefully I won't end up with another long post this time lol), I think I have come to realize in more recent times I am a feminine male, at least stereotypically (e.g. I enjoy: working with children, fashion - maybe to an extent, the color pink, helping others; I cry during movies, and I even seem to giggle when I talk; I'm shy and self-conscious - all of which just "seemed to happen," nothing that was "trained").
Here's the confusion: what am I suppose to be doing? Should I focus more on these feminine traits that I seem to enjoy/do naturally, or try to be stereotypically "in-line" with my actual male gender? It's like being biologically male, but having a female personality (not transgender though, as I am satisfied with being a guy). At times, if I do something more "masculine," like changing oil in my car, I might get a bizarre feeling like, "what you are doing, this is what guys do, not girls?" (fortunately I don't mind changing oil lol). I know the Bible talks about eunuchs, which might be me (I've never dated, might have something to do with it). Despite all of this, I still seem to have some sort of interest in girls, though in a more "asexual" sense, like I might think a girl is pretty, but nothing beyond that (sex is still sort of strange to me, even now in my early 20's). I've even recently started wondering if I really even have a romantic orientation that's not aromatic (i.e. I may dream about experiencing romantic moments one day, but when I really think about it, I can't say for certain if I'm really interested at all, as I haven't dated yet to be more certain. but this is another topic anyway).
I guess sometimes it seems odd when many, if not all, of my male friends in school, or wanting to go to school, are going/wanting to go to school for things like engineering, but I want to be more at the "working with people" end of the spectrum in terms of careers (e.g. Psychology - what I'm going for now, Nursing, Physician).
Something that helps in all of this is my desire to be a non-conformist, so in a sense, I'm glad I'm "different," but now I am trying to figure out where I "fit" in the world, how does God want to use me?
I think a point which really kick-started all of this is when I realized, I think around the end of 2012, I have a pear-shaped body, generally associated with girls, not guys (though I realize it's not too uncommon). That's in addition to fast-growing hair. I think I started having thoughts like, "Okay, I have a feminine body, feminine hair, and a feminine personality, did I perhaps get too much estrogen, or am running out of testosterone?" Thoughts may go back and forth in situations like, "Should I approach this in a more feminine manner or a more masculine manner [like should I be kind or aggressive]?"
I guess at this point, if anyone has anything to help me out, feel free to post away
This whole last four years or so, I guess, has been trying to figure out where I need to be in life, and who I am in terms of personality (I know I'm in Christ). Should I accept my feminine side, or seek some other path (ultimately, I know God will righteously guide me)?
Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. I love you all! God bless
[UPDATE]
[Considering my post above] I think I can be a drama queen at times lol Sorry about that.
While I'm still trying to figure out what "works" and what "doesn't work," I think I am just going to view things now as I'm just simply a feminine guy, at least by stereotype standards (nothing bad necessarily, it's just how I am).
However I still wonder why, at times, I question my actions (e.g. in a situation, "Should I be more masculine or feminine?"). It's almost like an internal conflict of some sort, perhaps similar to something I just read about called "gender dysphoria." However, it's not really questioning my identity, but rather a questioning of roles I'm suppose to perform (e.g. should I be spending more time studying hairstyles, or learning how to fix a car?).
I think if there weren't cultural stereotypes, we'd be all be much more similar to each other, and issues like these would be minimal or not even in existence.
Additionally, I think I can see certain traits that are generally labeled as "feminine" being confused with "Christian" qualities, like gentleness. Though even when considering this, I think traits like being self-conscious and shy (I think I've been shy like my whole life lol) place me more on the "feminine" side of the spectrum (again, I don't really have a problem with that).
Again, any responses would be appreciated, though at this point I think I will manage with just seeing what God has planned for me (the subject's not really bothering me like it was last night when I wrote the post). God bless
[UPDATE #2]
I just feel asleep during the daytime (which is sort of rare for me), and I'm almost certain, possibly a first for me, I was wearing a dress in the dream. I remember I was trying to escape from something in a house (even threw a couple grenades lol) [I kept waking up, so the dream came in "segments"], and I think at some point when I was transitioning "back into" the dream world, I was making my way outside, and said/thought something like, "Oh, wait, I shouldn't be dressed like this in public [in reference to a feminine appearance]." I think there might have been other things, like having long hair and wearing make-up. Only God would truly know the reasoning.
Prayers concerning my situation would be appreciated. I have faith God will get me through all of this somehow. God bless
[UPDATE #3]
Well, this has been a pretty fast-paced situation lol In sum, I don't know how God did it, but I think I am doing a lot better now. I think this random thought that just came into my head helped - I'm a guy, God made me that way for a reason. Perhaps I will demonstrate leadership in a more gentle fashion, for example. Additionally, if I ever date, I may find a beautiful Christian girl that may admire my personality, as I will admire her personality.
Well, not bad lol It looks like many saw this topic though, I appreciate any support and prayers from any of you out there! God bless
Hello everyone,
Here are some thoughts from my mind. Any thoughts, advice, or other responses would be appreciated! God bless!
In sum (hopefully I won't end up with another long post this time lol), I think I have come to realize in more recent times I am a feminine male, at least stereotypically (e.g. I enjoy: working with children, fashion - maybe to an extent, the color pink, helping others; I cry during movies, and I even seem to giggle when I talk; I'm shy and self-conscious - all of which just "seemed to happen," nothing that was "trained").
Here's the confusion: what am I suppose to be doing? Should I focus more on these feminine traits that I seem to enjoy/do naturally, or try to be stereotypically "in-line" with my actual male gender? It's like being biologically male, but having a female personality (not transgender though, as I am satisfied with being a guy). At times, if I do something more "masculine," like changing oil in my car, I might get a bizarre feeling like, "what you are doing, this is what guys do, not girls?" (fortunately I don't mind changing oil lol). I know the Bible talks about eunuchs, which might be me (I've never dated, might have something to do with it). Despite all of this, I still seem to have some sort of interest in girls, though in a more "asexual" sense, like I might think a girl is pretty, but nothing beyond that (sex is still sort of strange to me, even now in my early 20's). I've even recently started wondering if I really even have a romantic orientation that's not aromatic (i.e. I may dream about experiencing romantic moments one day, but when I really think about it, I can't say for certain if I'm really interested at all, as I haven't dated yet to be more certain. but this is another topic anyway).
I guess sometimes it seems odd when many, if not all, of my male friends in school, or wanting to go to school, are going/wanting to go to school for things like engineering, but I want to be more at the "working with people" end of the spectrum in terms of careers (e.g. Psychology - what I'm going for now, Nursing, Physician).
Something that helps in all of this is my desire to be a non-conformist, so in a sense, I'm glad I'm "different," but now I am trying to figure out where I "fit" in the world, how does God want to use me?
I think a point which really kick-started all of this is when I realized, I think around the end of 2012, I have a pear-shaped body, generally associated with girls, not guys (though I realize it's not too uncommon). That's in addition to fast-growing hair. I think I started having thoughts like, "Okay, I have a feminine body, feminine hair, and a feminine personality, did I perhaps get too much estrogen, or am running out of testosterone?" Thoughts may go back and forth in situations like, "Should I approach this in a more feminine manner or a more masculine manner [like should I be kind or aggressive]?"
I guess at this point, if anyone has anything to help me out, feel free to post away
This whole last four years or so, I guess, has been trying to figure out where I need to be in life, and who I am in terms of personality (I know I'm in Christ). Should I accept my feminine side, or seek some other path (ultimately, I know God will righteously guide me)?Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. I love you all! God bless
[UPDATE]
[Considering my post above] I think I can be a drama queen at times lol Sorry about that.
While I'm still trying to figure out what "works" and what "doesn't work," I think I am just going to view things now as I'm just simply a feminine guy, at least by stereotype standards (nothing bad necessarily, it's just how I am).
However I still wonder why, at times, I question my actions (e.g. in a situation, "Should I be more masculine or feminine?"). It's almost like an internal conflict of some sort, perhaps similar to something I just read about called "gender dysphoria." However, it's not really questioning my identity, but rather a questioning of roles I'm suppose to perform (e.g. should I be spending more time studying hairstyles, or learning how to fix a car?).
I think if there weren't cultural stereotypes, we'd be all be much more similar to each other, and issues like these would be minimal or not even in existence.
Additionally, I think I can see certain traits that are generally labeled as "feminine" being confused with "Christian" qualities, like gentleness. Though even when considering this, I think traits like being self-conscious and shy (I think I've been shy like my whole life lol) place me more on the "feminine" side of the spectrum (again, I don't really have a problem with that).
Again, any responses would be appreciated, though at this point I think I will manage with just seeing what God has planned for me (the subject's not really bothering me like it was last night when I wrote the post). God bless
[UPDATE #2]
I just feel asleep during the daytime (which is sort of rare for me), and I'm almost certain, possibly a first for me, I was wearing a dress in the dream. I remember I was trying to escape from something in a house (even threw a couple grenades lol) [I kept waking up, so the dream came in "segments"], and I think at some point when I was transitioning "back into" the dream world, I was making my way outside, and said/thought something like, "Oh, wait, I shouldn't be dressed like this in public [in reference to a feminine appearance]." I think there might have been other things, like having long hair and wearing make-up. Only God would truly know the reasoning.
Prayers concerning my situation would be appreciated. I have faith God will get me through all of this somehow. God bless
[UPDATE #3]
Well, this has been a pretty fast-paced situation lol In sum, I don't know how God did it, but I think I am doing a lot better now. I think this random thought that just came into my head helped - I'm a guy, God made me that way for a reason. Perhaps I will demonstrate leadership in a more gentle fashion, for example. Additionally, if I ever date, I may find a beautiful Christian girl that may admire my personality, as I will admire her personality.
Well, not bad lol It looks like many saw this topic though, I appreciate any support and prayers from any of you out there! God bless
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